legal question: How do I serve someone with a summons?

[lazarus]

I'm filing for custody of my daughter, and I'm having to do it pro se. Not a bad thing, since the local courthouse has adjuticators who will do all the paperwork for you for free. But I forgot to ask how, exactly, I serve my ex-wife with the papers, since she's across the country. Do I have to hire someone? Can I just send it registered mail?

Help!

[trof]

1. I think you have to hire someone.

I think it has to be physically in person to the one being served.
Sometimes a local sherrif's deputy will do it for a fee.
Or a lawyer may point you to a process server.
Good luck.

[GOPisEvil]

2. Napps to the rescue!

http://www.napps.com/

[lazarus]

8. That's it

I had to go 20 miles from her zip code to find someone, but I found someone. Time to email him and find out what this will cost.

Thanks!

[GOPisEvil]

11. Good luck!

:thumbsup:

[GOPisEvil]

9. Oh...contact the local Constable's Office.

I used to be an expert witness, and I got most of my subpoenas from the Constable's Office.

[lazarus]

12. No listing for a constable's office there

I guess the sheriff's would be next?

[GOPisEvil]

13. Yeah, Constables might be a Texas thing.

The Constables are tied to the J.P. courts. I'm betting the Sheriff's office has a fee structure for this type of thing.

[cheezus]

3. certified mail with return receipt

which they can refuse delivery of. Then you have to get the sherrif to serve the summons for you.

[H2O Man]

5. A rule of thumb:

summons should always be served in person. Though many go through the mail, it is always better to have them served in person. Your suggestion of "get the sheriff" (not sherrif) is the single best way to have it done. There is a small fee, but having the sheriff's department deliver it is WELL worth the cost.

[cheezus]

15. Thank you for correcting my spelling!

Wow! Now I'll never have to risk embarassment by making the same mistake again, and it's all thanks to your need to correct spelling errors in a public forum. I, sir, am in your debt.

[H2O Man]

17. No problem.

I hope you didn't faint. like the kid at the spelling contest. Just be more careful in the future. We have to hold ourselves to a higher standard around here.

[molly]

4. When my ex sued me for "over-payment" of child support

he sent the papers via certified-registered-signature required mail. His attorney filed in the "wrong" court - so be sure you file correctly. I challenged him pro se (in the correct court) and sued his sorry ass. I found an attorney eventually and won a large settlement.

[lazarus]

6. I checked that

Since none of the parties involved (me, the mother, or the child) live in the original state, and since the child has resided with me for a year, I can register the divorce decree here.

The mother gave me the child for the school year, due to her erratic lifestyle, and I don't want to send my daughter back, basically.

[molly]

14. If I were you, I would try to make this as

easy and amicable as possible. If my ex had just called and told me why he felt he should not pay child support anymore instead of suing me for $2,000.00, I would not have won a settlement of $25,000.00. If I had actually gone to court, my attorney said I would have won more.

[lazarus]

19. Good idea

However, my ex is damned near pathological. I've broached the subject of a custody change before, and she went totally ballistic.

We haven't been able to have an amicable discussion about anything since before the divorce, to be honest. One example: She was more furious at me for calling social services when my daughter came to visit with severe bruises from a beating by my ex's boyfriend than she was at the boyfriend. See, when I called to have an amicable discussion about this, she just denied it happened, while I was looking at pictures of the bruises.

[arwalden]

7. Hire Someone.

Professional process servers, hire the sherrif (or an off-duty deputy) to do it.

Registered mail is tricky because she can refuse it if she suspects its from you. Or just scribble her "signature" unintelligibly and later claim that she was never properly served and it wasn't her signature on the claim form. --- I suppose you COULD send it FEDEX with a restricted delivery... in a "big" box (rather than a flat envelope) to make it look like a gift that she would be WILLING to sign for.

-- Allen

[lazarus]

10. The shame of it is

I don't have any friends in the area who could do it. All my friends are willing and eager, but it's a good long drive.

Sigh.

I'm going to hire a process server, I think.

[molly]

16. I forgot to ask the age of your daughter

when a child is 12, they can go before a judge and make their own decision.

[lazarus]

18. Not necessarily

she's 12, but that doesn't always apply.

And in this case, I don't know that it should. My daughter is very torn up over this whole thing. Until this past year, she lived with her mother her whole life, so she's understandably got some loyalty there. When asked, she just says she wishes she could live both places.

Doesn't help that her mom only calls every two or three months, and then gets her all worked up about going back, then doesn't call for a while.

[molly]

20. Every 2 to 3 months!?????

I had a similar situation and my son adored his father. Now that he is grown and out on his own, he wants nothing to do with him. These kids have a glorified vision of the absent parent. You are the person that is there and administers the discipline and daily needs to keep this child alive. I tried never to belittle his father - they get very protective of their parent fantasy.