Liam Gallagher 'beaten up by computer geeks'

[Fenris]

http://news.scotsman.com/index.cfm?id=510322004

OASIS lead singer Liam Gallagher was beaten up by a group of estate agents and computer salesmen in a nightclub fracas 17 months ago, not gangsters as was originally claimed, according to Munich police.

They also said Gallagher had been using cocaine and was "totally drunk" when the mêlée broke out in the nightclub, attached to one of the city’s premier hotels.

Now his five attackers are likely to be charged with causing grievous bodily harm in the brawl that cost Gallagher his front teeth and left much of the nightclub furniture reduced to matchwood.

Not that I give a fuck about Liam Gallagher. I just thought this was funny.

[mr_hat]

1. He couldn't sniff Shane McGowan's breath.

[Screaming Lord Byron]

2. 'left much of the nightclub furniture reduced to matchwood'

Did he break his teeth on the furniture? Was he trying to gnaw it, beaver style in order to get a weapon to use against his enemies?

[Fenris]

5. The furniture must have been part of the Oasis entourage.

Nussing vas shpared! Vee crushed zat hack und hees furniture!

[Screaming Lord Byron]

7. I'm always surprised to hear Oasis are still going.

Is there anyone out there who gives a fuck anymore?

[Fenris]

9. Only the bandmates themselves, really.

And even they can't believe they're still performing.

I "imagine" that they still have something of a following in Britain. America has it's own lot of daft rock stars, so it doesn't really pay them any mind. Besides, Liam has been replaced as the king of stupid rock assholes by Craig Nicholls of the sublimely awful Aussie import the Vines! I believe their latest record debuted in the 20s on the Billboard!

[Screaming Lord Byron]

10. Yeah, The Vines. They're all about that guy's hair and vacant stare.

Not much under the crust of that half-baked indie-rock pie.

[Fenris]

11. Don't tell them that!

Craig thinks they're the new Beatles!:D

[Screaming Lord Byron]

12. 'Taxi for Mr. Nichols! Taxi for Mr. Nichols!'

Time to go back to MacD's, hair boy.

[Fenris]

13. "...but first, you need a quick haircut."

"Now get a new pair of Kangaroos and meet me by the fry cooker!"

[GOPisEvil]

3. Oh, that was good for a laugh!

:D

[XNASA]

4. Nobody deserves to get their ass kicked more than Liam.

Great voice. Tiny brain.

Here are some memorable quotes from Liam. I love the last one especially:

I am Oasis and I should get more fuc*ing money. This is madness. We earn loads of it and I want more.

Put me in a room with any of these bands - they wouldn't f***ing walk out alive. I'd put money on it.

I suppose I do get sad, but not for too long. I just look in the mirror and go, 'What a f***ing good-looking f*** you are.' And then I brighten up.

I was walking along and this chair came flying past me, and another,and another, and I thought, man, is this gonna be a good night

[Loonman]

6. Nice

They should be rewarded for performing a public service.

[phillybri]

8. I'd like to my foot up his ass...

What a smarmy little fuck...

[DS1]

14. Too bad they stopped at his front teeth

:grr: