You showed up at the dealership and you were met by your favorite salesman, "Karl". He talked to you a bit. He fed you a lot of lies and you showed him that you were interested in what he was selling. That was your first mistake. Used politician salespeople are notoriously adept at smelling even the faintest hint of interest in the candidate that their dealership is pawning off.
They are also great at looking into what motivates YOU. After all it was YOUR president you were picking.
Just like the guy that sold you your last car, he asked all about you. He didn't ask how far you drive to work. He asked you how much you fear married gay folks. He wanted to know how much you feared terrorists and liberals (commies even). He whispered in your ear that he had heard rumors that Saddam was reconstituting his nuke program. That made you nervous.
You told him all about how you though if gay people were allowed to get married that your marriage would be devalued. You told him that Osama was coming for you and may attack your soccer mom special SUV. Hell, you have always hated Saddam. He was fucking with your freedom. Now he wants to NUKE you? Well shit. Who cares about the milage. What you need was "strength and stability"!
Karl had just the model for you. You knew the last model that they had sold you. This one had the same name. You could see the resemblance in style and it looked like it would survive any accident. It looked strong (to you). Certainly he could keep Saddam and Osama out of your backyard!
Even better, it looked like a model that hated gays and liberals as much as you did. Smelling a sale close at hand, Karl came in for the clincher, the kill as it were. He was a good CHRISTIAN man!
Well that tore it! A model that would pack the courts with anti-abortion justices. Hell, you had been asking for that for 30 plus years. Not going soft on that.
So there you are sure that this model would lead you to the neocon/fundie promised land! Karl pulled out some papers and you quickly signed. You drove out of the dealership feeling great.
The first 5 years or so, it seemed to be running just fine. Gonna keep you safe with a missile shield. Tough on those commies that made 3/4 of the cheap crap in your home. There was that 9/11 business. But, that just allowed you to get tough on the real problem Saddam. You were ready and willing to shove those skuds up Saddam's ass and so was Bush. Felt good.
Then you started to notice a slowdown in performance. The big Osama hunt turned up an empty noose. Well, you got Saddam. Made you think maybe the bug had worked itself out.
But, then you found out that the model really was not up to Karl's sales job. Still no word on bogeyman Osama. You had Saddam. But, Iraq just kept sinking further into chaos and we were pinned down there. The death toll and costs just kept growing. 2/3 of the nation had turned against the effort. And worst of all no sign of any WMD. NONE!
The whole sales pitch was proving to be full of holes. The very premise under which you bought the model was a lie.
Well, there were always the morality issues. Look out gays! This whole thing may not run like Karl said it would. But, certainly we will go after them!
Ooh! Too bad. No action at all.
OK, there is always the crown jewel, the supreme court. Roberts was zero to sixty in 3.2 seconds. That was more like it. You were feeling good. The next one would certainly lock up the court. But then you blew a serious flat with the Meirs nomination.
Now, this purchase is starting to limp down the road with smoke pouring out.
I'm sorry Bush voters, ALL SALES ARE FINAL. As you were so fond of saying after your purchase, the people have spoken. Deal with it!
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