I almost just killed a man at the grocery store.

[Bertha Venation]

A man had two kids in one of those carts w/ the bench attached. The man was getting corn on the cob, and the younger of the two kids, the boy, put his foot on the floor and pushed the cart along a little bit. He was giggling, as was his older sister, who said, "Look, Daddy, it's moving by itself!" The dad looked up and just like that smacked the back of the boy's head and said "behave!"

Instant chill. You couldn't have stilled or shut those kids up any quicker if you'd thrown ice water on them.

In the busy produce section, I was trapped -- couldn't move my cart for a minute. The guy was on the other side of the island from me. I stared at him angrily the whole time I stood there. He never caught my eye. I looked at his kids again when I started to move. The girl looked at me & smiled; the boy was staring at the floor, as he had been since the man hit him.

When I got alongside the kids, I stopped and looked at them. I addressed the boy: "Hi, cutie pie!" The girl said "Hi," and I looked at her and smiled. I looked at the boy again and caught his eye, and gave him a big smile. I could feel the dad looking at me and I wasn't about to let him bestow an "aren't my kids cute" look on me. I didn't look at him. I told the kids -- pointedly keeping my head low, talking to them -- "you all take care, now," then as I walked past, I looked at the asshole -- by now he was back to getting corn -- and said loudly, "Sucks getting smacked in the grocery store, doesn't it?" He didn't look up but his skin flushed from under his collar to the top of his ears.

I wanted to get in the mother fucker's face and say "Next time I see you hit those children I'm going to rip off your tiny little balls and shove them down your fucking throat." Every time I turned the corner in the store, I looked for him. I saw him a couple of times but never caught his eye.

I don't know what I would've done if he had said something to me. I had calmed, but now I'm shaking again.

[terrya]

1. You showed remarkable restraint, Bertha.

That kind of thing pisses me off to no end. It's plainly and sadly obvious that there are some people that have no business whatsoever having children. When I see a parent hitting a kid, my blood boils.

I don't blame you one damned bit for being upset, honey.

:hug:

Terry

[Bertha Venation]

8. I'll get a lot of shit for this, and I don't care: it is NEVER okay to hit

a child.

NEVER.

Not even on the bum. Not even if the kid was in danger.

No, I am not a parent, and that doesn't matter one iota.

I have been a child. If a child starts to touch a hot stove or embarks on another such dangerous behavior, I know that a sharp word is just as effective as a smack. I also know that there are a million different ways to discipline a child without corporal punishment.

Hitting a child, for whatever reason, with any regularity can teach that child that mommy or daddy -- who is meant to comfort and protect him -- will also hurt him. Forget what it does to the adult that child becomes: think of the terror the child experiences when he's a child.

Flame away. I don't give a shit.

And thanks, Terry. Not sure why I posted this in response to you; you're just lucky, I guess. :hug: (thanks for the hug, I needed it)

[terrya]

11. Children are defenseless.

No, it isn't right for a parent to hit a child. Under any circumstances.

It will leave emotional scars, besides the physical ones. And what if that kid, when he grows up, thinks it's ok to hit HIS children?

I was never spanked as a kid. Mom and Dad both knew how to use sharp language when I did something wrong...and it was pretty damned effective.

No one is going to flame you on this, Bertha. I think a lot of people agree with you. :-)

:hug:
Terry

[Bertha Venation]

14. Can you imagine if I tried to post this on Free Republic?

:scared:

[terrya]

17. Honey, you WOULD get flamed over there.

We're talking second degree burns. Those troglodytes at FR think hitting is everything, I'm sure.

Terry

[bloodyjack]

16. i couldn't agree more.

violence only begets more violence, except in the case of my mother, who is fabulous. still and all, i've come to believe that corporal punishment kindles a dull sort of hatred in the child towards the parent; it serves to humiliate and to crush the child's spirit. kids are totally at the mercy of their parents, they deserve to be reared patiently, gently—not with a regular series of smacks on the head or the posterior or wherever. it's disgusting how people can treat their own. i've witnessed similar things at greyhound stations and supermarkets and i know how you feel. it's infuriating.

[TheWizardOfMudd]

2. Call child welfare next time

The investigation, if any, will shake the guy up.

[sundog]

3. Guess that guy got his Instant Karma--

sometimes fate takes care of karma, sometimes you gotta take care of it yourself... ;-)

[BlondieK143]

4. I don't know how you restrained yourself.

Any time I see something like that it makes me feel about two inches tall since there's nothing we can do about it. You should be proud of yourself though for keeping yourself calm around his kids.

