CNN: Pat Robertson Announces That God Told Him Bush* Will Win

[matcom]

reelection!

on his 700 club show this morning(?)

GAWD told old Pat PERSONALLY that Georgie is GUARANTEED to win reelection. apparently he is GOD's choice.

ok. then Georgie can give back all his money right? i mean he doesn't even have to RUN right?

:eyes:

um.... ok Pat. whatever.

[camero]

1. Like he was right about the hurricanes

The ones he prayed to turn away made a direct hit on Virginia Beach, VA.

[Sir Craig]

39. An example of "Happy Ironies"

Hurricanes 2, Pat Robertson 0

Hurricane Isabel roared through Virginia Beach, Va., in September, inflicting serious property damage despite public calls for prayer to keep it away by local resident Pat Robertson, whose Christian Broadcasting Network is headquartered there. (In 1998, Robertson condemned the city of Orlando, Fla., for sponsoring the Gay Days festival, and warned the city that God could tear it up during hurricane season for promoting homosexuality. Instead, the first hurricane to make landfall in 1998, Bonnie, scored a direct hit on Virginia Beach.)

Courtesy of News of the Weird.

[camero]

42. I read that

The whole column was funny. I call it "poetic justice". :)

[Dems Will Win]

56. Exactly! This will turn out the same

LOL! OMG!

[VelmaD]

2. That's amazing considering...

he was never elected in the first place. ;-)

[cosmicdot]

6. take a bow, VelmaD ... "he was never elected in the first place:

high-fives all around

Pat has spoken ... might as well just pack it up ... the really scary part: the people following his propaganda ... religiously, so to speak :)

[aquart]

49. Hey, it just means

They don't have to leave the TV and go to the polls.

[AntiCoup2K4]

3. Well, God told me different, so Fuck You Pat!!

And unless God works for Diebold - which would be a clear conflict of interest causing God to break His own commandment "Thou Shalt Not Steal" - Pat's gonna be proven wrong.

And didn't that last hurricane fuck up Virginia Beach pretty bad? Seems Pat's line to God has a few transmission problems lately. Wouldn't be surprised if the Big Guy hung up on him. I would have :D

[KissMyAsscroft]

4. The fact that CNN gives this nutcase a forum

really reveals a lot about this country.

[wryter2000]

14. Ain't that the truth?

I'm amazed every time I see one of the fundie nutcases on a "mainstream" network. Why don't they just give Charlie Manson a show? He might have some interesting insights.

[bobthedrummer]

17. It's still the Third Reich out there.

Wait until the show trials of Saddam and others during an election year.

Hysteria like during McCarthy and HUAC era was much like this IMHO and experience.

[LibertyorDeath]

52. KissMyAsscroft ain't that the truth.

CNN is competing with faux to be the official propaganda arm of the rethuglican party.

[Bill McBlueState]

5. Have you seen Pat lately?

He's lookin' *OLD*

Sounds like he's just trying to get a few last bits of attention before death carries him off, screaming.

It's annoying, though, how stupid people make baseless predictions all the time, but this one ends up on CNN. When I said the Steelers would go to the playoffs this year, that was pretty damn stupid, but I didn't get to go on TV about it. :-(

[impeach the gop]

13. Not to worry, behold his bastard son

just another cow chip out the old disgusting pops asshole. The legacy and the corruption lives on. We need to sterilize these diseased mentally deranged undesirables. They have become like Saddam a danger and contamination to the good citizens of freedom lovers thruout the world.

[placton]

18. Yes, I imagine in my happiest dreams

that death comes to this scumbag and his ilk accompanined by the "demons" in the movie "Ghost" come the get the bad guys.

[burythehatchet]

45. No need to worry

his little "mini me" is ready to take over. Praise the lord

[OneBlueSky]

7. okay, kids . . . that's it . . . cancel the primaries . . .

the results are in, and from no less an authority than the Big Guy himself . . . speaking through his prophet, Pat Robertson . . . let's just have the coronation and go home . . .

[spanone]

8. What God would talk to this f*cking idiot?

[drb]

11. LOL!!!!!

:D

[MrBenchley]

9. Was that the same God

that gave Preacher Pat a whopping case of rectal cancer? Ho-kay.

[drb]

10. Maybe Pat would do me a favor and ask God to give me...

...the winning Powerball numbers for next week!?!?

Pat is SO full of shit! He really gives Christians a huge black eye.

---

"Don't the Bible say we must love everybody?"

"O, the Bible! To be sure, it says a great many such things, but then no one ever thinks of doing them. No know, Eva, nobody does."

--Hariett Beecher Stowe, "Uncle Tom's Cabin"

[dae]

48. He's as close to being a Christian as I am to a Hindu. No insult meant

to Hindu's.

[randr]

12. Spread the word

Tell all the repugs they need not vote. God is voting for them.

[slor]

15. This may backfire...

and turn alot of people off IMHO.

[maggrwaggr]

16. gee, I guess God hates America

That's the only logical conclusion I can come to regarding this.

[H2O Man]

21. This is GREAT!!!

Humor is a weapon -- use it!!! The replies on here are so good that my face hurts from laughing! Go forth and spread the good jokes!

[liberalitch]

19. buddha told me...

that pat robertson is coming back as a turnip......

[loudsue]

20. God told Loudsue that shrub would STEAL the next election

just like he did the first one! God then told Loudsue that the lack of voting machine security and lack of paper BALLOTS make it easier in 2004 than in 2000.

So saith God. So saith He.

