Jesus loves you BUT

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

I can't stand your hairy ass ! :evilgrin:

[greatauntoftriplets]

1. Jesus loves you,

This I know.
'Cause the Bible tells me so.
He will wash me clean as snow,
What a dirty job for Jesus!

[liberalmuse]

2. Now that's more like it!

Although...I don't have a hairy ass, but there is a horse next door to me.

[ScreamingMeemie]

3. but can you stand okra????

:evilgrin:

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

6. Yes I love slimy things

I thought that went without saying

[ForrestGump]

4. What if we promise to shave?

Wax?

Electrolysis?

[KG]

5. "Jesus Loves Me (But He Can't Stand You)"

Austin Lounge Lizards http://www.austinlizards.com/home.html




"Jesus Loves Me (But He Can't Stand You)"

I know you smoke, I know you drink that brew
I just can't abide a sinner like you
God can't either, that's why I know it to be true that
Jesus loves me--but he can't stand you

I'm going to heaven, boys, when I die
'Cause I've crossed every "t" and I've dotted every "i'
My preacher tell me that I'm God's kind of guy; that's why
Jesus loves me--but you're gonna fry

God loves all his children, by gum
That don't mean he won't incinerate some
Can't you feel those hot flames licking you
Woo woo woo

I'm raising my kids in a righteous way
So don't be sending your kids over to my house to play
Yours'll grow up stoned, left-leaning, and gay; I know
Jesus told me on the phone today

Jesus loves me, this I know
And he told me where you're gonna go
There's lots of room for your kind down below
Whoa whoa whoa

Jesus loves me but he can't stand you . . .

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

7. Hehe one of my all time favorite tunes from the bible belt here:

God May Forgive You

You say that you're born again
Cleansed of your former sins
You want me to say I'll forgive and forget
But you've done too much to me,
Don't you be touchin' me
Go back and touch all those women you met.


God May Forgive You (But I Won't)
Yes, Jesus loves you, but I don't.
They don't have to live with you,
Neither do I.
You say that you're born again
Well, so am I
God May Forgive You (But I Won't)
I won't even try




The kids used to cry for you,
I had to try to do
Things that a dad should do,3/4
Since you were gone.
You really let us down
You may be heaven-bound
But you made one hell of a mess
Here at home.

God May Forgive You (But I Won't)
Yes, Jesus loves you, but I don't.
They don't have to live with you,
Neither do I.
You say that you're born again
Well, so am I
God May Forgive You (But I Won't)
I won't even try

[SOteric]

8. Jesus?

You mean my neighbour's Honduran gardner? I *thought* the petunias near my dressing room looked a little trampled.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

9. Bonus question for musicians..know what God's favorite chord is?

G-sus