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I have never been an atheist, closest I've been is an agnostic. So, I am pretty convinced I really don't know anything!
My idea of pantheism doesn't really involve divinity in any particular thing, but that all is divine. The stars, the nothingness, the rocks, the trees, the water - all matter and non-matter as it exists now and has always. I think the universe is one organism, possibly a speck in the existence of all existence - a molecule, maybe. It is the energy that moves all animate and inanimate objects. It is the energy that Is. As we become, we are a part of that energy and when our physical beings end, our energy remains as it was before. I'm not a scientist, but I believe energy never goes away, it simply transforms. Although, when a pendulum swings, it will eventually stop. I don't know about that. I just don't have the information right now to carry that thought through. Maybe, somebody can help me?
I believe completely in free will. I don't see any reason why being of one being would stop us from acting as we wish - within the limits of our genetic wiring. I believe there is much about who we are that is simply the way we are wired. The fact we are artists, or writers, or singers, or like to contemplate spiritual and scientific and political ideas is really in our genes. Nature made us this way. We cannot help that we are liberal, or conservative, by nature. We cannot help that we love a certain type of music, or play sports, or not. It is in our programming. So, really, is free will a mirage? It could be. But, though we may be wired to play classical piano does not mean we are pre-programmed to kill our neighbor. Some of us are more likely to do that, but our wiring is not absolute. We can overcome it - some of it.
I don't think anything is "in control" except for the laws of nature. Tree tops grow towards the sky and the roots into the ground for a reason. It is the way trees survive. I don't think there is anyone directing anything - this way, or that, but I hope, only because I don't like the thought of total independence, there is some way to tap into good "karma" so to speak - to seek positive energy - so I do pray. Whether it works, or not, it makes me feel better. I think it works. Who, or what, do I pray to? I don't know. I don't think it matters who, or what it is, it's the attempt at a connection with the energy that matters. It's the attempt that creates more energy.
I'm thinking about your reference to harm and I believe as there is positive energy there is also negative energy. Yes, things can be harmed, but rocks? I don't think a rock can be harmed - changed - not harmed. What do you think? Does any of what I said make sense?
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