What Do You Give A Woman Who Husband Died. One Of My Next Door

[DEM FAN]

Neighbors Died Wednesday. I Would Like To Give Her Something For Her
Loss. Any Ideas.

[SoCalDem]

1. After the gaggle of family leaves, pay her a personal visit

and give her a hug.. Tell her you are taking her to lunch ..Just take your cues from her.. She may want to talk.. Sometimes it's hard to talk to family because they are grieving also.. sometimes a friend is easier to talk to :)..

[YellowRubberDuckie]

6. That's a great idea...

But don't forget about her after that. When my dad died, people were around for about a week. We haven't really seen much of his family since he died. Friends scattered, and we were left to ourselves, which, honestly, sucked. Offer to take her out to eat once a week, if she'd like. Just a friendly gesture to include her in something and GET HER OUT OF THE HOUSE. Offer to mow her lawn. Bring over a big pitcher of tea or something, and drink it with her on her porch, and let her talk. Some people do have good support systems, but some don't. She may need an ear from someone she knows won't judge her for feeling crazy or silly. And if you don't know her well enough, bring her a little sappling of a sweet gum tree(beautiful when the leaves change for the fall) or something, and offer to plant it for her so she can have something to watch grow, in honor of the memory of her husband. It kinda says life goes on.
Duckie

[DustMolecule]

2. ehm, mark your calendar for 3-6-12 months from now....

...the 'biggest problem' is that there is a HUGE outpouring of sympathy in the beginning, the WISE ONE knows that after the initial shock there is still a ....long row-to-hoe....and a lot of loneliness. I would suggest inviting her over for a nice evening of friendship - 3 months from now! (or more...) That doesn't mean that you can't express that friendship/connection now as well....just 'remember'.

[BattyDem]

3. When my father died ...

my mother received lots of different things:

- a collection (money) from her co-workers
- a bible (from an organization my father belonged to)
- a couple of fruit baskets
- donations made in my father's name to charities and organizations he supported
- someone gave her a book on how to deal with grief
- a friend gave her an 8x10 picture he had taken of my father - as it turns out, it was the last photo ever taken of him, so it really meant a lot to her
- a copy of a video from a family party (my father was in it a lot, having lots of fun and making jokes)

Also, like the other posts said ... stop by and see her. Several friends and relatives visited my Mom, they took her to lunch/dinner, they spent the day at the mall with her, etc.

And I totally agree ... 3-6 months later is very tough, so make it a point to get together with her for lunch and let her talk about things. :)

[grasswire]

4. a tree?

I always think that planting a tree is a nice thing to do in memorium.

[ET Awful]

5. Care, friendship and attention. . . .

My moms neighbor had this happen, first they made a point of going over at least a couple of times a week and checking on her, then my stepdad started helping her with her lawn, when he was mowing his own lawn, he'd take the extra 20 minutes and do hers as well (my stepdad is a really great guy).

The lady pretty much adopted them after that :)