The entire Silmarillion in one thousand words

[starroute]

http://www.livejournal.com/users/camwyn/328358.html

A sample:

VALAR: Oooooh SHINY TREES! Yavanna made shiny trees!
YAVANNA: Yep! Aren't they pretty?
MELKOR: Want shiny.
VALAR: Nope.
MELKOR: Why not?
VALAR: Because you're a jerk.
ELVES: Oh hey, stars. Shiny!
MELKOR: Oh hey, breeding stock.
ELVES: AUGH!
UNGOLIANT: Want shiny.
MELKOR: Let's go get shiny.
FEANOR: I've made more shiny!
VALAR: Good, 'cos Melkor took ours. Can we have yours?
FEANOR: No! MY SHINIES! MINE!
VALAR: Aw, !&*()!@&)!(&.

[neverborn]

1. Best book -ever-

[sybylla]

2. Thanks, I needed that.

After the LOR movies started coming out, we bought the Silmarillion on audio CD. It put me to sleep. The first CD was like the bible with "begats" and "thence to...". I had to shut it off. My SO held out a little longer but I don't think he got past the second CD either. He loved the book but on audio it was awful.

So now you've spared me the trouble of even trying. :toast:

[Wickerman]

4. LOL

similar experience - a few years ago my daughter and I were driving across country. I got a few good audio CD's - The old man dand the Sea, Tortilla Flats, and the the Silmarillion. It was a bad mistake to try to listen to JRR while driving across Kansas and Oklahoma on a hot summer's day... :boring:

[Screaming Lord Byron]

7. It's like the White Pages in Elvish.

[neverborn]

9. WTH?!

That book is like LotR but so much better... how can people not like it :(

[Lars39]

3. hehe. I'm reading that as my "go to sleep" book.

And it really works, too. :boring:

[ZenLefty]

5. I own a first edition copy of that book

It's the excuse I use to never open it or read it, for that could potentially damage an antique relic. :o

[derby378]

6. That's pretty cute

Here's the Silmarillion in five words: Leave them friggin' jewels alone!

[asthmaticeog]

8. Ha!

I finally read that monstrosity last winter, and jeez, is it a snoozer. Great story, but characters' names are so damn similar I kept getting lost.