Is it impolite to start a political arguement w/ family or friends?

[Nikia]

Especially in their own home. I know that we will never win against Bush and the likes if we don't inform people, but I don't know if starting political arguements with family or friends who we know have very strong contrary opinions is a good thing to do.
I watched our houseguest continually harass my father-in-law about how bad Bush is and watched as my father-in-law, a Republican, was very offended. The houseguest contiuned to yell about this to him despite the fact that my father-in-law tried to end the convesation several times. This was completely unprovoked.
Yes I think my father-in-law has an incorrect position but I think that there is something impolite about what happened. The houseguest has said that he does this with his family too everytime he sees them. Maybe I am a coward. When I have political discussions with people close to me who I know disagree with me, I try to find common ground. I might even mention that I disagree with them but I try not to offend them by saying that their political hero is a thief, liar, murderer or anything like that directly and never yell. If I sense that they are getting angry, I say something neutral like "Yes, both parties seem to have their own special interest groups" and drop it.
Are people like our houseguest doing the party and our cause a great service or are they just alienating people close to them?

[MsUnderstood]

1. I don't start them at someone else's house

but I don't let them continue either if someone else goes against my beliiefs.


Politics is not a discussion for polite tables.

I hate visting family and hearing all about how great bush is (or Arnold). When I point out issues with both these men the fall back is "at least it isn't clinton/davis.

[Blue-Jay]

2. Shit. I do it all the time.

If you didn't know better, you'd think that my brother and me hate each others' guts. I only hate his political guts. The rest of his guts are pretty good, though.

It's just not a real family gathering without everyone ganging up on him after he sticks his foot in his mouth.

Crap. He's seen my DU bumpersticker, so I imagine that there's a possibility that he's lurking here. Oh well.... Mitchell, your boy is going down! Also, if I ever hear you call me a "scumbag Democrat" again, I'll feed you your teeth. Bank on it, big bro.

[Nlighten1]

3. Some would say so...

but in this day and age I say it is prudent that we start these arguments.

[Pithlet]

4. I never start them.

But I always get sucked into them when they do start. I can only keep my mouth shut for so long.

[Book Lover]

5. This reminds me of

a column Miss Manners ran a few months ago:

In this election year, I am struck by a barrier to participation in the world's most famous democracy -- that being Americans' reluctance to consider political discourse to be polite conversation.
...
I find the rigor with which reasoned political discourse -- or even discussion of complex news topics -- is quashed as if it's a threat to future generations' participation in our communities. I certainly grew up with animated (but cordial) political discussion in many formal and informal venues.

Yet broach the subject of an election at most dinner tables or cocktail parties and it's as though you were discussing something shameful or utterly beyond proper behavior.
...

to which the reply came:

You mean people of mixed political opinions, who are going to feel free to say what they think about the morals and intelligence of people who disagree with them about politics (or sex or religion, which are also banned from the dinner table)? Miss Manners suggests you try bringing up a topic from each of these areas -- for example, the death penalty, same-sex marriage, or abortion -- and see how much polite, cordial and reasoned discourse you provoke.

She would be only too happy to welcome the return of substantive conversation at dinner parties; goodness knows she is weary of hearing people talk about the food. But conversation requires listening respectfully to others and engaging in polite give-and-take, rather than making speeches and imputing others' motives and judgment.

Unless you are sure you are among those who know how to express their opinions politely and listen to others' respectfully, Miss Manners suggests you be grateful for those discussions of reality television.

[flamingyouth]

6. I had it out with a good friend last Easter

I ended up telling him to fuck off. We reconciled, but no one will forget THAT Easter dinner!:eyes:

[mvd]

7. Depends on how close to them you are

If I was close to a family member, I wouldn't aggravate things.

I don't have a big problem. Here's a breakdown:

My parents, who I'm close to: both avid Democrats like I am

My grandfather, who I'm close to: avid Democrat

My grandmother, who I'm not close to: Republican because she thinks she has to be because of her money. She is not politically astute at all. Yet she thinks she's right. :eyes:

Closest aunts and uncles: two avid Democrats, one independent/former Bush voter who likes Kerry this time, one who just changed registration back to Democratic - this uncle sometimes voted for the Democrats anyway.

Some others are Republicans or likely Republicans, but I'm not close.

[Donkeyboy75]

8. I'm more likely to bring it up around close family.

I ruined a family pseudo-reunion when I just couldn't stomach any more shit my Christian Conservative aunt was spewing. I'm not close to her at all, but I exploded when I was told I was going to hell.

:mad:

[mvd]

9. Now that I can see

There are limits with me even when a family member is close.

[Darth_Kitten]

10. I say if someone offers a strong opinion......

and I don't agree, I'm going to say something. ;)

Politics gets people fired up.....trust me, I've been there. :)

[Mayberry Machiavelli]

11. My feelings (they are just that, no etiquette expert here):

-If someone is trying to "disengage" from the argument, it is rude to continue to badger them to continue, regardless of the situation (unless arguing politics is the specific purpose of the gathering somehow).

-Don't argue with people in their house, even if they are pigheaded and wrong. It's their house! If you are pissed, and can't let it go, simply leave. "Thanks for the great pot roast, I suddently remembered we have to feed our ferret! Gotta go!"

-I NEVER start arguments like this. Just not my nature. I do sometimes get sucked in if I just can't stand it any more. And sometimes I'm sorry I didn't get involved if I had to listen to a lot of really stupid crap.

[bigbillhaywood]

12. Call 1-800-RED-SQUAD

They will ensure your fascist friends and relatives quietly "diappear" Remember your duty to the Party.