DU parents of teens and DU teens- I have a simple question

[SW FL Dem]

At what time is it inappropriate to call to ask for a sleepover. My teen son asked his friend yesterday if he could sleep over here tonight. He got a non response. He called again at 2 pm - his friend wasn't home. He was at a local Magic card game tournament. We got a call at 9:45pm from the friend's mom. She's not sure where her kid is, someone else was supposed to pick him up from the tournament,(she dropped the kid off 8 hours ago) but when she finds him, she'll bring him over for the sleepover. It's now 10:20 and we don't know if the kid is going to show up or not.
BTW - this family belongs to the local fundie RW "family values" church.

[tnlefty]

1. How old is this kid that she dropped off 8 hrs. ago and doesn't know

where he is?

In my book it's late and inconsiderate, but then I use the standard no phone calls after 9 unless it's really important.

[SW FL Dem]

2. the kid is almost 13 n/t

[tnlefty]

5. Maybe I'm just a nut, but I would be going crazy if I didn't know where a

kid of mine was at that age or even now (slightly older). Does she seem at all concerned that she can't find him after 8 hrs. of not seeing him?

[SW FL Dem]

7. She found him at 10:45

but decided that it was too late to bring him here for a sleepover.
Did I mention that the new hubby of this same mom, showed up at 9 am on a recent Sunday looking for the kid -seems they okayed a sleepover but didn't remember where. And my kid wonders why I discourage further contact with these idiots.

[tnlefty]

13. Didn't remember where? I would laugh if this were a movie but that's

sad and a little scary. My oldest has a friend whose parents are goofy and I don't really like for him to be over there.

I can't believe that they think that you are being out of line. Good grief.

Good luck with it.

[SW FL Dem]

12. the sad truth is that they think I am out of line

for setting a deadline for the sleepover.

[PittPoliSci]

3. i guess it depends on age...

and whether or not you have to work in the morning :-)

My friends and myself usually just show up at each other's houses at whatever time and just stay. Nobody really cares, I suppose.

[SW FL Dem]

8. I dont' work and my kid has the summer off

but my hubby works and we generally are all in bed by midnight. What point is there is having a sleepover at 10 pm unless you are just looking at getting rid of your kid for the night

[PittPoliSci]

14. well, the kid might still want to have fun.

After all, when I go to stay at someone's house, or someone stays here, we usually stay up till 3 or 4 in the morning.

BTW, how'd it all go?

[MuseRider]

4. Hey! Been there

with a local fundie here. Didn't matter, they will show anyway. Mine used to leave their kid at my house for the entire weekend or 3 days if it was a holiday. They would leave town with the other 6 kids in the family and come back and call because they didn't know where he was. It is a good thing I liked this kid and he was good and pleasant to have around. Good luck, most likely no matter what you do short of leaving all the lights off they will probably show up.

[SW FL Dem]

9. Yep they even show up when the lights are off

I've had to go the length of taping the damn doorbell so they don't ring it at 11pm while dropping the kid off.

[latebloomer]

6. Rude and inconsiderate

I have a twelve year old and I would not put up with this. If nothing was definitely arranged by 8 or 9 the latest, I would tell him, sorry, it's too late, you never confirmed you were coming.

[SW FL Dem]

11. I have an only so I have to admit I am more

considerate with his friends and their families that I would be with my own

[Kali]

10. I feel sorry for the poor kid!

Embrace him and show him a better way...