Why I am a republican

[Wink]

Sorry if this is a dupe. It's too funny to pass up. An actual request for reasons why you are a republican.

http://www.republicantv.org/page2.htm

Here's the one I gave them.


Cause them thar Clintons have to be stopped at all costs. They are trying to take away all the money of good American people. Whether that is the hard earned trust fund of George W. or the b&w television I got from Uncle Henry's estate. All that plus God told me to vote GOP.

[JesusNoRepublican]

1. I sent them to www.JesusNoRepublican.Org !

Boy are THEY in for a surprise . I wrote :

"Check out the reasons why Satan is a Republican at http://www.JesusNoRepublican.Org "

[GreenPartyVoter]

25. I do enjoy that site

but I enjoy the sister site Liberals like Christ even more. Maybe because it's just so positive and uplifting. No wonder I have two different links to it on my own site. ;)

[Bronco69]

2. My reply...

Them thar queers need to be stopped! They's breedin like rabbits!

[mithnanthy]

3. I wrote...

Because I am greedy and only care about myself, no matter who else is suffering. (geesh....do you think they'll "get it"?)

[DU9598]

4. Fox News site?

Is that www.republicantv.org the Fox News Website? Just curious ...

[DU9598]

5. Also

I wrote because I do drugs and I believe, like Rush, that only poor drug users should do jail time. Rich people like me should just be left alone to enjoy our privacy.

BTW - I don't do drugs

[drdigi420]

9. not even sugar or caffeine?

are you SURE you dont do any drugs?

alcohol is a drug

caffeine is a drug

nicotine is a drug

sugar is a drug

chocolate is a drug

[screembloodymurder]

6. You're right

this is fun.

"These are troubled times. We need adults in office. Men who have been there (Chickenhawks?), faced the enemy (AWOL?), beaten back the tide of Communist repression (Social Security?) and instilled the values of Capitolism (Enron's?) and Democracy (Patriot Act?) Now we face terrorism (O'Really?) and the fight must be won. May God bless America not G.W. Bush."

[usrbs]

7. because what have the future generations ever done for me...

[GURUving]

15. good one!

ungrateful unborn future generations.

[Z-axis]

11. Correction, If I may...

Terrorism is precisely the fight that must not be won. It is designed as a perpetual state of expenditure for the US economy (not to mention instrument for dismantling what remains of the Constitution). A definite BEST-BUY now that most domestic police departments are saturated with paramilitary equipment and will, in any case, be well-supplied through Homeland Insecurity's continuing invention of phantoms.

As any good Republican knows, the only good weapon is one that has been used or is obsolete and the replacement costs twice as much as the original. Now that's the kind of waste and fraud I can buy into. Much better than the drug war, doncha think?

z-axis

[DrBB]

8. I heard Clinton wants to take away my gun

Plus isn't Dubya Bush president now? So how come Clinton's still trying to take my guns away! This must be stopped.

Hillery's a lesbian.

[Cat Atomic]

10. Because I'm a board member of GE.

War is good for my finances.

Republicans also create cheap labor, both here and abroad. When you're only making $140 million per/year, every penny counts.

[bvar22]

12. I may have been TOO subtle.

Herman Georing @nazi.com

...because everyone knows that this country was founded by White Christian Men, and George Bush is going to take back the country and give it back to the White Christians.

[chemp]

13. my post

As a business owner, I believe the republicans are doing all they can to keep my costs down.
The Republican party will do all they can to lower my payroll costs, reduce my employee health care coverage, and even remove the pesky ovetime I must pay.
I feel that I am capable of regulating the harmful emmissions released from my factories, and since I'm paying to reduce these harmful emmissions, I should be the one who determines what is and isn't harmful.

How else is my company going to grow?

[ldoolin]

14. Haha

This is too fun:

"I am a Repubblican because Hillary is a witch and the bible says to burn witchs.

i am a republican beacuse there is no such thing as globel warming and environmentalists cause forest fires

I am a republican because I think all drug users should be hung, like Rush Limbaugh said on his show once

i am a Republicon becaus social security and medicare is a socialist plot to invade the United states with black helicoptrs from the united nations

god bless the USA and Georg Bush"

[Name removed]

34. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[bobbieinok]

36. ??????????

He sure is doing 'what nobody else would'

and you agree???

note: I think above post is serious

[Kathy in Cambridge]

37. Yes, I think he is

I especially like the comments about Republican websites offering diversity of opinion.

[Mrs. Overall]

39. Why don't we take a POLL and find out

the DIVERSITY of your republican, "open-minded" party and the Democratic party?
Are most MINORITIES republican?
Are most NON-PROTESTANTS republican?
Are most WOMEN republican?

YOU need to look at your party REALISTICALLY.

[uhhuh]

40. Let me condense this for you

IS DOES. I DON'T. MY PAY, I NEVER! SCARES I USED.

HASN'T? I WOULD!
SOMETHING! BUT HOW? SUPPOSEDLY ANYTHING. ONLY ANSWER I KNOW.

SOME THINK. DON'T!!

CLOSE MINDED. NOT ANYONE.
BLINDED.
YOUR? I ONLY!!!

NONE SAD. I DO.
WOULD I ALSO?
REALITY AGAIN IS BELIEVE. REAL? PLEASE!
DOESN'T LISTENS. RANT MUST!

[Mrs. Overall]

41. PERFECT republican POEM! n/t

[ldoolin]

42. Ooh, did I miss the fun?

What's this, did a right winger reply to my post and I miss all the fun?

Darn.

[uhhuh]

43. My post above

Has taken all of the relevant words from the winger's post. Those were the words that they chose to capitalize. I have constructed a little poem from them.( I saved the whole thing, but I think the mods might spank me for reposting it so you can see what they said.)

[leftofthedial]

16. they want money just so you can be listed as an official

Retardlican.

Here's what I said:

Cause them damn LIEberals wouldn't have invaded Iraq, where Saddum was plotting to blow up Amerca from his whole. Because the great Presdint Bush is a VIet Nam evading rich boy who never done a day's work in his life, just like me (except for the rich part). Cause all DemocRATS are lyers and unmurkan traders. 'Cause I would have got a $400 tax check from Presdnt Bush if I had a job, which no one does, but I would of got it anyways.

[Sideways]

17. Shit Howdy I'm A Retardlican 2

Do you like to scratch your crotch in public and eat your ear wax? I think I lurve you.

[linazelle]

18. my response....

I am a republican because I hate blacks, jews, truth, America and the Constitution. I favor corporate interests over the interests of the people of this country. I favor the repeal of laws protecting citizen's privacy. I favor the sale of free press and the propogandization of the news so that the media overlooks the truth when republicans do bad things...but they turn a microscope on democrats' activities thereby preserving republicans' image as the shining beacon of morality and all that is good. Take, for instance, the fact that three more soldiers were killed in our "just" war in Iraq yesterday but it was buried in the news today--hardly a mention...that's what I like.

I like too, the fact that not one of us questions why Bush has taken so long to make good on his promise to conduct a full investigation of 9/11 and why he has appointed his own people to do the investigation and why even with them at the helm, there's stalls from goverment agencies which Bush oversees, and 28-page redactions.
I like that even though it's a contradiction (we are full of them aren't we?) of the very reasons that we continuously give for attacking Iraq. I mean, we killed Uday and Qusay and captured Saddam because of 9/11 and terrorism but then when we try to get real answers about the single most important event this nation has faced in decades, there's silence. I like making martyrs out of 3,000 dead from the WTC but only, I repeat only, if we can keep all the news about the warnings that could have prevented their deaths from being televised.

As a republican, the thing I like most of all is diminshing America's greatness, and the respect of others on the world stage and, as we spread our military resources too thin, I like displaying our weaknesses so that we are targets for more terrorism. Well, there's much more to like, but, I think I've given enough reasons for today. Gotta go now thought, Faux News is raking another evil democrat over the coals and CNN is interviewing a military expert who's explaining why must attack another country.

[fla nocount]

19. "Because my momma dropped me on my head................

when I was a baby, then didn't love me enough to pick me up."

[Donkeyboy75]

20. Because I ate beef from the Pacific Northwest

eom

[meow2u3]

21. Life begins at conception and ends at birth

I swore on the Bible to protect the unborn until the moment I'd drop the baby after he or she's born because life begins at conception and ends at birth.

[flaminbats]

22. Why I am running, by Blake Ashby..a Republican for President.

"These used to be the core values of our party -- and the well spring of economic growth. We saw this not just as good fiscal policy but as a moral obligation, an act of stewardship. This ensured the excesses of one generation would not be visited on the next. Yet this administration has abandoned these economic values for short-term political gain.

I am running because the extreme social conservatives are taking over this party-and it is time for freedom-loving moderates to take it back.

The Republican Party was born into the cause of individual liberty, and with my commitment to economic freedom, constitutional rights and limited government, I am prepared to challenge this administration’s intrusive, heavy-handed approach to the challenges facing our great nation."

http://www.ashby2004.com/why.htm

[EstimatedProphet]

23. Good for you, Blake!

I'm gladdened by the fact that there are some in the Republican Party that will publicly stand up and say that what's going on is wrong.

[EstimatedProphet]

24. My post

"I am a Republican because I like all the macho talk of the right wing. I am secretly afraid that my penis is too small to pleasure a woman, and I like to act tough and manly so that everyone will be impressed."

It's hard to believe this site is for real, but these days...
Yeech.

[Woodstock]

26. Republican values: lie, cheat, steal

destroy, blasphemy, bigotry, hatred, deception, disrespect, lust for money and power, greed, dishonor, con, swindle, ...

[Athletic Grrl]

27. How do you read the responses?

Anyone?

I posted as Laura Bush and told them I am a Republican because my husband gave me no choice in the matter.

[DiverDave]

28. PICK ME!!!

What I wrote.

I should be a lock.

I am a Republican because I think the constitution is outdated.
I think that the country should do away with the Legislative branch and just allow the special interest
lobbyists to write new laws without wasting money on bribes.
I also don't like the Bill of Rights, another outdated document.
I want all of the earths resources for us, since we will use them.
I am impressed with the republican stand on the environment.
Since my kids don't really need clean air, water, or unspoiled wilderness.
I am a republican because I am white and deserve all the spoils, so the Republican stance on affirmative action is just what I believe.
And I really like not spending money on education, because only rich white people deserve to get a degree. I know the tax cuts will benefit me when I hit that lotto jackpot.

[ComerPerro]

29. I have a feeling many rethugs will agree with this letter :

I sent this in:

I am a Republican because I am not afraid to do what is right for our nation. I will do whatever I can, whenever I am needed. Of course, I wouldn't serve in Iraq, but that isn't because I am a coward. Its because I have more important things to do.
I support our President, and I will support him no matter how many of those dirty communist hippies try to stop me. I would even consider taking matters into my own hands if Bush were to lose in 2004. I will do whatever it takes to protect Bush. Oh, and America too, I guess. But mainly Bush.

And just like our great leader, I am not afraid to make difficult decisions that are ultimately for the best. Just as Bush was not afraid to let the attacks of 9/11 happen, I would not be afraid to support the mass confinement and execution of liberals, muslims, homosexuals; and any other dangerous, non-Christian minorites.
I believe that anyone who doesn't support Bush does not support America, and I believe that they should be dealt with appropriately. Just like in the glorious days of the third Reich in the 1930s, to become the great nation we truly deserve to be, we must weed out all dissenters and objectors, in order to form a better, more pure nation.
Thank you.

[mst3k]

30. Oooh, too much fun!

My reason: I'm a Republican cause my daddy told me to vot Republican. And my church would burn me alive if I ever voted anything else. And gays are the spawn of Satan. I just wouldn't be able to vote Democrat ever. Plus I have bladder control problems, so I blend right in with all the elderly people in the party.

I gave my name as Jorge Shub and my address:
1800 Progress Ave., Libhrul, NY 10000

[Rex]

31. The bugman's quotation

Because those dam liberls are worse than the brown cockroaches I used to kill with my DDT tanks. They are dirty little vermin that breed behind the walls of liberty. Thank God for the Patriot Act 1 & 2. In time we will exterminate them all and replace them with white, heterosexual christans, as Jesus commanded.

God bless the USA,

Tom Delay

[goforit]

32. LOL!!!............Nothing like a good joke!

:bounce:

[guitar man]

33. My reasons

I vote Republican because the working class peasants need to know their place,which is to serve us.If they can't steal their way up,er...I mean...pull themselves up by their bootstraps,it's not our fault.We need to bust all their evil unions and abolish minimum wage so the truly deserving among us,the corporate executives,can have their much needed salary increases.

I gave my name as Barney Fife of Mayberry.

[dawgman]

35. I wonder if they will use any of our replies.....

can see a list of replies so far I wonder?

[Cronus Protagonist]

38. You might be a Republican if...

http://cronus.com/quiz

# ...you believe Bush’s tax cuts, a larger government, spending billions of dollars in wars and nation building have nothing to do with the deficit

# ...you believe that lying about sex is impeachable, but it is a fine thing to lie about the reasons American boys and girls are dying and being dismembered in an illegal war

# ...you believe spending money to build schools in America is a waste, but you support spending money to build schools in Iraq and Afghanistan

# ...you believe spending $40 billion a year for the Department of Education is too much, but spending $87 billion to rebuild the country we just spent billions of dollars bombing is good foreign policy

more...

http://cronus.com/quiz

"Lick Bush" Buttons, Stickers & Magnets

[foreigncorrespondent]

44. This is fun.

Here's mine:

Name: Adolf Hitler
Address: 66 Six street Hell 666
Phone #: [phone]
Email: [e-mail]

Comment:

Because the republican party is a party that follows so closely to my own interests.

[pdx_prog]

45. The number 1 reason for voting Republican..........

CLINTON'S PENIS

[banana republican]

46. Because

They can't make it as a Nazi????