I'm tired of my posts being monitorred and questioned!

[SarahB]

I'm not a f*cking child. I need some space. I'm not doing anything wrong.

That is all! :grr:

grammar edit

[BlondieK143]

1. It's okay.

Breathe. :hug:

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

2. create a screen name he doesn't know

[SarahB]

3. There's already one.

I'll probably start using it more. This is ridiculous. I've so outgrown this codependent, insecure business.

[supernova]

4. Reading over your shoulder?

Eeek.

Yes, I'm all for another identity.

My ex used to read my journal.. ALL THE DAMN TIME! :grr: I couldn't have a private thought..... ever.

[SarahB]

7. Becoming a member here

For the purpose of the search feature. I don't even go on if he's home, but that's not enough. Knowing I want to seperate and knowing there was a man here I was at one time close with is too much for his ego. I don't need a computer for men to be interested in me anyway, but I've never so much as even kissed another man in almost 14 years.

[Eye and Monkey]

27. You have to donate to use the "search" feature. SarahBelle -

This might be one of those points in time that you look back on and say something like "I should have known THEN - "

On edit - Attention: Mr. Belle - actually, the same comment applies to you. Ask yourself - is this sort of thing really a good way to go about things?

[sus]

5. i'm putting this under "hostile" in my "SarahBelle DU post log"

;)

I'm watchin' you!!

[HEyHEY]

24. For certain - me too.

[m-jean03]

6. Your husband?

That sucks, SarahBelle. I'm sorry.
That would drive me crazy. :hug:

[rumguy]

8. uh-oh!

it's the three rings of marriage...

the engagement ring

the wedding ring

and the suffering

[BigMcLargehuge]

9. I'm sorry to hear about your troubles sarahbelle

It's terrible when two people who shared total intamacy can't maintain even closeness. I went through some of it, but managed to pull the team together, for lack of a better expression. I hope you will find happiness and peace soon.

I'll keep you in my thoughts.

[sundog]

10. cheer up, belle

there's a serious funk going around the lounge today & everyone's in it (myself included)

maybe this will help...



now smile that pretty smile :)

[SarahB]

11. dude!

:D

[texas1928]

23. My Wife read the posts on our DULL threads

All I get is you are weird. Cause that is all it is. I am not asking someone to meet me or anything like that. Just have some fun and blowing off steam. If I was not on here, I would be playing Medal Of Honor, or one of my other historical type first person shooters. I am sorry to hear that your husband has to be jealous.

[VelmaD]

12. You tell that idiot...

that I said if he doesn't stop treating you like this I'm gonna come up there and hit him upside the head with a shovel on your behalf.

[SarahB]

14. He's not a bad person.

I'm often told, "You go on DU and say mean things about me and I never get to defend myself, Sarah." I don't. I really don't. He's a not terrible person. He's a good father. He does great at a job that requires both skill and compassion. He's good man, but there's an immense chasm now. There's been for awhile. I wish my respect and my friendship could be enough for now, but I guess it's not. I know he's in pain, and yes, this is public domain, but I do need something to call my own. I know life won't be this way forever though.

[Zomby Woof]

13. Want me to woof some ass?

:hug:

Hi Sarah! Thanks for your post in DR's 5000 thread the other day - I miss you too, and am here anytime you need to vent!

[SarahB]

15. Thanks Zomby!

I appreciate that. Love the Yak avatar by the way.

[WannaJumpMyScooter]

16. Relax. Sometimes things take time.

I could have sworn this time last year that my wife and I would be divorced by now, but we are better than ever. We just needed time and space.
It is worth it.
Have you told him how you feel about this?
Have you told him the support you get from strangers, yes strangers, most of whom you will never meet?
Why would he care what a bunch of cyber-leftists like us think about him?

[SarahB]

17. All we have had is time

And therapy. It feels like in his view all we should need is each other. I don't think that's healthy. I have gotten close to some people here- a good female friend in real life and a male friend I had some feelings for (nothing happened, never met, he's far away, we've backed off). I've met a number of people in real life and happen to like to hang with that crowd occasionally on my own. I think he finds it threatening other men find me attractive as well. I'm so NOT a flirt in real life, but sometimes I do here just a little to be silly. That's a problem as well.
I was married very young. I've put a lot aside to be a good mother and support him. A little more independence is something I need though now. I flat out said, I need a longer leash or it's going to be cut. It's hard for us to come to a comfortable agreement on this.

[tigereye]

21. as another married mom

I have to say that sometimes we need to remember what it was like to have another identity (other than wife and mommy and professional) and play with it a little. I was never much of a flirt, but it is kind of fun at times, esp. if there is no harm to it, and this is a nice place for that. People are complex and it isn't good to be just one thing to just one person. My husband was online for years and had lots of friends he met through there, and I never once worried about it. I thought it was neat. I personally like to indulge my rock and roll persona ( I was in bands for years before becoming a parent) since I don't really have time to do the band thing now.

:hi:

[GOPisEvil]

18. All I can say is that I wish you well.

I hope you can find resolution soon.

[SarahB]

19. Interesting turn of events today

Mr Belle has a profile on a site to meet other people. This is not a bad thing in my view. Really, it's not!

Oh yes, trying to have some sort of separation under the same roof is really fun. Not. :crazy:

Not much he can say on my slightly disgruntled attitude anymore though.

[BigMcLargehuge]

26. Zazoosh.... why stay under the same roof then?

Are you staying together for the kids?

[SarahB]

29. sort of

There's money stuff to get in order. I had school stuff up in the air, but that's on hold somewhat. I have this intense Summer course to get through, then I have to get a job again (I've been a SAHM the last three years). He actually has a job interview tomorrow for a better position as well, so hopefully that will work out. It still may take several more months at this point.

[BigMcLargehuge]

30. I wish there was something I could do to help

I hope you guys can get your stuff in order quickly and begin moving on. Feel free to IM me if you need a shoulder or ear.

[SarahB]

31. Thanks

I don't know how one can ever completely move on with children, but I still care for the man and I just want to be as friendly and as civil as possible for them.

[BigMcLargehuge]

32. of course

he will always be a part of your life because of a children, but not a dominant part of it after you complete the separation. My parents called it quits when I turned 30, after what I later learned were 20 infuriating years for my Mom, and they are very good friends now.

Who knows, the time apart may also help you redefine your relationship with him, and with your kids. It did for my folks, but they waited until we were grown. I feel a little bad about it sometimes knowing how much my mom suffered.

But she's okay with it, especially now.

[texas1928]

20. It is a matter of trust, and some guys just do not have it

My wife is a member of a lot of groups, I don't care what she says about me. And I do not care if she talks to guys. She knows I would never do anything with someone else and I know she wouldn't. I trust her and she trusts me.

[NightTrain]

22. What happened?

n/t

[SarahB]

28. Something I said

Here in regards to feeling alone, etc. Some old stuff here too. I had a lot buried about how I felt for many years and a few months ago, it all came out. We're splitting up, but it will take time to work it all out. I don't want to take anything from him and want to be nothing but civil. I want the children to be with both of us as much as possible. I want us both to find someone someday that we can each be happier with.
Coming to terms with it is harder for him. I care for him, but our feelings are different at this point. I'm not the same woman as the one he married (but I was only 19). I've tried to do the right thing, but I've been unhappy for a long time and I don't want to wake up one day and I'm 50, still unhappy, and even more of life has passed me by.

[Mobius]

25. What did I miss?

:shrug: