Never trust a southpaw.

[Whitacre D_WI]

They were sent to earth by the DEVIL.

[RandomKoolzip]

1. You mean like Paul McCartney or Marc Riley?

Or Jerry Nolan? Or Dick Dale?

[Whitacre D_WI]

3. And Hendrix.

EVIL, I tell you.

[RandomKoolzip]

4. Right.

Did a lefty kill your parakeet or something? What's with the handism?

[Whitacre D_WI]

5. I do not object to hands.

I object to EVIL.

[RandomKoolzip]

7. Let's sum up.

All left-handed people are evil. Al hates evil. Therefore Al hates left-handed people.

However, Blue Oyster Cult is EVIL. Al likes BOC. Al is cuaght is moral double bind. Ronnie James Dio is EVIL. Al feels ambivilent about the grody little elfin screecher, therefore maybe Al has a point.

[Whitacre D_WI]

18. Not ambivalent about the grody little elfin screecher; conflicted.

Dio with Elf, Rainbow, or Sabbath? Cool!

Dio with Dio? Sucks!

[TN al]

2. My mother is left handed

[Whitacre D_WI]

6. THE HORROR!

:P

[TN al]

11. It does not necessarily refute your original premise

[unblock]

8. bill clinton is a lefty. all 3 major candidates in 1992 were.

[Whitacre D_WI]

19. You know full well that Bill Clinton is a centrist.

DUH.

[Waistdeep]

9. Sinister

Pronunciation: 'si-n&s-t&r, archaic s&-'nis-
Function: adjective
Etymology: Middle English sinistre, from Latin sinistr-, sinister on the left side, unlucky, inauspicious
1 archaic : UNFAVORABLE, UNLUCKY
2 archaic : FRAUDULENT
3 : singularly evil or productive of evil
4 a : of, relating to, or situated to the left or on the left side of something; especially : being or relating to the side of a heraldic shield at the left of the person bearing it b : of ill omen by reason of being on the left
5 : presaging ill fortune or trouble
6 : accompanied by or leading to disaster

[skooooo]

10. It's true..

...we all have the mark of the beast on our brow. It was supposed to be a secret, though. How did you find out?

[Whitacre D_WI]

12. Years of painstaking research.

And the nuns. Dear God, the NUNS!

[GOPFighter]

13. Phf-f-f-f-t-t-t

Yeah, right!

We lefties are the TRUE liberals. All you righties are ashamed to write with the hand of the enemy (the Right), and are secretly jealous of our commitment to the LEFT!

Bwaaahahahahahahah

:evilgrin:

[Whitacre D_WI]

15. You brazen strumpet!

I'll not let you lead me into a life of iniquity and sin!

I bet you're a redhead, too!

[RC]

14. I'm left handed, my parents were left handed, my daughter

is left handed.
We aim to take over.
Left is good. The right is bad. See the present vs the last administration for proof.

[chaska]

16. Okay, stop it you handist!

We left-handed Americans have had all we're gonna take. We demand respect (and left-handed scissors). We've had it with your backwards world, and we SHALL overcome.

Let the breeding program commence.

The line forms to the LEFT.

...darn you.

[Whitacre D_WI]

17. They even want their own SCISSORS now!?

What is this world coming to?

[chaska]

20. Okay, the breeding program doesn't bother you, but the scissors do?

That's fup duck.

[Whitacre D_WI]

25. All those recessive genes will weaken your stock.

[chaska]

28. Sorry I missed this one...

My genes were at recess.

[Endangered Specie]

21. We can't help it if we are smarter and more creative than

you right handed common folk.

You can only be so left when your right handed you know :P.

Dumb rightie.

[RebelOne]

24. Amen to that!!!!

[Whitacre D_WI]

26. Left hand = RIGHT brain.

Southpaws are winguts!

[49jim]

22. I'm left handed..... my

wife is left handed, our oldest son is left-handed and our youngest son eats left handed (does everything else right handed) we all lean left politically.

[RebelOne]

23. Yes, I'm a southpaw and as evil as can be.

[Whitacre D_WI]

27. I have known this for some time now.

You may not be aware, but I have been keeping tabs on you left-handers.

You know, for when the Revolution comes.

