Fox Announces New 24/7 "FART" Network To Salute Reagan

[stopbush]

WorldNutzDaily, July 11, 2004

RUPPERT MURDOCH has announced the launch of a new Fox subsidiary, FART - or, Fox Airs Reagan's Tomb. The network begins broadcast this Monday.

The FART network will feature an eclectic mix of fantasy and reality programming. Fox cameras will be focused on the tomb of Ronald Reagan 24 hours a day with the FART news desk manned by blond-haired-bimbos-in-training from Fox affiliates across the country. Special appearances by a broad-based cross-section of fair-and-balanced Republicans will add artistic verisimilitude to the programming.

Though details are sketchy, a few of Fox's bold programming steps have already leaked to the press. One show, entitled "My Love For Ronald Reagan Saved My Life," will be a real-time reality show, broadcast live. "It's a fabulous concept," said Fox star Sean Hannity, "we'll be interviewing visitors to Reagan's tomb in real time. We'll ask one simple question: do you think Ronald Reagan was God incarnate on Earth? Before the person can answer, the Marine guard stationed at the tomb will step forward and threaten to bayonet the person unless they answer in the affirmative. We expect pretty much 100% "yes" answers. Therefore, each and every person will be, in a sense, "saved" by Ronald Reagan! I think it's masterful."

On the fantasy programming front, Fox will be re-working some of its more popular shows with advanced digital imaging techniques. Inside sources report that such hits as "The Simpsons" will be re-worked to present a wholesome, Republican side of comedy. Homer Simpson's image will be digitally enhanced into that of Ronald Reagan, while Marge morphs into Nancy, Bart becomes Michael and so on. For story lines, Fox writers are busy rewriting existing episodes with plots and outcomes shifting 180º from their present, communist versions.

Work on Fox's Reagan-themed Christmas Special ("Santa Ron") wrapped on Friday. They begin shooting their Reagan-inspired Easter Special ("Ron Is Risen! Hallelujah!") on Tuesday.

And, in a stunning move, Fox's FART network has ordered 56 new episodes of their FX Network hit, "The Dead Zone," which will run pretty much half the day.

Check your local cable provider for channel and times.

[jeff30997]

1. Noooo!!!

Leave The Simpsons alone!!!:silly:

[The empressof all]

2. How about these shows

Patriot Girl- Celibate teen-age Cheerleader puts all her friends to shame with her patriotic clothing. After school she secretly performs random acts of patriotism

Charlie's Blue Angels- Three female military precision pilots moonlight as fighters of terrorism and champions of the American Way.

My Uncle Sam-Aging stilt walker assumes custody of his parent less nephew.

Red White and Blue Cooking- On the menu this week Red White and Blue Cheese Potatoe Salad- Guest Chef Dan Quayle.