Are There Any People Out There who do not want to have children?

[La Lioness Priyanka]

whenever i say this people say that it will change when i grow older ...but people have been saying that to me since i was 13 ...almost twice that age and i have no desire to have children....am i one of the few?

[skooooo]

1. Me too....am happy without them.

[Dookus]

2. not at all

I'm 42 - no desire.

In fact, when I was younger, I thought I wanted 'em. the older I got, the more convinced I was that I didn't.

[XanaDUer]

3. Me.

Like kids, never wanted my own.

[arcane1]

4. count me in!

heck that was a major trouble-spot for me in more than one relationship!

[La Lioness Priyanka]

8. if my wife dumps me

i am move west :)

[arcane1]

14. hehe

I will nonetheless hope she does not. Those perfect matching smiles go well together

does she want kids? :shrug:

[La Lioness Priyanka]

23. nope

[arcane1]

24. well in that case...

bring her too! I've known too many baby-obsessed women :)

[Skittles]

5. there are plenty of people who don't want children

sadly, a lot of them cave in to pressure from parents and society. It accounts for a lot of child abuse.

[Van Helsing]

6. I don't ever want children...

I can't stand them.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

22. i like them

i just dont want to give birth to them

[HornBuckler]

7. Count Me In

"Gimme A Number 2 - Hold The Little Bastards"

[GOPisEvil]

9. I'm ambivalent. Leaning toward not wanting children.

That might change at some point, but I doubt it.

[toddzilla]

10. i'm too screwed up..

no way in hell.

[Snow]

11. It's okay, really - one of my sisters is mid-40's, happily unmarried

& childless, loves doing the aunt thing. Just wish people would be willing to admit to this. Nothing wrong with it at all.

[ikojo]

12. I have never wanted children.

I was not one of those girls who spent her teen years pining about her wedding and children.

I was once on a list for people who did not want to have kids and I think there were at least 500 people on the list. One of the canards hurled at those who don't want kids is that they are selfish. HUH! Many people I know who have never wanted nor had children are very involved in making the lives of kids who are here NOW better.

[ScreamingMeemie]

17. Neither was I...and then came baby one...a Justice of the Peace

wedding a couple of years later...and then baby number 2 a few years after that. Funny how things work out. I just brought it up because not all of us parents even figured we would ever be parents. I was going to be Ms. Hotshot Somebody. Now I am. To Nicole and James. :)

I respect all in their decisions.

[stellanoir]

29. I've always been of the belief that fundamentally. . .

There are breeders, non breeders, and those on the fence deciding whether or not to breed. It's just a horror show when folks pretend to be something they're not and hook up with those from a different camp.

The urge to reproduce, in light of the state of the world, is not an intellectual or financial decision. On that level, it makes no sense whatsoever. It is a emotional and biological decision.

Now that my son is too big to easily carry. I lament not having more. He is the most challenging and rewarding effort to which I've ever devoted my energy.

I often think parenting books, (none of which I've ever read) should warn of the moment when you can no longer pick up your child but they instead hurl you over their shoulder onto their bed and take enormous pleasure in it. Tres bizarre.

[Canuckistanian]

13. You've got a tough struggle in front of you

I saw a documentary on couples who choose not to have children and they go through Hell sometimes. Not just from friends and relatives but some people actually got very hostile.
It's amazing how much pressure our society puts on us to procreate, like it's a duty.

[arcane1]

18. I would submit that it's a duty NOT to have them

we are already at pretty much unsustainable levels as it is. How many BILLIONS of people should there be in the world??

I'm a 0 pg guy, myself. In fact overpopulation could be humanity's #1 problem

[Canuckistanian]

28. I so totally agree

But try to convince anyone. Won't happen.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

27. yeah but we are gay

we go through random hell anyway

[Canuckistanian]

31. True. I've heard the horror stories.

[dawn]

40. Well, I'd have a tougher struggle if I had a kid right now.

I have no medical insurance, only work a part-time job while my hubby is holding on to his f/t one. There's no way we could afford to have children in the forseeable future.

[izzie]

15. Me but I had alot of them

Visits are nice

[AliceWonderland]

16. Not me, never wanted children

The feeling only gets stronger as I get older.

[Mick Knox]

19. I dont want to have children.. but its too late.

[pmbryant]

20. Never particularly had the desire for kids

Neither does my partner of many years, though for her it was an agonizing decision for a while. Now, in retrospect, it seems quite clear to her that she never wanted kids at all. She has very little tolerance for them.

--Peter

[James T. Kirk]

21. I want kids!

My wife and I are expecting. The baby will be born in October!

Having kids and raising them right will make the world a better place.

Wait until you get in your thirties. It may hit you then. When I was your age, I was more obsessed with work and fun and video games, but having kids now seems like the coolest thing!

[arcane1]

30. can't say that worked for me

being in my 30's just made me want them less

I can understand the appeal, but I'm not interested personally. I say lets feed the kids we already have first

nothing wrong with having them, don't get me wrong, it's just not for me

and yes, having wanted kids, snd raising them right will indeed make the world a better place

[Semi_subversive]

25. Kids. They're not for everyone.

And the choice is yours. Don't buckle to pressure from others. I didn't like them when I got married. My wife is a day care provider and she had this neat kid named Joshua who turned me around. Now mine are 21, 16 and 12 and I wouldn't have it any other way.

[Qutzupalotl]

26. World's crowded enough as it is.

Besides, the wife has massive student loans. :)

Funny story: walking down the street in Cancun holding hands with her, and someone asks how long we've been married. "Six years," we say (it's now 12).

"Any kids?"

"No."

"Well, keep trying!"

:wtf:

[Scout]

32. child free by choice here!

neither I nor my husband want children.

We have plenty of nieces and nephews, great nieces and great nephews, and cousins ... we occasionally do stuff with them.

I realized quite early, while doing all that babysitting as a teen, that I had no desire to wipe butts and noses for anyone, 24/7. I have neither the desire nor the temperament for parenting.

I'm 44 years old, and have felt this way since I was a teenager. Some people probably do change their minds as they age, but that does not mean that all will. Parenting well and responsibly is too important for someone to take on lightly (as too many people seem to do), and it is not something a person should be pressured into doing. It should, ideally, be a well thought out decision, made freely.

[BattyDem]

33. I don't want them

Never did. I have three nieces and two nephews ... I love them, but I also love the fact that I can just walk away when they get to be "too much"

I'm very happy with my dog. He never talks back to me and I don't have to put him through college! :P

[matcom]

34. Yup. Not for me thanks

too selfish

[smirkymonkey]

35. I don't....and I felt the same way you

did at your age, and everyone told me just wait until I got a little older...blah, blah, blah. Well, I am now 39 and the biological clock thing never did kick in, and I can't tell you how happy I am that I never gave into the pressure.

I have a nephew and two nieces and I love them to pieces, but still do not want one of my own. I know my limitations, and while I adore my sibling's kids, I am so convinced that I am not cut out to be a parent. Also, like you, I live in NYC and there are plenty of people my age and older who are single, childless and happy.

Besides, this world is becoming a pretty scary place and even if I did want kids, I would have serious reservations about bringing a child into the world these days (not that other people shouldn't, but it's not for me.)

[hyphenate]

36. My children

are ALL four legged and furry. The two legged, screaming, bald little brats are not on my agenda either.

[pansypoo53219]

37. stick to your guns

if you have no desire. i ain't breeding. i stick to cats.
i know in my heart that if i did have a baby, i would abuse it. crying babies make me insane.
just 37 and i STILL don't want any.
although my art is my babies.

[tjwash]

38. Never been happier.

Bugs me when people ask how many kids my wife and I have, and when I say none, they always look at me like I just announced I have an incurable disease or something...

[dawn]

39. Raises hand.

I love kids, but I don't really think I want any of my own. And I am 32, and I still don't hear any clock ticking.

[laruemtt]

41. am 51 and am thankful i never had any.

had dh's daughter with us for 4 years and she takes off for college in aug. can't wait to be alone again!

[MediumBrownDog]

42. Sometimes your views change in unexpected ways

Never wanted kids. Never "tried," my husband and I traveled all over the world and did everything we wanted to do, with the tacit understanding that kids would cramp our style. I watched all of my law school friends (most of whom put off kids for careers) go through fertility treatments, but never felt any urge to do so at all. Now, suddenly, I find myself pregnant at 40. It just happened. SURPRISE!!! And, another surprise, I'm utterly at peace with it and my husband is doing back handsprings.

