RNC Convention Schedule

[Loonman]

2004 RNC Convention Official Program

6:00pm - Pop-Tarts and prayers with Pat Robertson
6:10pm - Wet Bar opens
6:30pm - Sean Hannity speech on how liberalism leads to cancer
6:40pm - Goose-stepping lessons
7:00pm - Tribute theme to Saudi Arabia
7:10pm - Collect offerings for Linda Tripp Leech Fund
7:25pm - Tribute theme to Nazi Germany.
7:45pm - Pro-war rally (Moderated by Ann Coulter)
8:25pm - Limbaugh offers tips on chopping and snorting OxyContin
8:30pm - Gay bashing worksop
9:00pm - Marriage ceremony (Newt Gingrich marries Rush Limbaugh)

9:30pm - * Intermission *

10:00pm - Posting the Nazi Banner by Sean Hannity and Ann Coulter
10:10pm - Re-enactment of Bush's college days projectile vomiting
10:20pm - Cameo by Michael Savage berating his own Jewishnness
10:30pm - Crucifixion demonstration
10:40pm - Ashcroft sings "One toke over the line, Sweet Jesus"
10:50pm - Book burning
11:15pm - Maximizing Corporate Welfare workshop.
11:30pm - "Seig-Heil" response practice
12:00pm - Deification of George W Bush ceremony complete with animal sacrifice and blood drinking

[ewagner]

1. You forgot

the Snake Handling Classes....and I think there will be more frequent Prayer Breaks behind the cash bar.

[LynneSin]

2. What about "Workshop on how to blame Clinton's Penis for anything"

:bounce:

[BurtWorm]

3. I can't tell if this is a joke or not.

;) It's too realistic!

[DinahMoeHum]

4. Where's the workshop for speaking in tongues ?

Bwahahahaaa!!!

:evilgrin:

[LynneSin]

5. Here's a picture from their pro-war rally

(geez, I'll find any excuse to post this picture)

[LynneSin]

6. You also forgot: Using the Dead-Politicizing the 9/11 tragedy for votes

I mean, that's the whole purpose of moving their convention to later in the season and having it in NYC

[Ilsa]

7. Seminar on "How to Stiff Your GOP Convention Hooker"...

and get away with it. Need an early time for this one. You know how those repressed Rethugs like to hire for the kinky stuff, but are too cheap to wanna pay for it.

Also, "How to get your company to pay for hotel room charges for porno movies" will be included in the seminar.

[tjwash]

8. My version, posted on the other thread also...

2008 GOP Convention Official Program

6:00pm - Raising of the "stars and bars", and cross burning ceremony.
6:10pm - Opening prayers by Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell
6:30pm - Pro-war speech by Dennis Miller, and the obligitory "we will yet find those WMD's" chant by the crowd.
6:40pm - Toast by Helen Chenowith, with an emphasis on why Jews are destroying the world .
7:00pm - Opening theme of "Springtime for Hitler".
7:10pm - Collect offerings for Halliburton, and the oil industry.
7:25pm - Tribute theme to 1930's Germany.
7:45pm - War rally (Moderated by the entire fox news staff)
8:25pm - Helen Chenowith proposes another toast "Damn Jews!".
8:30pm - Workshop on apologizing to China, and kissing N. Koreas ass.
9:00pm - Wife beating contest. Free "beater" t-shirts given to contestants.

9:30pm - * Intermission *

10:00pm - Posting the Aryan Nation flag by Bill Bennett and Robert Dornan.
10:10pm - Re-enactment of Bush stumbling around the national guard in a drunken stupor.
10:20pm - Cameo by Bill Oriely "SHUT UP"
10:30pm - Demonstration on how to blow up abortion clinics, kill doctors, and praise Jesus by the 700 club.
10:40pm - Helen Chenowith proposes another toast. Those damn Jews are STILL destroying the world!
10:50pm - Pledge of allegiance to the NRA.
11:00pm - Multiple husband shooting ceremonies by the wives beaten at 9pm.
11:15pm - Giving all your money to the fortune 500 corporations workshop.
11:30pm - Strom Thurmond remeberance rally.
11:59pm - Helen Chenowith, now staggering drunk proposes another toast, falls down climbing the stairs, and blames it on the Jews.
12:00pm - Pre-programming of Florida and California Diebold machines.

[e-mail]

[AmandaRuth]

9. what about the

The Art of Ignore, or how to further our political agenda presented by Condi with Guest Speaker Rummy

[BurtWorm]

10. "Getting Tough with the Saudis" (pending approval by Prince Bandar)