[diamond14]

5. I stopped a guy from slamming his children in the grocery store...

I just stood right there in front of the kid and told him that he'd have to HIT ME first....and the guy put down his hand....and I told me to cool down, that it is NEVER OK to hit a kid...that he needs help...and he actually held his head in shame...then after a while, I left, and he hugged his kid and they went on shopping....

don't let people HIT children in your presense....it is up to other adults to protect the helpless children, no matter what it takes...or call the police if you are afraid...but don't let people hurt and injure the innocent when YOU can and must stop it...

[Karenina]

20. We had a 10 year old pair

on the ice at Paramount. They thought I was a funny old lady and I thought they were too spoiled and too cute. The parents were the "vicarious types" I avoided until the day the boy was sitting next to me as we took our skates off, dawdling and picking at slice in the leather and his mom came over screeching, raising her hand to hit him. I put my body between them and instructed him to take off his boots and wipe his blades dry, which he promptly did. I told her to "BACK OFF," sat down and prayed the kid wouldn't catch hell once they were in their car...

[Bertha Venation]

22. you and amen1234 are heroes to those children

even if they did catch hell at home. I don't know if I fantasized it or it really happened, but I vaguely remember a similar experience when I was a kid. Thinking about it now, I can feel that adult's stand giving strength to the child, even through the next time she got the shit kicked out of her.

[Jade Fox]

6. You did a powerful thing.....

For a child who is abused, someone noticing and interrupting it is a life
saver. Kids don't know that the way they are being treated is wrong.
It only takes ONE person objecting to their mistreatment for them to
be able to hold on to hope. Conversely, if no one ever interrupts their
abuse, they can go on believeing it was their fault well into adult life.

[mmm]

7. Bravo!

There can be no excuse for the abuse of children or animals.
Not under any conditions.

Now, at least those kids
realize that some adults care.

Bravo!

[m-jean03]

9. Wow -- good job Bertha

I had tears in my eyes reading that. That poor kid.

You told that asshole..right on. :thumbsup: :cry:

[trof]

10. Similar experience

In a Red Lobster for my Uncle's 86th birthday lunch a few days ago.
(I'm not a RL fan, but it was Uncle's request.)
I was coming back from the men's room and as I was passing a table a tall 30-something man abruptly stood up. He grabbed a small boy by his upper arm and snatched him out of his seat.

"WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SOMETHING BEFORE THE FOOD CAME?
CAN'T YOU DO ANYTHING RIGHT? JESUS!
IT'LL BE COLD BY THE TIME WE GET BACK.
DON'T PEE YOUR PANTS BEFORE WE GET THERE!"

And on, and on, till they were out of earshot.
I thought "poor little guy".
And I thought about my single mom who loved me so much and was so kind.
And I was so glad I didn't have a dad, not if he'd have been like that one.

[Bertha Venation]

13. seems for some people, their children are an inconvenience

I respect my boss, a single mother, a great deal in this regard. She's a hot-shot attorney/lobbyist who just can't say no to one more client, one more project. She runs herself ragged. But she stays home w/ them if they're sick, she leaves work early whenever her kids have a game, or when one is sick at school . . .

But for some, it's clear the kids get in the way of their lives, instead of how it should be: until a certain age, the kids being their lives. Like the guy in Red Lobster, and the guy in Safeway. One wonders why they have kids at all.

[FizzFuzz]

growing up I always wished soooo bad

that someone would notice.
Say something.
Get me out of there.
And stop telling me what an angel on earth she was.

[Bertha Venation]

15. Me too, Fizz. eom

[Madrone]

19. Me three.

Without a doubt.

Did we have the same mom?

[Bertha Venation]

21. Yeah -- if you have "Bean" or "Chette" as a nickname... ;-)

I'm not surprised at all the people who grew up how I did. It makes me sad, but look at all the fucked up people in the world. Unfortunately, many of them are parents.

[trof]

18. That must be hell.

I am more thankful, every day, the more stories I hear.
I wish my mom could come back, just for one minute, so I could thank her.

[Gildor Inglorion]

23. Amen, and my father too.

I had the world's best parents, and a huge, loving, and supportive extended family, most of which is still around and still just as fabulous. My heart goes out to victims of child abuse.

[FizzFuzz]

12. growing up I always wished soooo bad

that someone would notice.
Say something.
Get me out of there.
And stop telling me what an angel on earth she was.

[Padraig18]

24. I'm with you, Kim!

Be warned, world---- NEVER hit a child in my presence, unless you are prepared to accept a beat-down of your own.

[RebelOne]

25. Sounds like child abuse to me.