|
This "pro-life" Christian movie (screen play by me) is not about hating anyone, except those who are "beyond the love of Jesus" like fags, abortion endorsing feminiNAZIs, darwinist monkey lovers, moose-limb towelheads, nigger loving jew boys, cow urine drinking hindus, pagan devil worshipping buddhists, hell bound atheists and well........ all the 5 billion+ non-caucasian, non-christians of this planet who are intrinsically sinful for daring not to conform to the 0.01 billion evangelical christian concept of morality.
=============================
Movie Title : A Clockwork RED
=============================
Cast : Arnold Schwarzenegger, Brad Pitt, Johnny Depp and a bunch of monkeys in space suits.
====================
In the year 2400 A.D., scientists have made a breakthrough in
medicine and discovered a drug of immortality enabling people to
live as long as they wish, without ageing even a wee bit.. Suddenly, the United States president (played by a white haired, quirky Johnny Depp) comes out of the closet and tells the world that he is queer.. and immediately outlaws "marriage", "families" and even "heterosexual intercourse".. he proclaims that all people must turn gay like him, as procreation is no longer required, as everyone can live long eternally, and kids would only burden the society with more resource consumption w/o contributing anything in return.
He enforces his new laws with the aid of indestructible android
monkeys (monkeys symbolically denote "darwinism") and some tough looking angular guys with "French" accents (for obvious reasons).
These henchmen first drive out all men from female strip clubs and
women from male, force men to watch other men strip and force them
to enjoy it (big government brutality like communism).
They trade all children (aged 0-1 yr) to flesh eating alien
zombies (who for some inexplicable reason dress like Arabs) in exchange for precious minerals needed to manufacture the immortality drug (confirming the right wing suspicion that homosexuals are infact driving the "pro-abortion" movement).
However, all hope is not lost for there are still some men who
can defend the noble American ideals of "freedom", "democracy",
"family values" and "right to lecherously grope women with big
breasts".
Arnold Schwarzenegger, is a family guy, not particularly religious, whose wife was killed and little kid was kidnapped and sold to the flesh eating alien zombies by the monkey androids... he then foolishly attacks the president along with his little brother (played by the "cute" Brad Pitt), but both of them are captured by the french mercenaries and taken to a male strip club to be tortured.... there they are was forced to watch Michael Moore perform on a pole---NAKED.. the kid brother dies of heart attack and brain hammorhage, while Arnie survives by bravely blinding both his eyes. Thinking, he is incapacitated, the "girly men" throw him out somewhere deep inside the "flyover countryside".
However, Arnie boy, being the true christian that he is, rediscovers
his new faith and due to a miracle performed at an Alabama based EVANGELICAL "healing service" miraculously regains his sight. With his new found faith in the almighty Evangelicals, he forms a fellowship of brave, christian warriors who decide to wage a guerilla war against the homosexuals, liberals and android Monkeys from outer space (with machine guns, bazookas, tanks and nuclear bombs all supplied by the christian knights of National Rifle Association).
The movie ends with a daring assault by the "pro-life" christian knights on the white house.. As a rule of thumb like in all hollywood movies, a negro definitely dies at the end, Arnie's sidekick most probably Samuel L. Jackson, who was merely included for the sake of highlighting our hero's "open-mindedness", gets killed in the penultimate scene and dies in our heroes' arms, but not before
decimating the super-android monkey that gnawed his privates which
resulted in his "delightfully" painful death.
But with Charlton Heston's ghost egging them on from inside their
computer network, they trace and capture the president, who conforming to the "queer" stereotype, meekly surrenders to our brave, christian fellowship without much fight.
And being extremely morally upright, Arnie refuses presidency saying that he didnt "liberate his country for the sake of power, but only to realize the American dream of groping women with huge breasts" with such gravitas that leaves mist in the eyes of every American Citizen and even those evil android space monkeys. He only lays down one condition, viz to give him the full custody of Johnny "the queer" Depp.
In the final scene, Arnie exacts the ultimate revenge on his
queer nemesis, by imprisoning him for life in a 24 hour all nude
female strip club with extremely fat and horny women..
Blessed by Charlton Heston's ghost, our brave christian knights install a new family friendly guy - George Bush the 23rd, who promptly puts all homosexuals to death and announces 3 more wars simultaneously against the remaining non-christian, non-caucasian "pagan" countries of the planet.
As the music mellows down, Arnie smugly smiles and walks away into the night, looking snappy in his full sleeved checkered shirt and blue jeans with the big buckle flashing stylishly "COWBOY TERMINATOR".. and doffs his "cowboy Hat" at the first good lookin' blonde he meets on the street corner to the score of Toby Keith's country songs. And as the screen blanks off with the girl giggling at the prospect of getting laid by our hero, the sweet country song is interrupted by an agony-filled shrill scream of a tortured queer..
---
"Ready, Steady, Go............." - Anon
|
Printer-friendly format
Email this thread to a friend
Bookmark this thread
(121 posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