:nuke:

[karlschneider]

22. I would cheerfully put a bullet between the bastard's eyes.

:grr:

[arcane1]

23. this was on the NEWS?????

:wtf:

[matcom]

24. if you can call CNN "news"

:shrug:

[populistmom]

25. Are you sure it wasn't Diebold executives that told you, Pat?

:mad:

[jonnyblitz]

26. half the Republican callers on CSPAN say the same thing. n/t

[Pegleg Thd]

27. If you remember back in the 80's

robertson's gawd and a fifth of Jack Daniels told him to run for president and that he would win.
He is a fraud and a repuke liar...and so is his gawd.

[ElsewheresDaughter]

28. Robberson, "God told me to lob off the hands of those Liberian children

to keep their folks hands off mmy diamonds"

[BuelahWitch]

29. Which god was it that told him?

:D :spank:

[Gin]

30. the news stations in Va Beach are talking about what he said and

he's being ridiculed.....hes a baffoon...

[BuelahWitch]

31. "And Jesus Wept" n/t

[Rex]

32. Pat worships the false god Diebold!

He should be barred from preaching.

[BrewCrew]

33. Barry Lynn response

The Barry Lynn response was classic. Well said my friend...

The Rev. Barry W. Lynn, a frequent Robertson critic and executive director of Americans United for Separation of Church and State said he had a prediction of his own:

"Pat Robertson in 2004 will continue to use his multimillion broadcasting empire to promote George Bush and other Republican candidates."

"Maybe Pat got a message from Karl Rove and thought it was from God."

[Fridays Child]

46. Good one!

WTG, Barry Lynn!

[Virginian]

58. Maybe Pat thinks KKKarl is God...

n/t

[snippy]

34. Nothing says "republican" like corruption approved by God.

Democrats should find a way to use this to bring up Bush's claim that he was chosen by God to be president and that God told him to go after Saddam.

[TheWebHead]

35. more great news

the more these conservative leaders insist that Bush will win by landslide, the less inspired their minions will be to go out and vote... and the more infuriated it will make liberals to go out and prove them wrong. This is sort of like a player on the opposing team guaranteeing victory, the newspaper clippings get plastered all over the other team's locker room by the gleeful coach.

[opihimoimoi]

36. "Beware the False Prophets"

They will burn yo ass every freakin time.

Pat is a Fraud. God told me He don talk to that asshole, He talks to Charlie. You know, the guy who sleeps under the bridge.

[MarkTwain]

37. I Agree With Pat...

... and now, please, all of Pat's members and followers remember:

You need NOT vote because Pat and god are going to make it so for George, The Ordained.

That's right fellow 700 clubbers, go to church instead of the polls on Voting Day!

[Generic Other]

38. Bush is the best God can come up with?

The Lord is a worse fuck-up than I thought!

Unless, he sent Bush to punish us, in which case he appears to have known what he was doing.

[Junkdrawer]

40. If GOD=Good Old Diebold, I'd believe it...

:evilgrin:

[Mike Niendorff]

41. What Robertson left out :

"... And, furthermore, I promise you this as a punishment for your evil, abysmally corrupt right-wing ways and for the way you have destroyed My good name and turned my teachings into a worldwide laughingstock. Yes, Pat: Egypt got frogs and locusts, you and your followers get four more years of George W. Bush. Let's hope you learn your lesson this time, or else I'll have really get medeival on your asses.

Sincerely,

God.


PS: And stop putting My name on your press releases, you insufferable little jerk."


MDN

[JPace]

43. AWOL did not win the last election, he stole it and if he

gets the next election it will most likely
be because he stole it again!.

With a lot of help from Rove, repugs and Diebold.

[neebob]

44. Uh-huh

And someone's esophageal erosions due to acid reflux disease are healing right now, and someone's back pain is subsiding, and someone's toes lost to frostbite are growing back. What an asshole.

[JPace]

47. Will someone tell me why God is always talking to repugs

and never talks to us?

Is this discrimination or what?

[cliss]

50. Jeez, what funny posts!

DU:ers really do have a sense of humor. Even though it's black humor sometimes.

Well, maybe it's a good thing Psychotic Pat is a spokesman for the 'Righteous Right'. He's so far out there, that he just makes them look like clowns.

Maybe he'll push the envelope so far that even THEY will get indignant and demand his ouster. Then maybe they'll wake up to how twisted their party really has become.

One can always hope.

[scarface2004]

51. god just told me

pat robertson is a fucking asshole!!! bigtime!!

[are_we_united_yet]

53. I'm sorry

that just cracked me up!!!

:)

[NNN0LHI]

54. If he was good at this stuff he wouldn't be groveling for money every day

He would be at the track.

Don

[Dems Will Win]

55. God: Leno and Letterman are going to have a field day with this one!

[Virginian]

57. Ya gotta watch these people who say God talks to them.

Don't they end up in treatment facilities sooner or later?

Didn't God tell Son of Sam to kill people? or was that some other mass murderer?

[NoPasaran]

59. All I have to say is

Fuck you Pat!
And fuck the horse you rode in on!

[Norquist Nemesis]

60. Thanks Pat!

For once again showing the nation in a big way that there's no separation of church and state; not to mention directly connecting GWB to the extreme religious right. :bounce:

And they call us loons. :freak:

[ErasureAcer]

61. so if Bush loses...

does that prove Pat's "god" is not real?

hmmm...maybe I should vote for the Dem nominee under any circumstance...then again...maybe not. ;)