[ScreamingMeemie]

29. Oh no!!! Now what do I do with my son???

:(

[Whitacre D_WI]

35. Train it out of him!

;)

[kskiska]

30. I've read where life expectancy is lower for lefties

My mother and sister are lefties. My mother was coerced into using her right hand in school. She could write with both. It must really screw up one's brain to have to constantly use implements designed for righties. Maybe they're more accident-prone.

Here's something on that:
"Left-handed people are almost twice as likely to suffer a serious accident as right-handers, according to a recent study. Stanley Coren, an experimental psychologist at the University of British Columbia in Vancouver, Canada, claims that his finding helps to explain why less than 1 per cent of all 80year-olds are 'southpaws,' whereas they comprise nearly 13 per cent of all people aged 20."

http://www.science-frontiers.com/sf068/sf068b08.htm

[chaska]

31. Consider what it's like for a lefty to use a chainsaw.

They don't make left-handed chainsaws. Chainsaws are dangerous. I once sold firewood for a living. I never was able to get comfortable with a right-handed saw. Consequently, I was much more careful than I would otherwise have been.

Lefties are not more accident prone. This is actually a bit insulting. To the extent this is true at all, it is simply that we live in a right-handed world, that can be dangerous to us (consider the above chainsaw analogy).

There are advantages to this, though. It is often said that lefties are more creative - true? I don't know - but to the extent it is, it sis because of all the adaptive behaviors that we must learn. It makes us versatile and creates in us a proclivity for multiple solutions to problems.

[Donkeyboy75]

39. One of the funniest things I ever saw in an office

was a placard that simply said "Hire the left-handed, it's fun to watch them write." It showed a hapless guy in contortions trying to put pen to paper...much like us lefties have to endure every day.

[Spirochete]

32. Good Point...

I would never trust one myself. :silly:

[LostInAnomie]

33. delete

dupe

[LostInAnomie]

34. Some day...

We lefties will rise up and drive you righties under. Crushing you with the left handed implements you mockingly gave us.

[Whitacre D_WI]

36. Earlier in this thread, one of you lot demanded scissors.

Now you say the scissors mock you.

HA! Division amongst the lefthanders!

[LastKnight]

37. 90 percent of geniuses are left handed...

but 96 percent of people committed to mental institutions are too... so take that for what it is. and there are more people who are insane than there are smart... mind you.

-LK

[kskiska]

42. There's a fine line

between genius and insanity.

Nijinsky comes to mind.

[Donkeyboy75]

38. Them's fighting words.

I'm gonna take you out behind the woodshed and pummel you with my left fist! :mad:

[Whitacre D_WI]

40. But the woodshed is on your left side.

You won't be able to swing! :P

[Donkeyboy75]

41. Ah, the right-handed world conspires against me once again.

[RC]

43. Think about it...

:think: If the wood shed is on your left side, it is on his RIGHT SIDE! He can't swing either.

[Whitacre D_WI]

44. But I can kick him in the nards.

[RC]

45. Ain't you got nothin better to do than

hang out here?

[Whitacre D_WI]

46. Nope.

[RC]

48. OK.

I'll check back in the 'morning.

[Donkeyboy75]

47. He can't swing, anyway. He's a sissy.

I'll just give him a swift kick in the twig and berries, and it will all be over.


:o

[Whitacre D_WI]

51. Stick and stones, thankyouverymuch.

[Donkeyboy75]

52. Names may not hurt,

but a boot in Jim and the twins sure does.

:cry:

[Whitacre D_WI]

53. Yeah, but lefties kick like babies.

[Donkeyboy75]

54. Diego Maradona was a leftie,

and I'm pretty sure you wouldn't like to get nailed in the nuts by him. :P

[Whitacre D_WI]

56. That was the coke.

[Donkeyboy75]

58. Touche.

[MrSlayer]

49. I'm a Lefty and yes I am Devil sent.

Wanna make something of it?

[Whitacre D_WI]

50. Fie! Fie, I say!

I cast you out!

[chaska]

55. I bet Ronnie James Dio is a southpaw.

Are you seriously a fan, Whiteacre? I saw him a few years ago. I thought he had thoroughly become a joke by that point, but man he was freakin' amazing in a small club. The tiny man with the voice of a dragon.

[Whitacre D_WI]

57. I'm a fan of his '70s stuff.

I think he's been a joke for the past 20 years, but I'm sure his voice still kicks; especially in a smaller venue.