Just *what* does Tucker Carlson need?

[mcscajun]

Inspired by a post by koopie57, after his lame-ass appearance on Real Time with Bill Maher this past Friday.

What does Tucker Carlson really need?

[SeattleRob]

1. I voted other...

He obviously needs a brain!

[SammyBlue]

31. I too voted other

because all of the above is missing.

[mcscajun]

37. Sorry to be late...but since you mentioned it...it's there now. :)

Silly me, I should have realized that option was important. :)

[terrya]

2. It involves a 12" dildo

That's all I can say.

[Raster]

6. Spin! Bow tie, Spin!

[Neocondriac]

10. He....Needs to eat that frickin bow tie!

[racaulk]

BWA HA HA HA HA HA

You're so wrong for that! At least give the man some Crisco!

:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

[swimmernsecretsea]

22. Is that width or length?

I vote width. He seems to be very empty in many ways, so we'll just start there.

[WI_DEM]

3. a good toupe

[cassiepriam]

4. Lose the bowtie.

[mcscajun]

11. I think that's the inspiration for choice #1.

I believe koopie57 thinks the blood supply is cut off by the bowtie.

[cassiepriam]

29. The bowtie holds his head on.

[mcscajun]

36. Ha!

:Spray:

[crispini]

5. Tucker Carlson needs to spend some time in an alternate universe.

One where he is poor, ill, a minority, with three kids he can't afford to feed.

Maybe then he'd grow some compassion, instead of espousing his hearty, pull-yourself-up-by-your bootstraps brand of white-man Libertarian philosophy that's so EASY to preach when you've had all of the advantages that life offers simply handed to you.

[proReality]

7. An enema...

to force his brain back into position.

[AspenRose]

48. Great minds think alike.

eom

[arcos]

8. Gay sex

:evilgrin:

[amitten]

20. No...ANY sex. And no, I will not volunteer. n/t

[shenmue]

9. A meeting between...

my foot and his rear end.

[LSparkle]

12. To become a perpetually-whipped guest on "The Rachel Maddow Show"

which will replace "The Situation."

[shenmue]

47. Righto!

I'd record that every day. With glee.

[Doc Sardonic]

13. What Tucky the Bow-tie Clown needs

is a High Colonic with gasoline and a book of matches

[mcscajun]

15. Don't hold back, Doc. Tell us how you *really* feel.

:spray:

[Chan790]

14. I think he really needs to get laid.

It'd do wonders for the clenched-up little twit, might mellow him out and make him see that conservatism is all bull shit. He seems like he'd be a pretty good fellow if he wasn't a rabid GOP nutcase.

[Eric J in MN]

16. I want his show cancelled, but I say give him a two weeks notice (nt)

nt

[ClintonTyree]

17. A labotomy.........

because the first one obviously didn't do the trick. He still has a few brain cells left and believe me, that's all he's running on, a few.

[hippiechick]

19. I'll second that !

:applause:

[The Witch]

18. screw the wet noodle

or at least he needs to screw something.

or a screwdriver. sometimes he seems a little on edge... or is it just me? :eyes:

[LoKnLoD]

21. A new hairdo

That is the same haircut I had in high school in 1978.

[Catfight]

23. A deep voice that resembles a man. That goes for Hannity as well.

There's nothing more annoying then men who have high pitched shrill like voices. There's no way to make them attractive, that's why I think they are so bitter toward women and liberal good looking men, because the real men of the democratic party don't have any problem attracting women. Even Larry David can attract good looking liberal women. Tell me if Pat the Purple Heartless band-aid queen is what men want or a liberal like Angelie Jolie? DUH

Tucker...maybe you're balls will drop someday, but until that happens, stay on the Nixon party of republican wimp-boys.

[drb]

24. A week on a desert island with Jeff Guckert...

...and no vaseline.

[datadiva]

25. Give him a new job as

Ann Coulter's gopher

[MN ChimpH8R]

26. A five gallon enema followed

by a ten-mile hike.

[Crunchy Frog]

27. To enter puberty? n/t

[Skidmore]

28. Someone to loosen his bow-tie so his head deflates a little.

[LittleClarkie]

30. Other: more in need of a blow job than any white man in history

With apologies to Robin.

[mcscajun]

33. Ha!

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[roguevalley]

32. hit puberty.

[mcscajun]

38. Any thoughts on just what he should hit it with?

:rofl:

[LostInAnomie]

34. A sound ass kicking...

... and then about 10 more ass kickings.

[bluedawg12]

35. A bag over his head and a muzzle. n/t

[ThingsGottaChange]

39. A Fab Five Makover!! NOW!!! nt

[mcscajun]

41. Woohoo! I'll second that one!

:woohoo:

I want to see Carson meet Carlson. :)

[porphyrian]

40. Something stiff...

...either placed into or removed from his ass.

[MsTryska]

42. He needs Rachel Maddow.....

holding him on a leash, and treating him like the bitch he is.

[julialnyc]

43. to be dropped off in the middle of Africa or Iraq

high on lcd to trip out on the poor, the sick, the tortured/bombed (all the people that he doesn't think warrant his empathy).

[0007]

44. I think Noelle Bush has more on the ball than Tucker! n/t

[chat_noir]

45. any handwriting analysts around?

hmmmm...big loops on those d's. Very sensitive to criticism.

(That's all I remember about h/w analysis.

[yellowcanine]

46. I was going to say a good ass f**king, but I see others have already

pretty much covered that...