The one rumor I didn't want started about me happened

[Deja Q]

A temp worker who started 2 months ago and I have gone out for lunch. Totally platonic, she's got a fiance and some children. I'm single and gay. How much better does it get?

Well, some coworkers told management their "concerns".

Management told the temp worker today on an exit interview that we going out to lunch was inappropriate.

She told me later on that day. She did not out me and said it was platonic, friends-only.

Uh, we are friends only. Think "Three's Company" minus one and me being gay but apparently pretending to be straight. :puke: What's the fucking problem? Me having a penis and she not having one? What if I was female? Would everybody start whining and spreading baseless innuendo, in a typically human manner not asking any of us directly?! :grr: :mad: :nuke:

I know of far more things worthy of investigation, except we can't police the policemen...

Wretched sexism.

Wretched "assume he's a hetero out to bust a move and grab your goodies" syndrome.

Argh.

I wish I was straight. The war the militant heteros are instigating against us (anti-marriage, 'doctors' given the ok by government to refuse to treat us... all GLBT people should be beyond livid at republicans, it's as simple as that) is only going to get worse. On the plus side, maybe I know what I was meant for in life. Be a pawn in somebody else's game. Whee.

Edit: Replaced a glib heterophobic term with a more PC and infinitely more accurate term aimed at my traducers...

[Nlighten1]

1. Jealousy.

That whole "don't go out with that person because you work with them" is BS.

[Deja Q]

5. Other people do all the time

Oh well. I'm sure I've terrified the one other person (also a female) who I went out to lunch with. She even said she's got to cop out.

I don't know why they thought I was trying to score.

But if I can't even have a co-worker as a friend in this miserable life because somebody else thinks I'm trying to hitch her to do the iggy-jiggy :eyes: then screw it. I should have been used to the concept that I'm a "loner" by now anyway.

[Taverner]

2. Fack where do you work????

For some reason here guys dating the new female CSR's is considered standard practice...

[GreenPartyVoter]

3. That sucks and I hope it resolves itself in the best way possible

*thanks for the edit* :)

[Deja Q]

6. Sorry (On edit: I edited that message and this one's subject line)

I'm just upset right now.

I should come out at work, but then face manipulation by any possible homophobic staff who'd then spin and twist everything in order to get me sacked. And I know who some of them are. :scared:

I'm damned either way.

(those who say GLBT folk aren't discriminated against should BE a GLBT person for just a month. That'll change their tune...)

[GreenPartyVoter]

8. It's a bad situation, for sure

On the one hand, I'd like to advise you to not come out, just cause I can imagine the crap you'll get if you do. But on the other hand, it can't feel good to be hiding that part of yourself. :(

Maybe, hold off on coming out and just see how the current situation resolves itself?

*hugs*

[dflprincess]

4. That is weird

How is coworkers going out to lunch together inappropriate?

[YellowRubberDuckie]

9. Good lord...

If you don't go out drinking with the people where I work you're not part of the group. And half of everyone, including the married people, are sleeping with each other. It's crazy. I'm sorry you're going through that. It's totally wrong. Girls and Guys can be friends, but some people twist EVERYTHING. Because they know what they'd be doing in that situation.
Duckie

[Deja Q]

10. Dunno. I didn't see any wrongdoing... But if there WAS something,

It's not my right nor my choice to interfere in someone else's relationship, even if there was mutual interest.

If I was hetero and then fell into love or whatever it is that it is called, I would have backed off. She's got somebody, I'm happy for her. I already know my fate.

Thanks to male-kind, it's highly understandable WHY people, especially women, would be concerned. I ought to try to see it from their viewpoint, though I'm still perplexed why nobody bothered to ask me or her directly. That's highly unfair to everybody involved.

[On the Road]

13. That's Really Unbelievable

I have as many female as male friends among co-workers. And I'm a heterosexual man. Never occurred to me that there would even be a problem with it.

[BiggJawn]

7. So, how long they been paying you for lunch hour?

This is bullshit, and they know it, and if you were to call them on it they'd develop Powell-nesia ("I don't recall saying that")real fast.

I'm assuming that you're NOT in pay status when you're at lunch, right?

OK, if not, it's none of their fucking business if you're spending your hour at The Baths or not. And that goes double for your co-workers.

Maybe they're jealous. In fact, I'd bet on it. most the time when coworkers complain to mgt., it's because somebody else had the hots for her and were pissed that your were "bold" enough to ask her out, or they got the hots for you and you ain't givin' them no play 'cause they're plumbed wrong.

I had something similar happen to me a long time ago. Real cute cashier where I worked as a dishwasher. Pizza-faced redneck shift manager had the hots for her, got pissed that the good-natured smiling (and somewhat handsome) biker in the dish room beat his time. He took her aside and told her that her employment prospects "would be harmed" if she went out with me. (so she told me "Sorry, I'm not going out with you" and ignored me from then on... I didn't find out until years later. Years after the mind-fuck from wondering if I said something wrong took real good root...

[Prisoner_Number_Six]

11. Tell 'em to stand in line

and you'll get to them all, first come, first served.

Either that or tell 'em all to mind their own freakin' business...

[mitchum]

12. You did nothing wrong...

and neither did the temp worker.
Christ! it was just lunch between two friends who were working together.
Come out ONLY when and if it is right for you. Your employer does not own you.

[Philosophy]

14. Yeah, I'm trying to score with my female coworker too

I'm totally in love with her but it's not going too well for me so far. We flirt with each other big time every day, but everytime I drop a totally obvious hint about my true feelings for her she just pretends like it never happened. Our entire relationship is built on innuendo - it's really getting kind of weird. We don't really have an official policy against this sort of thing, but our office is a hotbed of gossip, so I think she's just scared we'll caught.

[OffWithTheirHeads]

15. Where the fuck do you work /

Hey, they don't own you! You are NOT chattel. It's just a job. Tell them to fucking get a life and then sue them for herassment. Yes, I spelled that correctly! Her Ass ment. Nobody has a right to tell you who to be attracted to, who to talk to, or who to be friends with. They pay you to perform a specific set of acts that benifit them. That's ALL! They can't tell you how to live, whome to love or what to think...Unless you let them. Tell you what, It's time for you to stop being ashamed of who you are.

I don't know where you live but I wouldn't put up with that shit for more than 30 seconds.

Straight guy in a very queer world.

[davsand]

16. I want to temp with YOUR company!

Oh my--I REALLY want to come and temp with your company, HypnoToad.

First off, temping is just that--TEMP work. I'd probably have a LOT of fun playing with the small minds of anybody who wanted to be THAT intrusive in my life. I can't imagine myself putting up with anyone so intrusive that they dared comment on WHO I ate my lunch with.

I'm thinking we could blow a lot of very small minds with just a few days' lunches. :evilgrin:

Frankly, I'd think they'd be happy as hell that you were nice to a temp anyhow--my experience as a Kelly Girl was that usually you get ignored. In fact, it kind of limits how effective you can be in that job since nobody wants to take time to answer questions.

You are blameless, and you are dead right that it is wrong that males and females are just ASSUMED to be screwing if they aren't fighting each other.

Laura

[nuxvomica]

17. My company has very strict rules about this

Even though I work for a large, conservative corporation, the "coworkers (who) told management their 'concerns'" would be subject to disciplinary action! That's harrassment!