Inventors who should be hunted down and beaten: I'd start with

[ohiosmith]

the guy who created the Phillips head screw.

[BOHICA06]

1. Posthole Diggers! nt

[TX-RAT]

21. Damn right

That bastard should go up in flames. We repaired 9 miles of fence when we bought this place.

[northzax]

37. what, you'd prefer to use a shovel?

sure, the post hole digger may, after some use, bear a crude resemblance to a medieval torture device to cruel even for Torquemanda, but it beats the hell out of digging those holes with a shovel.

[TX-RAT]

39. No argument here

[vi5]

2. Oh man.....this weekend I would agree with you...

I was building a railing for my front porch and I ended up stripping so many stinking phillips screw heads that I was ready to throw my drill across my garage and smash it against the wall.

[kmla]

7. That has more to do with the quality of your bit and your drill/driver

than the design of the screwdriver. Engineering wise, it is more efficent than the standard slotted screwdriver - more contact area between the bit and the screw.

*kmla ducks to avoid flying drill/driver*

Now if you hunt down someone, let's get our posse together and get the bastid who invented the car alarm. You know, the one that is set off by a gentle summer breeze, or even a dog fart...

[Ediacara]

22. I prefer hexagonal/Allan screws

They don't strip because the driver isn't pointed like a Philips driver, so it won't slide out and strip the X. I realize, most Allan screws go into constructing Ikea furniture and bicycles, but I really really prefer them to other screws.

[ohiosmith]

26. Robertson (square) are really good as well.

[VelmaD]

41. I've stripped a hexagonal screw...

I used to have one of those little day beds that was held together with hexagonal screws. I eventually had to replace them all (with slot screws) because they got so stripped. I'm thinking they weren't made out of very high quality metal.

[Ediacara]

51. True

A screw is only as good as the metal you make it out of, but IMHO phillips-style drivers strip screws faster because of the pointiness:



No matter how hard you push on the driver, the pointiness will cause it to slide out of the X-shaped notch and strip the sides. Allen/hex drivers don't have pointy ends, so won't slide out:



I really wish more stuff used Allen/hex screws, and of course, I wish all screws were made of quality metal :-)

[DS1]

62. unlikely

The screw was designed for stripping, but not stripping day ~and~ night, if ya catch my drift. :evilgrin:

[benburch]

3. Why?

If you look at the problem it existed to solve, nothing else worked as well.

[ohiosmith]

5. It was developed not to solve a problem, but rather to force us to

buy another screwdriver. Phillips head screws were originally used exclusively by manufacturers and were not sold to the public.

[benburch]

15. The problem it solved.

Was the inability of a slotted-head screw to be repeatedly driven without marring the surrounding material. In a production setting, where screws are being driven over and over, it is very difficult to exercise the amount of care needed to cleanly drive a slotted screw.

The problem with modern Phillips-head screws is that they are being made of metal that is too soft and which strips out. To solve this problem, I drill pilot holes.

The original Phillips screws were, I am told, much harder to strip.

[jmowreader]

68. The ones that are made by Phillips are extremely hard to strip

The only screws I've seen Phillips make are deck screws. They are unbelievably hard.

They are also packaged in the stupidest way--they require a special bit with Phillips' new screwdriver-well style. When you buy a box of screws, you get one bit--no matter how many screws you buy. Freakin' 30-pound bucket of these things comes with one bit.

[Pab Sungenis]

16. No....

The one that was invented to make us buy another screwdriver was the Torx® driver.

[AngryAmish]

31. F Torx I hate those things

Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders.

[Bertha Venation]

4. Blackberry.

My god. Does no one have a life anymore? When did email become a matter of life or death?

[zbdent]

6. Well, if we could track down the originator of the process in this cartoon

(the first person who said "Hey, we could mass mail millions of people at NO COST!")

[bif]

8. The guy who invented the parking meter

Pisses me off.

[BringEmOn]

9. Ron Popiel

Enough infomercials, already!

[Blue-Jay]

42. Ron Popiel is an American icon!

I went to an exhibit of all of his inventions recently in Chicago. Never have I been surrounded by so much campiness and nostalgia at the same time. Sure, most of his stuff is useless crap (GLH hair-in-a-can, the Inside-the-egg-Egg-Scrambler, etc...), but there are true gems there as well. I still have my Pocket Fisherman, and it still works!

[Commendatori]

10. The bastard who created the first popup window.

[THUNDER HANDS]

11. the guy who invented vanella ice cream

Always hogging up the space of chocolate and strawberry in the tri-flavor cartons of Bryers.

mmmmm

[TriadLeftist]

12. No question!

The bastard who invented the little shopping carts at grocery stores that say: "Shopper in Training" - I have had my heels gouged my little darlings enough to where I would like to take those little carts and beat the inventor with them.

[ohiosmith]

14. Speaking of shopping carts, how about the ones for kids to ride in

that look like and are the size of 49 Buicks?

[Zomby Woof]

40. here's a link for you

Been known to rant about 'em myself. ;-)

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=118610

[ohiosmith]

45. Thanks

[geniph]

59. I thought that subject would draw you!

like a fly to honey, or perhaps to ... oh, never mind. ;-)

[ohiosmith]

61. Not just beaten, but pummeled to death, the first idiot who thought

it was so cool to wear his ball cap backward.

[July]

13. Whoever came up with the brightly colored kid toys

that are in every other yard and driveway (a couple of which I bought when my kids were small, I confess). They are so freaking garish. The neighborhood is pretty -- except for those damn toddler cars, slides, castles, etc. I know, I'm a hypocrite. But, damn, they're ugly.

[OneBlueSky]

17. hmm . . . I always thought a Phillips screwdriver was a drink . . .

vodka and milk of magnesia . . .

[BringEmOn]

30. You wouldn't have to beat the $#!+ out of that inventor!

[Canuckistanian]

18. The Pay Toilet inventor

There's a special corner in Hell right beside Sean Hannity reserved for him.

[Whitacre D_WI]

19. Whoever invented the "wah-wah" pedal.

Yeah, it's been put to good use by some people.

But now, every 15-year-old kid gets one and thinks he's Hendrix.

[ProfessorGAC]

23. HIIIIIISSSSSSSS!

That guy is my hero! The wah is an integral part of my tone and i would refuse to live without it! A pox on you for your diminishment of the greatest guitar invention (other than the Boogie, of course).

BTW: I use a Boss PW-10, which has settable Q and sweep, and no moving parts. So, i can really tailor the effet (unlike a Vox or Crybaby) and never get that scratchy thing that some pedals cause.

Now, back to the rant: You will repent for your failure to worship the wah pedal. REPENT!
The Professor

[Whitacre D_WI]

25. Ha!

Wah + Boogie!

The ultimate "rich kid that can't play" rig!

Not that I'm insinuating that you can't play. Good players can make great sounds come out of a wah.

Of course, the Boogie -- there's too many damn knobs. Gimme volume, gain, and tone any day (I suppose a verb/trem channel is also acceptable, if you've got good verb and trem).

[ProfessorGAC]

28. A Double Pox On You

Except for that "kid" thing. I'm no kid, (by a long shot) so i'll take that as a compliment. The rest however, means war! WAR I TELLS YA!

Now, i have to put a Sicilian curse on you. Then we'll see who's laughing!
The Professor

[Whitacre D_WI]

29. As long as you don't kiss me.

"You betrayed me, Fredo."

[ProfessorGAC]

33. Want To Go Fishing With My Assistant, Rocco?

Just wondering.
The Professor

[Whitacre D_WI]

34. Hail Mary, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name.

Oh, by the way -- I can get the same tone out of a cheap-ass Dano EQ.

[ProfessorGAC]

35. If You Say So

I've tried several things in the past, from high tech to low! Different amps, different effects, different pickups. When i bought the Boogie, i got that ultra smooth, but fully saturated sound, and a glassy thin clean tone. (Using a Strat or Tele, although my Ibanez, when the pickups are switched single coil, does a very nice Tele impression.)

Now, i'm guitar/wah/amp.

I do use a digital reverb/delay in the effects loop of the amp, because the amp's reverb wasn't warm enough. (Too brittle.) I set it so the first reflection of the reverb is timed exactly the same as the light echo, so the first note is completely dry, then the slight echo, and the reverb decays from there.

When i play fast, the reverb doesn't wash the notes into mush, but when you hit just one crisp note, the effect creates a little spaciousness that wouldn't be there dry. Very cool!

I've tried all the gimmicks there are, believe me. But, when i got the Boogie, i found the sound i hear in my head. Being able to achieve that is the ultimate to me. No amount of EQing or processing can reproduce that tone. And boy, have i tried!
The Professor

[Whitacre D_WI]

36. Aye! There's the rub!

Your tone centers around the amp (so does mine, but we'll get to that). The wah gives you that little extra boost you need to push you to the next level.

I, on the other hand, play through a Silvertone Twin Twelve (which I love). The reverb and tremolo don't work (which is fine, considering how dreadful those old Danelectro springs sound). In other words, it gives me volume, bass, mid, treble. That's it.

All enhancements for me come through my pedals (which is as I prefer it -- I like the amp to give a nice tube tone, but most on-board effects sound like shit to me).

All this said -- I wasn't talking about judicious use of the wah. I am just diametrically opposed to its use by people who can't even play open chords right. If one learns to play guitar first, THEN one may use a wah. Not before.

[ProfessorGAC]

43. I Don't Think You Know The Boogie

It's a tube amp, with gain, treble, mid, bass, and volume. That's it! Same as your ideal set up.

There are two channels, so there are two completely indepedent channels which can be driven, EQ'd and volume balance.

The wah is not a boost to the tone! It's an expression pedal that i incorporate into the overall sound to nuance the phrasing. For instance, hit the same three notes and use about one-third of the pedal's throw. It's the same three notes, but the coloration of the tone changes so the mood of the riff changes. Same with flattening it, playing a fast run and end on say two quarter notes, with those notes wah'd at two different spots in the pedal. It finishes the run off with a tonal cap, as well as a musical one.

Yes, my sound is rooted in the amp. That's the advantage. The amp is extraordinarily flexible, tone wise, so you can develop your own sound by EQing. Also, the signal chain is such that the tones behave in subtly different ways, depending on the gain level for each channel.

So, while my sound is defined by the amp, it's MY sound. The amp is just a very good vanilla cone, and one can put any coatings or sprinkles on it that one wants. When my guitar player uses it, he'll set it differently, because his idea of the optimal tone is different than mine. One that amp, you can do it just fine.

Boy, did we hijack this thread, or what?
The Professor

[C_eh_N_eh_D_eh]

44. Yes, you did.

And on behalf of all us non-guitar-freaks who have no idea what the hell you guys are talking about, I'd just like to say that if I want a phallic symbol that plays music, there's half a dozen places on Bank Street where I can buy one for $11.95. :P

[ProfessorGAC]

46. My Apologies

And, i'm a musician. I don't use one as a phallic symbol. I care about the music. Sorry if you don't understand the difference as well.
The Professor

[C_eh_N_eh_D_eh]

55. Ah, it's okay.

I was just looking for an excuse to say that.

[Whitacre D_WI]

47. Ah. I was thinking more along the lines of this:

That seems like overkill to me.

[ProfessorGAC]

48. Still The Same Knobs

Just 3 channels. Mine is only two channel. Not as much overkill as you would think. You really ought to try one sometime if your near a music store that has one. Based upon what you said, i think you'd like it, a lot. 'Nuff now. We made at least one person made with this hijack.
The Professor

[MissMillie]

20. the guy you invented panty hose

followed by the one who invented the high-heeled shoe and the underwire bra.

[ohiosmith]

24. Panty hose didn't do anyone any favors. Especially drive-in

make out artists. I not sure which was worst, panty hose or bucket seats.

[tsakshaug]

27. The device

the device that has been implanted in every car I have owned that turns all traffic lights red upon my approach

[drumwolf]

32. my choice: the inventors of blue eye shadow and colored contact lenses.

:puke:

[qb]

38. If not for phillips head screws, I wouldn't get anything done.

I am not coordinated enough to turn a slotted screw with a power screwdriver. The best ones are the deck screws that you can turn with a phillips screwdriver or a square driver.

[Triple H]

49. The people who invented the cell phone...

:grr:

Most. Annoying. Invention. Ever.

[ohiosmith]

50. Other f*cked up inventions: stucco, disposable diapers, Sugar

Frosted Flakes, and Rap music.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

52. How come nobody has mentioned the worst invention of all time?

Leaf blowers

I am normally a peaceful person, but I would be delighted to strangle the inventor with my bare hands.

Leaf blowers are no more efficient than a rake or broom, but their roar penetrates concrete walls and closed windows, and God help you if you actually have to walk past one without ear protection.

[tsakshaug]

53. weekend in suburbia

leafblowers, lawn mowers, dogs barking, car tuneups, kids driving with the bass cranked up, ahhh the peace

[ohiosmith]

54. I hate them too. They are actually less efficient than a rake or broom.

Blowers just redistribute or relocate the leaves and trash.

[Mrs. Venation]

65. I Understand Why People Hate The Noise

but you should understand that some of us have physical conditions, such as arthritis, that make using a rake painful, at best, and sometimes downright impossible.

I don't find them nearly as annoying as loud mufflers on automobiles, off-road vehicles, etc. The sound of a dirt bike is enough to make me temporarily insane!

[geniph]

56. No contest. The cell phone.

I f***ing hate those f***ing things. You can't go to anything anymore without someone's butt going tweedle-deedle-deedle or having to listen to some perfect stranger discuss their marital issues, loudly, in excruciating detail.

I mean, they don't really compare to the invention of gunpowder for sheer destructiveness, but I really, really hate them.

[TahitiNut]

66. The whole world's a phone booth.

If'n I were King, I'd require cellphones to be vibrate-only (with a jockstrap carrying pouch) and then I'd integrate a clapper that disabled them for 30 minutes if any innocent bystander merely clapped their hands. I'd also put a doppler sensor in them that disabled them when moving faster than 2.5 mph. At that point, they MIGHT be a reasonable convenience item.

Lacking the above improvements, I'd settle for a mechanism that just fired a cyanide needle into the brain of the user. :shrug:

[NightTrain]

57. Call waiting.

It's like the person I'm talking to is saying, "You're not important enough to garner my full attention during this call." Well, fuck you!

[NightTrain]

58. The car alarm

They're loud and annoying, always seem to go off late at night, and nobody pays attention to them anyway.

[geniph]

72. I hang up on people who put me on hold during a personal call

I can understand that, in one's place of business, it is sometimes necessary to put the first caller on hold to deal with another call. However, during a social call, I find it inexpressibly, inexcusably rude to have someone say, "Oh wait, I have another call" and actually put me on hold. Well, you know what? I have better things to do than wait for your SECOND caller. :mad:

One of my sisters finally learned not to do that to me if she didn't want to be hung up on. She had a hissy fit about it, but I pointed out that the second caller was what voice mail was invented for, and she could just damn well call them back after we finished our original conversation.

[mac56]

60. Subwoofers for automobile use.

Flame away.

[Bonhomme Richard]

63. Ties, seems like I've worn one every day of my ..............

F*****G life.
I swear that's how I was delivered. The doctor grabbed my tie and yanked me out of the womb.

[Mrs. Venation]

64. The Hold Button

There's a place reserved in the deepest pits of hell for the person who invented this. The space is adjacent to the space for the person who came up with the idea of playing Muzak while on hold.

[Spider Jerusalem]

67. The inventor of television.

Or, perhaps, better yet, given the "Clockwork Orange" treatment and forced to watch three straight weeks of mind-numbingly hideous, lowest-common denominator "reality television" and daytime talk shows.

[guitar man]

69. KARAOKE

I would like to find the inventor of karaoke and strangle,tar and feather,beat mercilessly and then lock them in a lounge full of off-key singers for eternity.

I would like to be able to go for a beer after without having to sit and listen to a bunch of no-talent drunks make asses out of themselves with horrendous off-key bellowing. My God,it's everywhere!

[ohiosmith]

70. .....and blister packs.

[MrSlayer]

71. Why? Phillips is much preferable to slotted.

As a construction worker, I find it much easier to work with phillips because they will stay on your screw tip without having to use a "holding" screwdriver. When you are working on hot panels you'd much rather the convenience of Phillips.


I'd kill the guy who invented that stupid singing fish.