LOL! "Top reasons" Scooter's on crutches, from Wonkette

[DeepModem Mom]

A loyal reader writes in that Das Scooter has been spotted on a pair of crutches....(A)forementioned loyal reader supplies yet more irresponsible speculation surrounding the Plame case, to wit:

Top 5 reasons Libby on crutches

5. Tried to take out frustrations on family dog and got bitten.

4. Got frustrated and kicked office safe after learning combination changed.

3. Tripped down basement stairs while carrying documents to home shredder.

2. Transparently faking injury in hopeless sympathy plea.

1. Twisted ankle in shower portion of prison orientation tour.


A good start, but we have--in no particular order--more after the jump --HOLLY MARTINS

-Clumsy effort to revive Vin "the Chin" Gigante faked-insanity strategy; plans to greet inquiries in court with the reply "Crutches? What crutches?"

-Veiled message to Judy Miller that her legs will be next

-Coded "lame duck" message to president Bush

-Not injured at all; just irrepressibly proud of new custom-made all-aspen crutches

-Waiver given to future cellmate was in fact "coerced"

-Turns out not as easy to outrun bailifs as he had thought

-Harriet Miers with a tire iron in the parking garage

-Was going to do the hideous-surgery-one-glove Michael Jackson thing, which apparently goes over well with juries, but there wasn't time

-Poignant evening of farewell lovemaking with Vice President Cheney went horribly wrong when they adopted "scissorlock" position


http://www.wonkette.com/

[woodsprite]

1. Slipped on the vaseline he dropped while packing his bags for prison. n/t

[DeepModem Mom]

2. Good one!

[Nictuku]

3. I think it was Cheney...

Every time Shrub showed up with some kind of 'injury', I imagined that instead of a pretzel, it really was Cheney in his 'Wife-Beaters' T-Shirt. Bush tried to assert that he was the President, and Cheney corrected him.

Given that Libby and Cheney are at odds these days, it fits that it was Cheney.

[lebkuchen]

4. Plebeitis

worked for Nixon!

[hvn_nbr_2]

19. phlebitis or plea-bitis? nt

[understandinglife]

5. ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:rofl:


Peace.

[Dangerously Amused]

6. Code to President: "I am your crutch. If you let me go, you'll fall too."

[dancingme]

7. "Jeff Gannon" really does leave marks

among the other many JimmyJeff jokes

[underpants]

8. The Aspens unexpectedly turned and he tripped over the connected roots

you realize that outside of our pods even the machines can't quite figure out what the hell is going on with that...you do realize that don't you?

[Richard Steele]

9. "Harriet Miers with a tire iron in the parking garage"

Bwahahaha!!!!

[Matariki]

10. whoa! i've been noticing for a while now that a LOT of the Bush admin

seems to occasionally sport bruises. Condi seemed to have some on her face recently, Jr. seems to have them often. Now this. So WHO is beating them? Cheney? A pro-dom? It's weird.

[melody]

11. Poppy showed up with one not long ago, too

My money's on Pickles.

[soothsayer]

12. It's hard on the DNA, being shapeshifting reptilian

[DeepModem Mom]

13. Kicking for SoCalDem.

[SoCalDem]

14. ack

I didn;t see this:spank: and it was NOT on the 10 listed :) honest :)

[DeepModem Mom]

15. Oh, no problem! I just thought you'd enjoy it!

[KamaAina]

16. 'Cause he doesn't have a leg to stand on?

There's yer proof right there. :-)

[sundancekid]

17. judas miller with the aspen stick in the kneecaps at the DC Ritz hotel

[DeepModem Mom]

18. Uh-oh! We may have a winner. nt

[sundancekid]

20. awe-schuckins, ma'am

:blush: