Rabrrrrrr
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Sun Jun-27-04 06:51 PM
Original message |
I want to start a College For Evil - what classes should I have? |
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and what kind of professors do I need?
I'm thinking:
Psychology 101 - The Group Mind and How To Take Advantage of It Psychology 102 - Training your Evil Assistant
Henchman 101 - Gathering People Who Want to Follow Henchman 102 - Ensuring the Silence of Your Henchman Henchman 103 - Determining If A Henchman Who Shows Initiative Should be Promoted Or Killed Henchman 104 - Keeping Your Henchman Loyal: Public Punishments for Henchmen Who Show Initiative, Snitches to the Government, Or Otherwise Need To Be Made An Example Of
Propaganda 101 - The History And Importance Of Propaganda Propaganda 102 - Methods of Propaganda Propaganda 201 - Advanced Methods of Propaganda In Art, Architecture, Music, and Recreation Propaganda 401 - Masters Seminar on Propaganda usage in the Evil Lair
Sociology 101 - Making Lies Into Truth Sociology 102 - The Beehive Mentality and It's Use in the Evil Organization Sociology 103 - Doublespeak: Your Most Efficient Weapon For Homogeneity
Lair Building 101 - The Basics of the Evil Lair I Lair Building 102 - The Basics of the Evil Lair II Lair Building 201 - Advanced Lair Design Based on Usage Expectation I Lair Building 202 - Advanced Lair Design Based on Usage Expectation II Lair Building 301 - Hiding Your Lair Lair Building 302 - Undetectable Power Sources For Your Lair Lair Building 401 - Master's Seminar on Lair Design for Volcanos Lair Building 402 - Master's Seminar on Underwater Lair Design Lair Building 403 - Master's Seminar on Moon-based Lair Design
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MikeG
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Sun Jun-27-04 06:52 PM
Response to Original message |
1. That's some long range planning, Beelzebub. |
Don_G
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Sun Jun-27-04 06:52 PM
Response to Original message |
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Especially their Business Ethics.
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Rabrrrrrr
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Sun Jun-27-04 06:54 PM
Response to Reply #2 |
5. We'll call it Methodology 101 - Case Studies: Evil Corporations |
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Methodology 102 - Case Studies: Evil Organizations Methodology 103 - Case Studies: Evil Governments Methodology 104 - Case Studies: The Republican Party
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Don_G
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Sun Jun-27-04 07:23 PM
Response to Reply #5 |
24. I Think You're Too Late |
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Bill Gates has already purchased Evil from Satan in a $2.7 Billion deal: http://bbspot.com/News/2000/4/MS_Buys_Evil.html
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Rabrrrrrr
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Sun Jun-27-04 07:27 PM
Response to Reply #24 |
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"Satan founded evil close to the beginning of time"
Great stuff!
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GOPisEvil
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Sun Jun-27-04 06:53 PM
Response to Original message |
3. I believe the term "henchmen" is not politically correct these days. |
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Edited on Sun Jun-27-04 06:54 PM by GOPisEvil
The correct term is "Men of Hench".
Oh, an addition to your Lair Building series: A class on self-destruct mechanisms.
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VelmaD
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Sun Jun-27-04 06:55 PM
Response to Reply #3 |
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PERSON of Hench, ya sexist pig. :P
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GOPisEvil
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Sun Jun-27-04 06:56 PM
Response to Reply #8 |
10. Well, females could be referred to as "Women of Hench". |
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"People of Hench" works, too.
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AmyStrange
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Sun Jun-27-04 07:11 PM
Response to Reply #10 |
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I'm sorry but that just cracked me up and I had to throw it into the discussion also. Are there any documented cases of a henchwomen? I don't remember any women ever being a hench?
2 cents
d
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jukes
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Sun Jun-27-04 10:55 PM
Response to Reply #22 |
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Bonnie Parker,Mata Hari, Delilah, Lilith, Pickles : so many bonny hench-lasses, & you can't think of 1?
SHAME!
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WoodrowFan
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Mon Jun-28-04 05:17 PM
Response to Reply #8 |
64. person has the word SON |
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so it should be offspring of hench.
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Rabrrrrrr
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Sun Jun-27-04 06:55 PM
Response to Reply #3 |
9. No, it should be People Of Hench |
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You are right to correct my non-PCness. Even evil masterminds have been subjugated under that nefarious bit of sensitivity.