So it all depends on where you are in your life. And you just can't know until you get there. When I was in my 20's I would have sworn, vehemently, that I'd never have kids, EVER. And perhaps you won't. I certainly wouldn't let people pressure me -- my husband and I went through a decade of that crap, and we had a top 10 list of responses to the rude inquiry "No kids yet?" The one that always stops them cold is "Nope, no kids. We can't stand 'em." There is no response to that. Other favorites were "Nope, 'cause they don't fit in a carry-on forever" and "Nope. We have issues." No one ever has the nerve to ask what the "issues" are.

[laruemtt]

45. congrats, MBD! the child

and the world are fortunate you and your hubby are its parents!

[Ilsa]

43. My sister decided not to have kids.

I don't think she's regretted it. It's not for everybody. It's the hardest job I've ever had.

[swag]

44. no kids here

I'm sterilized, she's sterilized, cat's sterilized.

We're awash in money.

And guns, I guess.

http://contribute.johnkerry.com

[Deja Q]

46. No.

I am not psychologically suited for the task.

I have other reasons, but some would find them offensive. (let's just say I will not be responsible for creating a child on this world.)

[La Lioness Priyanka]

49. cos you're gay?

[achtung_circus]

47. No regrets.

I maintain that kids are for people who can't have animals.

Now that I'm in the midst of a divorce I seriously happy that there aren't child issues to screw things up even more. Plus I can borrow nephews and neices.

[SW FL Dem]

77. I have a kid and animals too

Our household includes mom, dad, a 16 yr old cat, 13 yr old kid, 7 yr old dog, 6 yr old dog and 4 yr old dog.

[fishnfla]

48. All I can say is: You'll never know what you're missing.

I love all kids, especially our 3. Its spring break here and we just had 11 kids from our neighborhood in , out, and around here, all day. Ages 12 down to six. Our house is kids central for the neighborhood. Bikes,bugs,ball games, popsicles, swings,pets, the whole nine yards

Probably the best part of the day was the 2 boxer turtles the boys found in the woods, we built a big pen for them & etc. The turtles made themselves right at home by starting to mate (thats one thing about having kids, even as an adult you can have wide-eyed moments of encountering something new, every day. Even I was like, OMFG! thats how they do it!) Oh my god the questions! All I could tell them was one was a girl (Marissa! they yelled) and one was a boy(Tommy!). The kids took care of the rest by determining that they were having a "turtle olympics" where they came up with that I've no idea, but I let it stand at that. All i can tell you is Tommy gets the Gold Metal for determination.

With kids around, I can guarantee you, your life is NEVER boring. I realize it aint for everyone, but I abhor boredom, myself.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

56. i hate boredom too

and i think life w,kids is very boring

[Name removed]

62. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

63. WHAT?

my parents love me to bits especially my father...my not wanting children has nothing to do with their love for me...

[Snow]

67. Whoosh!

Yes, I'm glad you editted that. It's still okay that you don't want kids; it doesn't make you less of a fine person. But there's that attitude even someplace like here.

[Name removed]

68. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[Snow]

75. I really think you should retract that, pal

Do you realize you just compared her to baby-killers simply because she doesn't want to be a mommy? And if that was deliberate, do you truly feel people who wish to remain childless are immature, insecure, and of the same ilk as soldiers who are willing to engage in slaughtering children? Is that truly what you mean to say?

on edit: ooops - he passed the edit time.

[Name removed]

64. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[dawn]

66. Are you serious?

That has nothing to do with a person's desire to have children.

Also, one can love children without wanting any of their own. I love spending time with my niece, as well as my best friend's kids, but I like going home to a quiet apartment.

[chicaloca]

73. ????????????????????????????????????

:wow:

Someone tell me that I just hallucinated.

[REP]

81. I Got a BINGO!

http://cfpersonals.com/bingo/index.php

I just knew that someone would spew this bullshit in this thread! Too bad your parents didn't teach you better manners.

[Blue_Tires]

50. 27 y/o male

no intentions, either...(driving my parents and grandparents crazy)

[chicaloca]

51. Grrr!!! I get that same damn reaction from people, too!!

And it sounds like I'm about your age. I still haven't changed my mind about not getting married, either. It's not that I don't think I'll meet anyone I'd like to marry -- I just think marriage is an inherently oppressive institution, as well as discriminatory toward people who _can't_ get married, whether because they haven't met someone or they don't like the "right" gender.

