Bush's Secret Playbook - Maxim Magazine

[russian33]

http://www.maximonline.com/grit/articles/article_5766.html

Funny stuff. There's a whole memo 'by' Dick Cheney, and then this timeline:

Here’s how Operation Dumbo Drop—er, the Dubya reelection campaign—is set to play out.

MAY
- John Ashcroft and Donald Rumsfeld raise funds with a no-holds-barred hot-oil sumo WrestleMania in Marriott Ballroom B.
- W starts publicly referring to Kerry as “Lurch.”

JUNE
- Gays can marry only if they do it with the hetero-friendly flair of the Fab Five.
- Nacho cheese declared the national flavor.
- Those without health insurance get a faith-healing voucher.

JULY
- New era of corporate responsibility ushered in with Skull & Bones Robber Baron Top Hat & Monocle Ball.
- W declares “Hispanitos es mexcellente!”
- Declare “Mission accomplished” in Grenada.
- Give NEA grant for Strongman competition

AUGUST
- Bin Laden captured; deloused.
- Baghdad sold to Disney; work begins on Mysterious Arab Adventure Town.
- Red Dawn made official movie of the United States.

SEPTEMBER
- W promises Americans we will continue to reach for the stars and that a new, shiny Death Star is already under construction.
- Hitler captured!

OCTOBER
- Bush daughters appear on cover of Maxim.
- Presidential stock car featured in motorcade.
- Public beer fountains at last.

NOVEMBER
- Supreme Court taken out for ice cream.
- Terror alert put on high.
- James Baker sent to Supreme Court to collect presidential trophy.
- Miller time!