So I turn on the morning shows...

[Tsiyu]

Alright. It has been Slacker Summer Camp at my house. So we get up early this Monday and I switch on the TV, which has been surrendered to video games for over a month. Now, I know there is only going to be drivel on the morning network shows ( I have Kuntry Kable- some stereo wire duct-taped to the wall attached to an aluminum easel resting on the rafters of the front step porch. We get three channels)

After a weekend smash movie - a cultural phenomenon if you will - after Iraqis getting handed back their country (hahahaha) and with a Marine held captive, all I get are- NBC Announcer dude eating while chick cooks, CBS - probably a good story about a musician?entertainer? but not what I need to learn about today, and ABC - some grunt from the UK? talking about Camilla Parker Bowles. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's like they are just intentionally asking us to do what Cheney asked Leahy to do. They are out of touch. I turned the crap off. It's not even acceptable for my children to watch the prostitution of our media. And I remind myself, its only a product.

So I go make biscuits. If anyone wants it, I have the best biscuit recipe in the world, given to me by a cook who worked for me- an honest-to-god beer-swillin', four-wheel-driving, mountain mama. What the hell, if it's all about recipes, entertainment and the British Royals, it's all okay and I'll recipe swap, too.......

[Nicholas D Wolfwood]

1. Welcome to DU!

You're clearly amongst good and like company here! :yourock: :grouphug: :toast:

[sweettater]

2. Can you post your recipe?

I can cook but biscuits have always been my downfall. My mother-in-law made the best but I haven't got her recipe and knack for making them. Thanks in advance.

[Tsiyu]

3. Biscuits-Breakfast of Champions

The key to biscuits is: DO NOT handle the dough too much. You hold it and treat it with tenderness for the tenderest biscuits.

I am an eyeball baker so I can't be exact on amounts, but there are only three ingredients:

Good quality Mayonnaise

Best Quality Self-Rising Flour ( White Lily in these parts)

Buttermilk



Take about 4 cups of flour and cut in 3/4 c. mayonnaise. You can use a fork. You want to just barely see the mayo collect the flour into crumbs. If the above ratio turns the flour into more gooey separate pieces, add more flour. If you can bairly see the "grains" where the flour/mayo mix, add maybe a tad more mayo. When properly mixed it should resemble a mix like Bisquik before you add anything to it.

Add buttermilk a little bit at a time. Only mix til flour is moistened, and mix SLOWLY and GENTLY. You want a very soft dough. DO NOT OVERMIX.

On a floured board/table, pour out dough. You do not need to knead this, merely gently pat it out to 1" thick. Sprinkle flour if it is gooey enough to stick to your hand. Cut with a floured glass rim ( jar or drinking glass) of your choosing. PLace on unbaked cookie sheet, sprinkle milk over tops of biscuits, bake in preheated 400 degree oven.

After they've turned golden, take them out, brush with butter and you're set....

It takes a few times to get them right but keep playing. They are so worth it and you can bake a dozen for the price of one biscuit at McD's or such ( perfect for poor people like me with many mouths to feed!)