Dookus
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Tue Jun-01-04 08:53 PM
Original message |
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Edited on Tue Jun-01-04 08:59 PM by Dookus
Well, as some of you know, I've been unemployed for awhile. Try as I might, sitting on the couch is NOT causing the job offers to roll in. So I'm expanding my horizons.
Considering I don't really like to work, I naturally started looking at the cushy jobs out there. Alas, due to very poor planning on my parents' part, hereditary monarch is out. Then I decided to go for Pope, but the current occupant of the office seems inordinately attached to the job.
Then it hit me like mackerel across the face: Vice-President! It's perfect for me. The job's been described as "not worth a pitcher of warm piss", which describes me to a T! I am more than willing to cast the occasional vote in the Senate and I promise to check the internet at least every other day to make sure the President is still kicking.
In the unlikely event that I should be called upon to take on the duties of the Presidency, I would surround myself by intelligent, motivated people from DU who would actually do the heavy lifting. Further, I would commit to indulge my sexual peccadilloes ONLY with people who can keep a secret. That is my solemn vow.
Dookus for VP - say it. Repeat it. Believe it!
I thank you for your support.
My name is Dookus, and I approved this message.
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Don_G
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Tue Jun-01-04 08:56 PM
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1. I Found Your Campaign Manager |
Forkboy
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Tue Jun-01-04 08:57 PM
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2. Sorry,but you take science seriously |
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and America can't have that :)
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Kahuna
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Tue Jun-01-04 09:16 PM
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tishaLA
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Tue Jun-01-04 09:25 PM
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4. Your position on raccoons |
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hinders the ticket. I'm ABD: Anybody But Dookus
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Dookus
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Wed Jun-02-04 12:51 AM
Response to Reply #4 |
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My position on raccoons has been field-tested, polled, trial-ballooned and focus grouped.
I believe in full raccoon rights, except when people are opposed.
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Book Lover
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Tue Jun-01-04 09:25 PM
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There's always an opening for Pope; you just have to wait a few decades and get real good at backstabbing....
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UTUSN
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Tue Jun-01-04 09:40 PM
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6. Spit. That's, "a pitcher of warm SPIT." |
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But other than that, "Vice President Dookus" has a certain ring.
(Tip: You're an excellent and entertaining writer. Follow those keystrokes.)
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Dookus
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Tue Jun-01-04 10:08 PM
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is the bowdlerized version. I believe it was John Nance Garner who said it, and he said piss. It was reported as "spit" so as not to offend the delicate sensibilities of Americans. http://www.saidwhat.co.uk/quotes.php?id=2127
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UTUSN
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Tue Jun-01-04 10:23 PM
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8. Well, O.K. Guess I Grew Up Bowdlerized |
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Edited on Tue Jun-01-04 10:25 PM by UTUSN
And this is about the third time tonight I get my arse kicked. Just desserts for my PUI posts, but reaping while sober ---ouch.
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Dookus
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Tue Jun-01-04 10:50 PM
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No worries. Vice-President Dookus is the forgiving sort.
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Dookus
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Tue Jun-01-04 11:35 PM
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and thank you for the compliment :)
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Guy Fawkes
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Tue Jun-01-04 10:54 PM
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Dookus
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Tue Jun-01-04 10:59 PM
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11. I think we just picked my campaign slogan! |
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Dookus for VP - We've Done Worse!
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DU
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Fri Apr 19th 2024, 09:05 PM
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