I've always wondered whether guys get so much flack when they say they don't want to have kids? I mean, I have gotten some _really_ vehement reactions from people when I tell them I don't want kids, and I've noticed that my brother doesn't get that as much. (His opinion is basically the same as mine.) Everyone feels the need to point out that my biological clock probably hasn't started ticking yet....Um, yeah, and it probably never will. :eyes:

[laruemtt]

53. my other child-free sister has told me

to just tell rude questioners the following: the gingo ate my babies! and that will shut them up. it does.

[chicaloca]

54. LOL! Thanks for the tip! :) n/t

[vajraroshana]

52. 39 today and i don't want children

my lover has a grown child who has children. they're my "grandkids" and that's enough for me. i do love those kids.

[Count Dracula]

55. The Count wants nothing to do with children.

[curse10]

57. Meeeee!

Children are stinky!

[southerngirlwriter]

58. I may adopt a teenager -- one who's stuck in foster care.

But have children? No way.

I like my freedom, my lack of responsibility for other human beings, my autonomy, and my privacy.

Am I selfish?

Yep.

[camero]

59. Me but for a different reason

I may not be alive long enough to see them grow up. Things could change though.

[mike_c]

60. my wife never wanted children....

Nor did I, for that matter, but my partner at the time did, and I was young and dumb. She and I had a lovely daughter when I was in my early twenties (her mother is not my present partner), followed immediately by a vasectomy. So my present wife is childless by choice, and I had one child nearly twenty-five years ago.

[Bertha Venation]

61. I have never, ever once wanted a child.

Never.

[bigwillq]

65. I don't think I want kids

But that may change in a few years, I can't say at this point. I don 't think I 'm ready for kids yet. My b/f has a daughter and custody of his nephew so that's kind a like having two kids of my own. I do a lot for them, put them to bed, help with homework, pick them up/drop off at school when needed.

It makes me want to have kids of my own and it makes me never want to have kids. I get the best of both worlds cause when I want to deal with them I do and when i don't ....

[SarahB]

69. I have kids, always wanted kids, and just wanted to say...

They're a lot of work and sacrifice :crazy: and kudos to everyone who knows what they want and not caving into societal pressure. We all have to do what's best for us, as individuals, in life. Personal reproductive choices are just that. I just don't get why people pressure people into having children. :shrug:

[chaska]

70. The surest things can change.

I felt as you until just the last couple of years. I'm 46 (and male) and now I finally want children.

Example 2:
I had a girlfriend when I was 42 (she was 21), she swore she'd never have children (long before we started dating - it wasn't that she just didn't want children with me). She dumped me for another after about 9 months, married him 6 months later, and now she has a 2-3 year old. Looking back I can see that she was dying to have a child. She just wouldn't admit it to herself. She had a two year old niece while we were together that she was crazy about. She wanted what her sister had: the hubby, the child, the house, etc. Alas, she did not want me.

Oh well, onward and upward.

[alarimer]

71. Probably more than you think

I am one. I have felt that way since I was a kid. No kids for me. I am 35 now. Old enough presumably to know my own mind. I doubt that I will ever marry since every guy I meet seems to want them or already have them and I don't want to date anyone with kids.

But you are not alone. You may or may not change your mind; people do. But it is up to you ulimately- don't let anyone change it for you.

[Bride of Cthulhu]

72. I have never wanted children.

By time I was 18 I knew I had no maternal instincts, at least with regards to human children. On the other hand cats, rabbits, Guinea pigs etc. I love as if they were my children

[chicaloca]

74. Oooh, guinea pigs and cats! And rabbits!

Soooooo much cuter than kids! (No offense to the parents here, of course...Just MHO.)

BTW, I love your screen name!

[SW FL Dem]

76. I didn't until I hit 30.

I have friends who decided to never have kids. Some are happy with that decision, some regret it. You have to do what is right for you.

I now have a 13 yr old son who is the love of my life. I can't imagine my life without him. It hasn't been easy, but, for me being a mom has been my greatest accomplishment.

[Red State Rebel]

78. Mom and Stepmom...

While there are those who may not want children, I cannot begin to sing the praises of being a parent. My husband and I have 4 children together and I count all 4 as mine.

To me, the most cherished thing about being a parent is realizing the total, complete pure love that you had no idea existed until you had a child. I've been in love before and I love my other family members, but the love you find inside yourself when you have a child is just something totally different. I've heard other parents say the same thing.

Knowing what it's like to be choked with tears of joy while sitting in the rocker at 2 AM while your newborn nurses at your breast in the moonlight. For the first year, I was moved to tears just watching my daughter sleep. That soft sweet innocence - knowing that they are completely dependent upon you for every need is overwhelming.

I also don't think you really appreciate your parents until you have had a child. I never thought more of my mother than I did in the first months of my daughters life. Knowing she did the same things I was doing and how much that involved, how exhausting it could be and how much she must have loved me too.

[Kat45]

79. I never wanted kids; still don't

And I'm in my forties. Unfortunately, that has screwed up relationships (or potential relationships) at times because it's just my luck to meet guys who definitely want kids. Bummer.

[Ladyhawk]

80. My mother says people who don't want children are selfish.

She also says that George W. Bush is a good president. :)

I've never wanted children, although I think my hormones do. Also, I'm not physically and emotionally healthy enough to care for myself, let alone a child. It would be extremely irresponsible for me to have one.

[pmbryant]

84. My take on the 'selfish' canard

If you don't want children and you don't have children, that is indeed selfish, I suppose.

Then again, if you want children and you do have children, that is also selfish.

A truly unselfish act would be to have children when you don't want them, or to not have them when you do want them. But I don't think either of those cases are good for society at large, especially the former.

I've never had the 'selfish' comment directed at me for not having kids, but my partner has, and I am quite sick of it.

--Peter

[REP]

82. I'm One of the 44% of US Women Without Children

I've never had a single doubt - motherhood is not for me. I'm happily sterilized and childfree for ever!

[FDRrocks]

83. I wouldn't bring a child into this world

With all the problems we have at this point in time that can only get worse. Esp. considering the environment and overcrowding. I don't have the urge, neither does my SO, so we will probably not, ortho tri willing.

[NMDemDist2]

85. I've never had children and at 49 it's no longer an option

but other than an occasional pang of "what if" i don't regret the decision a bit and I said from a young age that I'd never have kids and voila! self fulfilling prophecy

[Missy Vixen]

86. At 43, my biological clock is broken

I joked with my high school friends that when we got together for the 20th reunion, they'd have kids in junior high and I would be fertilizing the last available egg. I think I knew even then that I had no interest in having children of my own. It was a revelation to me to discover that no, I didn't have to if I didn't want to.

I am grateful every day of my life for the childfree (in those days, they'd be called "childless",) mentors that I have been fortunate enough to know. I am also thankful that we chose the road less traveled, and did what works for my husband and I instead of taking on the 2.2 kids, station wagon, massive financial, physical and emotional debt lifestyle.

We're happy to have a great relationship with our friends' kids. We do extensive volunteer work as well, and financially support organizations who work with abused and unwanted kids. (If you'd like to check one of them out, go to www.treehouse4kids.org.) Our lives are full and happy. I have no regrets whatsoever.

Julie

[huellewig]

87. I'm afraid kids would ruin my sex life..

I have also been taking care of my sisters three kids for the last year. I have had enough. She has spread our genes enough. When she gets back I will have done my share of parenting. Hmmm. finding a girl that doesn't want kids could be interesting. I could just get fixed now and claim one of us has broken parts.

[JaySherman]

88. I go back and forth on it.

I'd love to have a child to teach and impart what I've learned to, especially a son (A little chauvanistic, I know. Sorry). Someone to leave a legacy with. But at the same time I'm not sure I want to bring a child into this world as it currently is. I've often considered adopting instead of fathering a child. Help someone out who's already here, rather bringing another human being into this overcrowded, impoverished, violent world. If I do decide to, definitely not more than one or two either way.

Of course, there is also the little matter of whether or not I'm willing to give my valued freedom for the responsibility of child-rearing. At 26, it's no contest. Not until I'm at least 30.

[Zorra]

89. I love my children.

Ya'll can be their aunts and uncles if you want.

[Brewman_Jax]

90. Not me

2 summers of being a day camp counselor in high school changed my mind. That, and being in the Navy during my best domestication years, my chance didn't happen. Didn't seek it out, either. Being out to sea on average of 6 months out of the year is not good for a relationship.

Now that I'm just in the 40+ age group, I've never regretted not becoming a parent.

As others have noted, the cool people who would probably be good parents aren't, and the people who shouldn't be parents (including freepers, neo-cons, pseudo-libs, and that ilk) are parents. Who says that life is fair? :shrug: