Caption: Shrub checks cerebral cortex implant for "on" mode

[emad]

[sniffa]

1. this portion of my brain was removed

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

11. He can't even tell the correct side

Language is in the LEFT hemisphere.

[MichaelUK]

2. Bush tries to use his "god-like" powers to influence voters

"You will vote for me"
"So will you"
"Praise the Lord, so will you"

[underpants]

3. I feel some air coming out of my ear I wonder where it is coming from

:bounce:

[emad]

5. Flatulence will get you knowhere...

??

[underpants]

4. There is a whistling noise bouncing around in my head

I wonder where it is coming from

:bounce:

[emad]

7. Yesterday's Steve Bell cartoon?

[wysimdnwyg]

6. So then Mr. Cheney...

Puts this little box on my head. I don't know what it does, but once he puts it on there, all of the sudden, I feel smarter, and I know just what he wants me to say.

[Canuckistanian]

8. Can't.... stop.... the music

Bush rests comfortably after surgery to implant pacemaker in brain

Thanks to a device similar to the one in Vice President Dick Cheney's heart, the nation has healthy, clear-thinking, plain-speaking leaders again.

By Tom McNichol (Salon)
- - - - - - - - - -


July 13, 2001 | WASHINGTON -- In the second White House health scare in little more than a week, doctors Wednesday night implanted a sophisticated pacemaker in President Bush's brain. The device, known as an implantable cranial defibrillator, or ICD, continuously monitors and records the president's brain waves. When Mr. Bush's brain activity becomes dangerously slow for a chief executive, the device delivers a mild electric shock, jolting the president back to a relatively active mental state.

"I feel good," the president told reporters several hours after the operation. Bush then twitched noticeably. "I mean, I feel well," he said.

[Endangered Specie]

9. Hello, God?... Hey man, we still on for a second term... sweet.

[BringEmOn]

10. "Last thing I remember, I was watching football and munching pretzels

When I came to, I saw snakes and spiders crawling all over me...."

[peekaloo]

12. Weeks after his last press conference something finally pops into

his head.

"Damn, I could've had a V-6."

:dunce:

[cosmicdot]

13. W: it'll be great ... an unending assembly line of medical data entry

clerks and wages based on the lowest bid ... we could party like it's 1984 ...