Woman, 43, gets 60 days for raping son's teen pal at slumber party

[matcom]

<snip>

A Nassau County judge sentenced a Port Washington woman Monday to 60 days in jail and 10 years of probation for raping a 15-year-old boy, officials said.

Marilu Fischetti, 43, was convicted March 18 of third-degree statutory rape, third-degree sodomy and endangering the welfare of a child for sexual acts she committed on March 2, 2003 with her son's 15-year-old friend during the son's slumber party at her home.

"We're pleased that the judge sentenced her to a period of incarceration," said Joy Watson, chief of Nassau's Sex Offense and Domestic Violence Bureau and the assistant district attorney who prosecuted the case. "It was certainly a crime deserving of that type of sentence."

Paul R. Delle, Fischetti's defense attorney, said, "Given the jury's verdict, I think it was a fair sentence." Referring to his client, he said, "She of course is upset, but she understands that the jury found her guilty. I believe it was a fair trial."

The former teacher's aide will serve her jail time at the Nassau jail in East Meadow, Watson said. She will have to agree to spot polygraph examinations and counseling or therapy as directed by the office of probation.

http://www.newsday.com/news/local/longisland/ny-lisent0629,0,7809331.story?coll=ny-liminute-headlines

[hlthe2b]

1. Ewwwwww

I wish someone could do a formal study of what causes adults to think they can do this kind of thing with teens- especially with women. Is this true pedophilia or something else? (e.g., some "societal" influence that led her to believe this was "naughty but acceptable behavior?") Yuck... With some of the more publicized incidents the women had deluded themselves (and their victims) into thinking they had a sincere long-term "love" relationship, which while disgusting, somehow seems more readly rationalized than a woman raping her son's friends. I just don't get it....

No jokes please... I really am baffled by this kind of thing, as I can't imagine doing something like this any more than I could ever think of hurting an animal (disparate comparisons, but best analogy I could think of)...

[WillParkinson]

2. I'm curious...

Have you noticed how many of the women were 'teachers' or 'teachers aides'?

[johnnie]

3. I was thinking the same thing

One was posted here yesterday, then this one. And off the top of my head I am remembering the one were the teacher had the kid kill her husband, and the other one were the teacher was jailed and right after she was released they busted her again. And she ended up having his child. All teachers or aides.

[mac56]

7. Sometimes people are drawn to work with what they're obsessed with.

nm

[HEyHEY]

13. I'm curious

TO know why I was never lucky enough to have one of these women as a teacher

[truthspeaker]

36. I don't think it's "pedophilia" because he was 15

It's normal to be attracted to 15-year-olds. It's not normal to act on it.

[Ganja Ninja]

4. Here's another sex crazed teacher gone wild.

This one’s been out for a while. The teacher involved with her student is SMOKING HOT!

http://www.tampabaylive.com/stories/2004/06/040625lafave.shtml

Why didn't I have a teacher like this when I was 14?

[Mike Daniels]

5. She's also FRICKIN' DISTURBED

What makes a 20 something woman (married or not) pursue a sexual relationship with a child vs. someone who's at least 18 years old? Something either snapped her synapses some time back or she's just a degenerate plain and simple.

Everyone talks about how lucky the kid is or "man, where was she when I was that age?" yet, how many of these kids end up dealing with issues further down the road.

[hlthe2b]

22. Exactly.... A young boy should not be forced to engage in sexual activity

before he is ready, no more than a girl.... His peers might laud him with "machismo appreciation or envy," but psychologically it could be devastating. Suppose he did not "perform" as he thought he should. Suppose she said something intentionally or unintentionally to that effect. Kids are so vulnerable at that age and damages to their self-esteem can have lifelong consequences.

This is not something to joke about, even if the woman were "hot." We laughed at the scene in the Graduate, but Dustin Hoffman's character was of age. Even joking justifications have a way of leading some to think this is acceptable. IMO, men should be very cautious about making light of this issue.

[mac56]

23. Great answer, hlthe.

Thank you.

[hlthe2b]

27. I'm relieved to see many enlightened males here....

thanks...

[BiggJawn]

68. So we're less "vunerable" at 18?

Whole lot YOU know.

" Suppose she said something intentionally or unintentionally to that effect. Kids are so vulnerable at that age and damages to their self-esteem can have lifelong consequences. "

Here's a news flash for you: Even ADULT males have "anxiety" and "performance issues". Some of those also result in "life-long consequences".
In fact, I'd venture a guess that the older a man gets, the more anxiety he has, given this culure's focus on youth and all that shit.

All that said, I agree that these women should wait until the boys are high school seniors before coming on to them. They're "legal" then....

[mac56]

69. High school seniors are still students.

These teachers would still be violating their roles with them.

[BiggJawn]

82. True. I mispoke. n/t

[hlthe2b]

71. Heavens... I NEVER said that this issue was only one for

teens. While the anxiety can certainly be an issue for any male (just as aging, looks, and sexual atractiveness and response issues are for nearly all women), perspective and coping skills come with age and experience. That is the underlying reason that I perceive teens as being more vulnerable

So much seeming anger in your post toward mine, BigJ-- I'm at a loss to know what you thought I was saying to make you so.... I certainly meant nothing offensive...

[BiggJawn]

83. Sorry, nothing personal...

Just had a flash-back to an earlier time when it was SOOOOOOOOO much easier than it is now. I think what i was wanting to articulate was that I think teen-age boys are a helluva lot more resilient than people give them credit for. Hell, when I was 15, I wasn't SMART enough to worry about stuff like "self-esteem"

"...perspective and coping skills come with age and experience."

Don't know about the perspective, but the "coping skills" ARE easier once you don't have to rely on a fake ID at the package store...

[mac56]

6. Long thread about this yesterday.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=105&topic_id=1331545&mesg_id=1331545

Doesn't matter how she looks. Doesn't matter whether the teenaged boy enjoyed it. She's an adult preying on underage kids, so she's a pedophile.

A "smoking hot" pedophile is still a pedophile. She still fucks with kids' heads.

And if you had been sexually manipulated by a teacher like this when you were 14, I doubt you'd be happy about it today.

[7th_Sephiroth]

8. tell me

did the "kid" complain?

[mac56]

10. Hard to tell.

He told all to his parents at a point when he still could have lied and covered it up. Clearly he knew something about this wasn't right, no matter how good it may have felt.

People just assume the kid was completely happy about this (nudge-nudge, wink-wink). Not necessarily true. Maybe he was real religious, or maybe he was gay. Maybe he thought it was weird and creepy that a married "smoking hot" woman would come on to him for sex. Maybe he was afraid he'd fail the class, or that her husband would beat the shit out of him. Maybe he was intimidated and would have preferred to take his chances with girls his own age. Maybe he was afraid teacher was pregnant. All manner of possibilities.

[7th_Sephiroth]

12. true

but when i was his age i wouldent have cared, to be honest

[Ganja Ninja]

15. It was the kid's cousin that spilled the beans.

He was overheard by one of his parents talking about it and they call his parents.

[mac56]

17. And then the kid told the parents the whole story.

Still could have covered it up and called his cousin a liar.

[7th_Sephiroth]

19. sounds like

someone was jealous

[hlthe2b]

14. I wonder if this kind of pervasive attitude by many guys...

(that sex with a "hot" adult female is almost prestigious and nothing for a young teen to complain about) may be what gave the woman the "license" to think it was acceptable?

7th_Sephiroth, I'm not meaning to single you out-you just happened to be the one to voice the thought... It really is a pervasive, almost reflexive attitude in our society.

[7th_Sephiroth]

18. y'know, up until about 120 years ago

the marrying age was 10,, the body is mentally and physically ready for sex at that age, this whole 18 bullshit was drafted by senators blinded by the thought of thier daughters loosing thier "sweet angelic innocense" so they passed the law by the same means that they banned weed, racisim.

[mac56]

24. Lots of things are better now than they were 120 years ago.

I rather doubt you'd want to live back then.

[7th_Sephiroth]

28. no i wouldent

butr there are a few things that have gone severely downhill because of religious fundamentalists, like the age for sex thing

[hlthe2b]

25. You have a point and clearly puberty has been coming earlier

and earlier for women for a number of important biological reasons. But, there are both societal and psychological/health safety interests in preventing children from becoming sexually active too early, even if they are "instinctively" ready... While some 10 year old girls can become pregnant biologically, it could have deadly consequences. Arguably, the psychological impact of imposed sex on a very young boy could be equally deadly.

[7th_Sephiroth]

30. 14 is not verry young

and i dont think it was imposed, a slight shift in the way we teach our children about sex would make things far easier

[hlthe2b]

31. I agree that sexual education for teens is important

and part of the needed solution. However, that does nothing for preventing the adult part of the problem.... Unless the woman has an obsessive disorder, she got the impression somehwere that sexual activity with a young teen was acceptable. If many deemphasize the seriousness of her behavior with attitudes that seem to condone (as long as the woman is "hot" ), then do you not see where she might have gotten her impression? How do we deal with that side of the equation?

[7th_Sephiroth]

32. its not pedophilia

pedophilia is wanting children that are prepubesent, i dont know her motivation, how does anyone know that the boy wasent the instagator of the relationship?

[mac56]

33. Pedophilia is attraction to underage kids.

And what if he were the "instigator"? Like another poster noted, horny adolescents aren't expected to know all the consequences of their acts with others. Adults are. She should have said no if he was approaching her.

[7th_Sephiroth]

34. i dont know how exactly it went down

i guess some people are just horny

[mac56]

47. I guess some horny people are just imprisoned.

nm

[7th_Sephiroth]

49. you have to admit

that there really are people out there who are just horny

[mac56]

61. And if they're adults, they're often obligated to keep it zipped.

nm

[7th_Sephiroth]

66. yes but they shouldent be banned

from ever having sex, they find consenting partners and do it behind closed doors

[mac56]

67. Who's banning them from ever having sex?

Straw-man argument.

[7th_Sephiroth]

72. your the one who says

people should "keep it in thier pants"

[mac56]

73. Forever? Certainly not.

Read my post again. I said "often".

[7th_Sephiroth]

85. misread ya, sorry

[Fleshdancer]

50. actually, pedophilia is the sexual attraction to pre adolescent children

There's another word specifically for people who are sexually attracted to teenagers but I can't remember it at this time.

[Guy_Montag]

70. Hebophile (sp) I think.

One thing to consider - in classical Greece it was normal for men to have gay relationships with young boys.

In the Netherlands the age of consent is 14 (I believe). I also remember reading that in parts of Japan it's 12, but I find that hard to believe.

Now why should it be wrong to have sex with a 15 year old in one country and not in another? I suspect there is nothing wrong with having sex with one 15 y/o and it would emotionally destroy another.

Taking it further, I would hypothesize, that the reason this happening is often damaging is that it's unusual. If everyone has sex at that age, it's the ones that don't that are damaged. It's just a theory & I'm not defending paedophiles, because in our culture it's not normal for it to happen.

Getting flippant, I tend to wish that I'd had a teacher like that, I'm fucked up anyway so I might as well have had some fun getting this way. Who knows I might have turned out normal if it had happened.:shrug:

[northzax]

81. no, pedophilia is attraction to prepubescents

This action is inexcusable. no question.

But, there is a serious difference between looking at an attractive teenager and finding them desirable (without, of course, acting on it) and doing the same with a seven year old.

If I see a 17 year old girl (I'm 29, by the way) who is attractive, and think for a moment (as we dogs of men will do) 'wow, she's cute, I'd do her" without, of course acting on it, does that make me a pedophile? I'm interested to know.

[LincolnMcGrath]

84. Nope, doesn't even make you a d o g

[hlthe2b]

37. We don't know that the boy was not the instigator based on the article

Which to me underscores the importance of not sending teens mixed messages on sexual activity with adults. All the sex education in the world is not going to be very successful in conveying a real sense of the consequences of unwanted sex (or consensual sex with an adult which clearly carries very significant consequences for the adult), at the same time their adult male role models deliver a "wink wink nod nod" kind of message.

It is one thing if they become sexually involved with someone near their own age, who are similarly matched in terms of their emotional development. But, to do so with an adult is to place them on a very uneven "playing field." Sometimes the consequences can be devastating.

[7th_Sephiroth]

39. there are alot of varying psychological factors

but not all sex with an older woman is gonna completely screw a kid up and turn him into a recluse or sexually disfunctional

[hlthe2b]

42. NO, of course not....

But, shouldn't we take steps to protect the "weakest" among us--including the most vulnerable children and teens? I don't know how we do so, unless we take steps to protect them all...

[7th_Sephiroth]

43. it comes with education

teaching them that sexual activity is normal (instead of immoral) there are concenquences, the options if those concenquences should occur (abortion, adoptiion, raising it yourself) that no means no, telling them its not dirty or bad, and they should just be carefull but enjoy it stuff like that, instead of the video that is an option for watching in 5th-6th grade. on edit, what you have proposed is traking the easy way out, ban it , make it illegal and it will all go away, instead of giving them the psychological ability to cope with it if they do have a bad experience.

[hlthe2b]

48. So you think there should not be legal consequences for an adult

having sex with an underaged teen? Where (at what age) do you draw the line? Would you (as a parent of a 14 year old) have no problem with your next door neighbor engaging your son or daughter in sexual activity?

[7th_Sephiroth]

54. internationally the age of consent

is around 13/14 years old, i draw the line at actual pedophilia, wich is sex with pre-pubecents. and if i were a parent in the position that my son or daughter past that age were having sex with someone older, i would ofcourse inform them of the concenquences of thier actions(verry long discussion, including pregnancy, makeing sure that they KNOW what they are doing, i did when i was 14, and making sure they arent being forced into it), buy em condoms and go about my way

[hlthe2b]

56. And, should your daughter become pregant at age 11, or your son

become infected with HIV due to the passion of the moment overriding your lesson to use a condom? You could accept that?

[7th_Sephiroth]

57. 11 is different

if that happens i start busting skulls

[hlthe2b]

58. Girls are coming to puberty earlier and earlier. Age 10 is not

uncommon for their first menses anymore. Something about having an adult male neighbor chasing after a 11 year old certainly seems problemmatic to me, no matter how much discussion and education my daughter had had regarding sex.

[7th_Sephiroth]

59. it takes a lifelong education

and proper raising, but i believe in 13 year olds being able to consent, as i said with the proper education instead of whats being given now

[mongo]

76. 13?

Do you really want your 13yo daughter to have sex with a 40yo man?

Maybe 18 is too old. But I think that before that we need some laws to keep predators away from kids.

Two 16yo is different. I think that the age of consent should be 16 with anyone within 3 years of age.

[LincolnMcGrath]

78. "Two 16yo is different."

I agree, but the statutes do not.

[hlthe2b]

80. All I can say is that i'm very glad I did not grow up with the pressure

to have early sex that seems pervasive in junior and senior high schools now. I had a boss (in his 30s) on my first job (at age 14 with a work permit) who showed very inappropriate interest in me-- bordering on sexual harrassment. Fortunately, I found him repulsive and quietly quit before anything could happen. 'Never told anyone, but God what a nightmare that would have been-- to have been involved with a manipulative person like that, given my extreme naivete'. No way I would have been ready to handle something like that, though most adults who knew me then would have considered me "emotionally mature beyond my years."

Maybe things are different with today's teens, but I seriously doubt it.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

51. That is the biggest issue. She's in a position of trust both as a parent

and as a teacher's aide and completely violated the trust placed in her on both accounts. She took advantage of his age, vulnerability and even took advantage of her son's slumber party...of course I am waiting for a particluar poster named after a famous war movie to show up and claim the young man was just a golddigger, ;)

[mac56]

62. good answer, NSMA

nm

[NashVegas]

65. Little More to It

Age of consent laws rose hand in hand with laws that enabled women to own property. That's not insignificant.

[Zomby Woof]

21. it's just ignorance hlthe...

Self-centered think-only-with-my-dick jollies, and the inability to distinguish from their own juvenile fantasies and what is healthy adult behavior. Teenage boys aren't expected to know their boundaries completely yet, but an ADULT WOMAN (or ADULT MAN) is.

[Ganja Ninja]

26. The modern definition of a pedophile is something that has ...

only come about in the last half of the 20th century and in western countries. My Grandmother was married at the turn of the century (1900) and was only 13 years old. She stayed happily married her whole life to the same man and died in her 80's.

Not that I'm trying to defend pedophiles but that's the truth. I've never considered my Grandfather a pedophile.

[mac56]

29. Surely you're not comparing your grandparents' situation to this one?!

Apples and oranges. Your grandparents got married in compliance with the laws in effect at the time. Nothing at all like this situation.

[Ganja Ninja]

35. People are people.

Before we start burning people at the stake for having sex with minors we might want to consider the world and historical norms for behavior. She broke the law but there are worse crimes and the gravity of the offense should be determined by the situation. I wouldn't compare this to a case where a man forces himself on a pre-teen girl.

[mac56]

46. Okay then -

what if had been the father of one of the kids, forcing himself on his child's teenage girl friend? Your double standard is showing.

[Ganja Ninja]

60. Historically there's always been a double standard.

It's a tricky question. A man forcing himself on anyone is a crime naturally. A male minor raping an older woman is a crime. An older woman having unforced sex with a male minor is not a rape in the same sense. Thats a double standard and that's the way it's always been. Punishments should fit the crime and not be meted out on the basis trying to achieve gender equality.

[mac56]

63. "not...meted out...trying to achieve gender equality"

Why not, for heaven's sake?

What's so funny about peace, love, and understanding?

[LincolnMcGrath]

40. Not apples and oranges

Just different eras.
My folks were married at 15

My young neighbors were the same age.(now 21) The difference is my young neighbor is now a sexual predator who has to register on the offender list! Her folks got upset, pressed charges, then tried to drop them, even though HE was a virgin and SHE had lost her virginity @ 13 to a different young man.

Society's overreaction to the really bad apples has caused many to suffer unjustly.

[mac56]

44. Society has to react to the really bad apples.

That's what a society is for. Whether something is an over- or under-reaction is always viewed with 20-20 hindsight.

[LincolnMcGrath]

52. ALL reactionary laws are wrong

3 strikes sounds good at face value, but is fatally flawed.

Stopping a 40 yr old from raping a 2yr old sounds good too, but the REACTIONARY laws have caused 10s of thousands to be labeled pedos.


Don't even get me started on the war on drugs. lol

[mac56]

64. Re: the war on drugs

Would you say that drug use is a victimless crime?

Would you say that an adult woman, forcing herself sexually on an underage boy who is a guest in her home, is a victimless crime?

Apples and oranges.

[LincolnMcGrath]

74. Can we stay on point please/

The War on drugs has hurt 1000x as many as the drugs themselves.

The POINT was Reactionary statutes.

At no point in any of my posts have I mentioned the woman in the original thread subject.

Try to focus

[mac56]

75. Then why did you post on this thread?

If not to comment on the original story?

Looks like you could use a little focusing yourself.

[LincolnMcGrath]

77. Thanks for caring!

I posted in conjunction to the post of Sentinel Chicken.

We are, as a nation, less then one generation away from an era when adolescents married all the time. The difference is, now we label them as felons.

[mac56]

9. How in hell do you explain this to your son?

"Honey, Mommy's got something to tell you..."

[name not needed]

38. your best friend timmy is packin 8 inches

and he knows how to use em! :)

[mac56]

45. I'm seeing years of therapy for this kid.

Probably for "Timmy" and his eight inches, too.

[Fenris]

11. "third-degree sodomy"?

:wtf: does that mean? Who was sodomized? :scared:

[johnnie]

16. Oral sex is considered sodomy n/t

[m-jean03]

20. Not making a joke, but --

I can't help but think this woman/and or boy has been WAY too influenced by multiple viewings of "American Pie".

[Nomad559]

41. Direct link for video

http://real.scripps.com:8480/ramgen/tampalive/news/2004/06/0625teacher.rm

[Fleshdancer]

53. Book recommendation: Harmful To Minors by Judith Levine

Very interesting book.

[LincolnMcGrath]

55. I had an affair with a teacher

She 22yr old band/chorus instructor
Me 18yr old senior fresh outta Boot Camp.


My Dad knew
My Mom didn't

[jukes]

79. another example

of this b/s, sexist , male dominated society. reverse the sexes of victim/perp: wd a man have gotten 60 days?


there ARE female sexual predators, mostly they're stalkers, & it's not a fucking joke. i've been harrassed by 1 in my neighborhood for 8 years; can't get the shurf's department to take it seriously.



:grr: