What will God say to Republicans when they try to enter into Heaven?

[PartyPooper]

Something tells me He will say "fuck off!" to most of them.

I think there are a lot more Democrats and Greens in Heaven than Republicans.

But, I'm just a casual Christian. I don't attend church regularly.
So, what do I know?

What do you think?

O8)

[MGKrebs]

1. "All the Schlitz you can drink!"

[Eye and Monkey]

2. "Your HMO doesn't cover admission for this condition."

[sam sarrha]

3. like the greedy corporate CEO who dies and goes st peter.. St Peter can

only find one good thing the guy did.. as a small child he put a Quarter in the Poor Box in church one sunday...

so St Peter goes to god and tells him the story and asks what he should do.... god says, "give him his quarter back and tell him to go to HELL."

[DieboldMustDie]

4. "...`Depart from me, you cursed, into the eternal fire...

prepared for the devil and his angels; for I was hungry and you gave me no food, I was thirsty and you gave me no drink, I was a stranger and you did not welcome me, naked and you did not clothe me, sick and in prison and you did not visit me.' Then they also will answer, `Lord, when did we see thee hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and did not minister to thee?' Then he will answer them, `Truly, I say to you, as you did it not to one of the least of these, you did it not to me.'"

Matthew 25:41-45

[Mike Niendorff]

5. "In as much as you did it unto one of the least of these, my brethren ..."

"... you did it unto me."


MDN

[nickgutierrez]

6. My guess?

"AAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"

*pulls lever*

Or something like that.

[ThoughtCriminal]

7. Let them in

They will find a place where they are not better than everyone else and think they are in Hell.

[absolutezero]

8. come right on in

then St. Peter has an angel give the puke a tour of the place; everyone treated equally, no war, no money because no one needs it, happy people from all walks of life (including gays, blacks, jews, muslims, women, veterans...all the people they try to screw over) lots of democrats, rock music and porno for everyone (atleast thats my idea of heaven)

Then the puke asks "If this is heaven then what's hell like?"

St Pete says "Lots of old white men, mostly politicians and buisnessmen, really smokey and a lot of screwing around with the workers"

"Sounds just like the gentlemen's club, I think i'll take it"

"Sure thing" a trap door opens and the puke falls through St Peter shouts down the hole "I forgot to mention that the smoke is from the fire and screwing with the workers means repeated pitchfork rapings"
He shrugs, waves through a coupla marines then goes back to reading the village voice

[TheWizardOfMudd]

9. I think God would say something like . . . .

. . . .

"White collar conservative flashin' down the street
Pointin' their plastic finger at me, huh
They're hopin' soon my kind will drop and die but
I'm gonna wave my freak flag high

High! Woa!

Wave on, wave on

Ah ha ha

Fall mountains
Just don't fall on me

Go ahead on, Mr. Businessman
You can't dress like me

Don't nobody know what I'm talkin' about
I've got my own life to live

I'm the one that's gonna have to die when it's time for me to die
So let me live my life
The way I want to

Yeah

Sing on, brother
Play on, drummer"

[pagerbear]

10. Does God use language like that?

[leftofthedial]

11. trickle on down suckah!

get on down there and change Ronnie's diapers for eternity.

[NewHampshireDem]

12. Well, many of those greedy bastards would do well to remember ...

It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God (Matthew 19:24).