Self-destruct mechanism - ESSENTIAL! Thanks!
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achtung_circus
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Sun Jun-27-04 07:26 PM
Response to Reply #9 |
25. What about wench of hench? nt |
baldguy
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Sun Jun-27-04 08:36 PM
Response to Reply #9 |
37. The Kingdom of Hench has a long and illustrious history. |
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Located along the SE coast of Anatolia, their warriors were chosen by Constantine V in 745 AD to act as his personal bodyguard.
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alvis
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Sun Jun-27-04 06:53 PM
Response to Original message |
4. Have dubya be the guest lecturer |
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that would be a true evil to inflict upon a class.
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Liberal Veteran
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Sun Jun-27-04 06:54 PM
Response to Original message |
6. Republicanism 310 - Being Evil in the comfort of your trailer park |
zanana
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Sun Jun-27-04 06:54 PM
Response to Original message |
7. Reformed smokers and alcoholics 101. |
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(How to be even more annoying).
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Salviati
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Sun Jun-27-04 06:56 PM
Response to Original message |
11. You also need Lair Building 250 |
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The most avoidable flaws in Lair design.
Including topics such as:
Air ducts Inflammable chemical storage Self-destruct mechanisms as well as other topics at instructors discretion
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AmyStrange
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Sun Jun-27-04 06:57 PM
Response to Original message |
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Edited on Sun Jun-27-04 07:05 PM by AmyStrange
or would that be covered in the general classes?
d
(EDITED: a class on torture?)
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MikeG
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Sun Jun-27-04 06:57 PM
Response to Original message |
GOPisEvil
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Sun Jun-27-04 06:59 PM
Response to Reply #13 |
15. Oh, how about a class on dressing for evil success? |
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Both for the evil lord and the people of hench.
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Rabrrrrrr
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Sun Jun-27-04 07:01 PM
Response to Reply #15 |
18. Yes, another essential class! Evil Design 101 - Branding Your Organization |
Sporadicus
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Sun Jun-27-04 06:58 PM
Response to Original message |
14. You're Like Lex Luthor |
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Why can't you use your powers for good?
(apologies to Jerry Seinfeld)
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Rabrrrrrr
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Sun Jun-27-04 06:59 PM
Response to Original message |
16. Practical 101 - Avoiding The "Goldfinger Effect:" |
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Drilling into the students the danger of setting up some complicated killing device to get rid of your nemesis, then leaving, and having all your people of hench leave, as soon as you turn it on after you've told the guy the entirety, down to every intricate detail, of what you plan to do.
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Pale Blue Dot
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Sun Jun-27-04 07:00 PM
Response to Original message |
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Psychology 103: How to Slowly Reveal Your Evil Plan to the Hero, Giving Him Time to Plot His Escape and Defeat You.
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AmyStrange
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Sun Jun-27-04 07:03 PM
Response to Original message |
19. I'll be happy to teach the psychopath classes? |
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I have a secret evil degree that I can't show to anyone. Not even to the one and only great Rabrrrrrr!
Can we work around that somehow?
d
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Kellanved
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Sun Jun-27-04 07:04 PM
Response to Original message |
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Language 101: German accent Language 201: Hiding a German accent
Law 201: Twisting the Constitution
Journalism 101: Making the Constitution appear twisted
...
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Hepburn
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Sun Jun-27-04 07:06 PM
Response to Original message |
21. Bush 101. That would be all that is needed. n/t |
StaggerLee
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Sun Jun-27-04 07:12 PM
Response to Original message |
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I don't know what section it would fall under.
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FizzFuzz
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Sun Jun-27-04 07:37 PM
Response to Original message |
27. Rhetoric:being evil but sounding virtuous |
achtung_circus
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Sun Jun-27-04 07:57 PM
Response to Original message |
28. With luck you will have a wide assortment of unemployed evildoers |
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to choose from after November. Start accepting resumes, but don't lock into faculty until then.
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Khephra
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Sun Jun-27-04 08:02 PM
Response to Original message |
29. Just go to Miskatonic U. instead of starting a new college |
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Here's a list of their programs and classes. http://www.yankeeclassic.com/miskatonic/They have what you need. :evilgrin:
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SOteric
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Sun Jun-27-04 08:07 PM
Response to Original message |
30. Science is all well and good, but a well-rounded curriculum |
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will include some Arts & Letters as well. May I recommend some elective coursework in Greed, Sloth, Pride, Lust, etc...
And after your accredited, you’ll want to lure in some Internationally recognised Evil Masterminds and offer graduate coursework in Nuclear Terrorism, and the Weekend Plot to Take over the World.
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Rabrrrrrr
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Sun Jun-27-04 08:19 PM
Response to Reply #30 |
31. Absolutely! Evil Masterminds MUST be well versed in the classics |
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and literate.
I'll also have to include courses in Opera, Food Appreciation, Understanding Wine, and many language courses, especially in the dead languages so that they can read evil and religious literature from the beginnings of civilization.
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2cents
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Sun Jun-27-04 08:23 PM
Response to Original message |
32. Media Subjugation - Advanced n/t |
baldguy
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Sun Jun-27-04 08:26 PM
Response to Original message |
33. What? No MBA program? |
Rabrrrrrr
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Sun Jun-27-04 08:32 PM
Response to Reply #33 |
35. Dude, I'm doing "Evil". Not "unethical". I *do* believe in some limits! |
Endangered Specie
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Sun Jun-27-04 08:32 PM
Response to Original message |
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Creationism 101 - Debunking Evolution I Creationism 201 - Debunking Evolution II Creationism 301 - Debunking Evolution III Creationism 401 - Debunking Evolution IV Creationism 501 - Debunking Evolution V Creationism 131 - Ad Hominem Attacks against Evolutionists Creationism 141 - Equal Time, how to win it in Court I Creationism 241 - Equal Time, how to win it in Court II Creationism 351 - Advanced Attack Techniques Creationism 112 - Turning facts to your side I Creationism 212 - Turning facts to your side I Creationism 312 - Turning facts to your side I Creationism 012 - Probability and Statistics for Evangelicals
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Endangered Specie
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Sun Jun-27-04 08:34 PM
Response to Original message |
36. A series on Reagonomics: |
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Reagan 101 - Intro to Reagan Reagan 121 - 421 Reagonimics I-IV Reagan 493S - Activisim: Reagan on the $10 Reagan 494S - Activisim: Reagan on the $20 Reagan 495S - Activisim: Reagan on the $.10 Reagan 499S - Activisim: Reagan on Mt. Rushmore
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IronLionZion
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Sun Jun-27-04 08:39 PM
Response to Original message |
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How to blame everything on Clinton and the CIA. Or a lack of intelligence.
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Endangered Specie
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Sun Jun-27-04 08:42 PM
Response to Original message |
39. Oh, how could I forget these: |
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Deutsches Reich 101 - Introduction, learning to salute, basic German. Deutsches Reich 331 - Literature: Mein Kampf, A masterpiece. Deutsches Reich 141 - Fear I Deutsches Reich 241 - Fear II Deutsches Reich 341 - Fear III Deutsches Reich 441 - Fear IV Deutsches Reich 121 - Hitler, the man, his vision, the passion. Deutsches Reich 205 - Project course: forming your own Schutzstaffel. Deutsches Reich 211 - The Music of The Glorious Third Reich Deutsches Reich 105 - Physical activity requirement: Marching. Deutsches Reich 305 - How to burn down houses of parliment, and not get caught. Deutsches Reich 271 - Oratory, how to mezmorize a nation I Deutsches Reich 371 - Oratory, how to persuade the people II Deutsches Reich 471 - Oratory, dictatorial control III Deutsches Reich 399S - (Requires Audition) Songs of the Sturm Abteilung
Im sure there will be more to add.
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Rabrrrrrr
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Sun Jun-27-04 08:51 PM
Response to Reply #39 |
40. Deutsches Reich 601 - Night of the Long Knives as Hermeneutical Model |
Endangered Specie
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Sun Jun-27-04 08:54 PM
Response to Reply #40 |
42. good one. btw... that anniversery is Wednesday... |
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June 30 1934... Ironic date huh?
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Rabrrrrrr
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Sun Jun-27-04 08:52 PM
Response to Reply #39 |
41. Your oratory classes are excellent! |
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A wondrous addition to the catalogue.
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gmoney
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Sun Jun-27-04 08:55 PM
Response to Original message |
43. It's all right here... |
Rabrrrrrr
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Sun Jun-27-04 09:04 PM
Response to Reply #43 |
46. OMG! That's awesome! I just ordered a Planet Kerbanger! |
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Gonna use it with my first Ph.D. student.
