DS1
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Thu Jun-10-04 10:37 AM
Original message |
You must now address me as the Reverend DS1 |
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I am now an ordained Minister of the Universal Life Church. Click me
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flamingyouth
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Thu Jun-10-04 10:39 AM
Response to Original message |
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I've actually married people!
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DS1
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Thu Jun-10-04 10:40 AM
Response to Reply #1 |
2. Hey, I've buried people |
flamingyouth
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Thu Jun-10-04 10:44 AM
Response to Reply #2 |
sniffa
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Thu Jun-10-04 10:41 AM
Response to Original message |
3. this is ripe for a copy cat thread |
DS1
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Thu Jun-10-04 10:41 AM
Response to Reply #3 |
4. That would be blasphemous |
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as if they weren't in the first place :spank:
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THUNDER HANDS
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Thu Jun-10-04 10:43 AM
Response to Original message |
5. wow, like Al Sharpton! |
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Do you have cool hair too?
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DS1
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Thu Jun-10-04 10:44 AM
Response to Reply #5 |
6. It's curly in the rain |
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:shrug:
Perhaps I've have 'da big guy' do me a solid and hit me with lightning, and we'll see what happens to my hair...
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dolo amber
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Thu Jun-10-04 10:48 AM
Response to Reply #6 |
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a lime green velour tracksuit? :D
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iconoclastic cat
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Thu Jun-10-04 10:49 AM
Response to Reply #10 |
11. Oo! Oo! I want one! I want one! |
TrogL
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Thu Jun-10-04 10:45 AM
Response to Original message |
DS1
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Thu Jun-10-04 10:45 AM
Response to Reply #8 |
9. Off to hell with you! Disbeliever! |
GOPisEvil
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Thu Jun-10-04 10:51 AM
Response to Original message |
12. Nice to meet you, your Eminence. |
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I'll remember you if I ever need the services of a man of the cloth.
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Lithos
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Thu Jun-10-04 10:52 AM
Response to Reply #12 |
13. I thought that was yes your Impotence! |
DS1
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Thu Jun-10-04 10:55 AM
Response to Reply #13 |
15. Silence! Or face my staff of contrition! |
DS1
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Thu Jun-10-04 10:53 AM
Response to Reply #12 |
14. I will bless your golf clubs, my child |
TX-RAT
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Thu Jun-10-04 10:58 AM
Response to Reply #14 |
17. I've heard about his game |
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Divine intervention won't help.
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GOPisEvil
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Thu Jun-10-04 10:59 AM
Response to Reply #17 |
18. Heh...it's not the clubs either...it's the golf balls... |
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THEY have a mind of their own. x(
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TX-RAT
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Thu Jun-10-04 11:01 AM
Response to Reply #18 |
20. Can't buy good balls anymore, |
greatauntoftriplets
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Thu Jun-10-04 10:58 AM
Response to Original message |
16. Bless me Reverend.... |
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...for I have sinned!
:evilgrin:
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DS1
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Thu Jun-10-04 12:11 PM
Response to Reply #16 |
40. Only if you felt good afterwards |
livinginphotographs
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Thu Jun-10-04 10:59 AM
Response to Original message |
19. I got that done a few years ago. |
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I was actually slated to marry two of my friends, but in Virginia, you have to spend like $500 to get registered as clergy.
And since the church hasn't tapped a huge market that's out there, I will by marrying gay couples. Think about it: I can operate without any competition whatsoever from other churches, and I'll make a fortune! :P
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DS1
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Thu Jun-10-04 11:21 AM
Response to Reply #19 |
24. Move up to MA like me. Couple our laws with some Enron accounting |
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Edited on Thu Jun-10-04 11:21 AM by DS1
I'll be able to marry myself to arwalden :7
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SOteric
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Thu Jun-10-04 11:03 AM
Response to Original message |
21. Uhmmm... are you sure about these acts of contrition...? |
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One or two of them seem as though they should be on the 'sin' list...
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DS1
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Thu Jun-10-04 11:18 AM
Response to Reply #21 |
22. My authority is not open to debate |
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You've just been moved to the front of the line :spank:
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tsakshaug
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Thu Jun-10-04 11:20 AM
Response to Original message |
Magrittes Pipe
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Thu Jun-10-04 11:22 AM
Response to Original message |
25. I have been a ULC minister for the past 10 years. |
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Shit, I'm probably a bishop by now.
Wanna pet the bishop?
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DS1
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Thu Jun-10-04 11:26 AM
Response to Reply #25 |
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My first assassination accident victim to provide last rites.
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buddhamama
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Thu Jun-10-04 11:25 AM
Response to Original message |
26. Dearest Most Benevolent Reverend DS1 |
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I have sinned and I feel no guilt for having done so.
Will you bless me and, thwart any who would try and persuade me to walk on the path of righteousness and light?
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DS1
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Thu Jun-10-04 11:28 AM
Response to Reply #26 |
28. It's about time someone had the courage and step up. |
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You are forgiven, no encouraged, to commit further guiltless sin.
In fact, if you lay your head down for sleep without committing sin, I want you to come back and beg for forgiveness. :spank:
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alvis
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Thu Jun-10-04 11:29 AM
Response to Original message |
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Become a Beer Minister. http://www.beerchurch.com/ordination.htmLooks like they are charging now. I was ordained back when it was free. :toast:
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LynneSin
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Thu Jun-10-04 11:30 AM
Response to Original message |
30. I found the Church sign advertising Rev DS1's first sermon: |
DS1
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Thu Jun-10-04 11:32 AM
Response to Reply #30 |
31. My Church wouldn't dare spell it wrong. Off to hell with you!! |
LynneSin
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Thu Jun-10-04 11:39 AM
Response to Original message |
32. Even Dubya wants you to forgive him! |
DS1
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Thu Jun-10-04 11:41 AM
Response to Reply #32 |
33. Not while he's busy uniting |
LynneSin
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Thu Jun-10-04 11:42 AM
Response to Reply #33 |
34. I was going to take a picture with a weird smirk on his face |
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but the dog was too tempting for this purpose!!
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DS1
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Thu Jun-10-04 11:45 AM
Response to Reply #34 |
35. When he's done uniting, I'm going to command him to |
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eat Ronald Reagan.
That's correct, don't ~ever~ elect me to public office. I am a powermad tyrant.
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underpants
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Thu Jun-10-04 11:50 AM
Response to Original message |
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You might feel the sudden urge to rip off old ladies.
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DS1
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Thu Jun-10-04 12:10 PM
Response to Reply #36 |
39. There are no old ladies |
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Just recycling candidates
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matcom
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Thu Jun-10-04 11:55 AM
Response to Original message |
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and KISS OFF! i ain't puttin' NUTTIN' in your collection plate so DON'T ASK!!
:D
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DS1
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Thu Jun-10-04 12:10 PM
Response to Reply #37 |
38. You must be thinking of someone else |
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I don't ask for ANYTHING!!!
Just your loyalty and arriving for meetings 5 minutes early...
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matcom
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Thu Jun-10-04 12:24 PM
Response to Reply #38 |
41. so, you mean to tell me that when i die.... |
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YOU will be the first one to greet me? :scared:
:D
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DS1
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Thu Jun-10-04 12:53 PM
Response to Reply #41 |
43. I'll be the last person you see.... |
terrya
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Thu Jun-10-04 12:28 PM
Response to Original message |
42. I got a glass of water here. Turn it into wine. |
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Edited on Thu Jun-10-04 12:29 PM by terrya
Let's see you work a miracle. :-)
And a red wine, please. A Merlot would be nice.
Thanks Terry
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DS1
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Thu Jun-10-04 12:54 PM
Response to Reply #42 |
44. Sorry, the Church does not recognize your flavor of linux |
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Thu Apr 18th 2024, 07:36 PM
Response to Original message |