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Endangered Specie
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Sun Jun-27-04 08:59 PM
Response to Original message |
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Newspeak 121 - Elementary Newspeak I Newspeak 122 - Elementary Newspeak II Newspeak 221 - Intermediate Newspeak Newspeak 321 - Advanced Newspeak II
Sewing 101 - Basic Hakenkreuz designs Sewing 201 - Eagles, more Eagles, and Iron Fists Sewing 311 - SS Uniforms Sewing 312 - Brownshirts Sewing 224 - White Robe Designs
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baldguy
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Sun Jun-27-04 08:59 PM
Response to Original message |
45. Spring theatrical production: |
Endangered Specie
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Sun Jun-27-04 10:35 PM
Response to Reply #45 |
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heil to me im the kraut whosw out to change our history...
I like that one, its not evil!
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solinvictus
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Sun Jun-27-04 10:15 PM
Response to Original message |
47. Management and Planning 101 |
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Advising the student to NEVER tell the British agent his plans, the design of his WMD, and the greatest weakness of said WMD.
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Rabrrrrrr
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Sun Jun-27-04 10:41 PM
Response to Original message |
49. Zoological Mysticism 301: Choosing your Totemic/Iconic Evil Pet |
jukes
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Sun Jun-27-04 10:51 PM
Response to Original message |
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but your small-business loan has been disapproved.
our research indicates that the market for this sort of skill-training is currently glutted; between the boy scouts of american, pnac, bob jones university, state militias, & fundamentalist cults there remains little of this financial pie still available for consumption.
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Rabrrrrrr
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Sun Jun-27-04 11:18 PM
Response to Reply #50 |
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Nicely said! And leave us not forget Walmart, Haliburton, Cheney, the Bush family, freerepublic.com, the Heritage Foundation, and FOX "news"
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LTR
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Sun Jun-27-04 11:40 PM
Response to Original message |
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Instructor: John Ashcroft
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WoodrowFan
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Mon Jun-28-04 05:19 PM
Response to Reply #53 |
Rabrrrrrr
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Mon Jun-28-04 02:25 PM
Response to Original message |
54. We need another round for the Monday afternoon crowrd |
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who, having gone back to work after a weekend, will be a singularly evil and foul mood.
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NewJeffCT
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Mon Jun-28-04 02:33 PM
Response to Original message |
55. If I was an evil overlord... |
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Check out this oldie but goodie list and go from there: http://www.eviloverlord.com/lists/overlord.html
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omshanti
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Mon Jun-28-04 02:45 PM
Response to Original message |
56. Economics 101 - War Profiteering (Lecturer: Dick Cheney) |
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Econ 102 - Blackmail and extortion Econ 103 - Money Laundering
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Rabrrrrrr
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Mon Jun-28-04 04:10 PM
Response to Reply #56 |
57. Ooh! Good call - money laundering is a necessity for evil mastermind |
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Gotta figure out a way to pay the People of Hench and also to buy doomsday devices without any figuring out where the money is coming from, and how that money was earned. :-)
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nothingshocksmeanymore
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Mon Jun-28-04 04:15 PM
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58. Too late...read The Mask of Sanity by Herve Cleckley |
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then rip him off mercilessly :D
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Rabrrrrrr
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Mon Jun-28-04 04:21 PM
Response to Reply #58 |
59. It's out of print, sadly. But I've had this book on my wishlit for a while |
nothingshocksmeanymore
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Mon Jun-28-04 05:15 PM
Response to Reply #59 |
61. It's available online.. |
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I'll send you the link later
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Rabrrrrrr
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Mon Jun-28-04 05:17 PM
Response to Reply #61 |
63. Excellent! I look forward to it! |
Hand
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Mon Jun-28-04 04:48 PM
Response to Original message |
60. Political Science 101... |
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The Teachings of Leo Strauss.
:evilgrin:
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WoodrowFan
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Mon Jun-28-04 05:17 PM
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lesson 1: DON'T Keep James Bond alive so you can gloat. Just kill him!
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BigMcLargehuge
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Mon Jun-28-04 05:21 PM
Response to Original message |
66. fashion design 101: Henchperson's uniform, orange or yellow? |
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