WillParkinson
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Wed Jun-30-04 10:01 AM
Original message |
I have questions that NEED answers... |
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Tell me this....
Why does your gynecologist leave the room when you get undressed?
If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to the core of the earth?
Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Is it possible to brush your teeth without wiggling your ass?
Why is it called Alcoholics Anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say, 'My name is Bob, and I am an alcoholic'?
If you mated a bulldog and a shitsu, would it be called a bullshit?
Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside?
If croutons are stale bread, why do they come in airtight packages?
Why does mineral water that 'has trickled through mountains for centuries have a 'use by' date?
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp no one would eat?
Is French kissing in France just called kissing?
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out'?
What do people in China call their good plates?
Can you sentence a homeless man to house arrest?
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but not to their crotch when they ask where the toilet is?
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DoverFrank
(91 posts)
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Wed Jun-30-04 10:04 AM
Response to Original message |
1. Why do we park in a driveway and drive in a parkway? |
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"If you mated a bulldog and a shitsu, would it be called a bullshit?"
"Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out'? "
Those are great!
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theivoryqueen
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Wed Jun-30-04 10:23 AM
Response to Original message |
2. I think I'll try the crotch thing at the next fancy gathering I attend. |
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and the dog could also be called a Shitdog - if it were smallish.
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mac56
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Wed Jun-30-04 10:25 AM
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3. Why don't "priceless" and "worthless" mean the same thing? |
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What's a synonym for "thesaurus"? What if there were no rhetorical questions?
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MissMillie
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Wed Jun-30-04 10:28 AM
Response to Original message |
4. Why are certain structures |
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called "buildings" even when they're finished? Shouldn't they be called "builts"?
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eyesroll
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Wed Jun-30-04 10:29 AM
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5. Ooh! Ooh! I know the water one. |
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The water itself doesn't expire. The packaging does -- plastic isn't designed to last forever (even though takes that long to biodegrade). After awhile, the plastic will start eroding. That's also why you see expiration dates on acidic condiments and honey -- honey literally lasts forever (they've pulled edible honey out of pyramids), vinegar almost as long, but their packaging is ephemeral.
And for the record, I can put on mascara with my mouth closed.
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mac56
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Wed Jun-30-04 10:31 AM
Response to Original message |
6. If Seven-Eleven is open all night, why are there locks on the doors? |
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Edited on Wed Jun-30-04 10:31 AM by mac56
Why does sour cream have an expiration date? A Thermos keeps hot things hot and cold things cold. How does it know? Why are they still called "escalators" and "elevators" when they go down?
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WillParkinson
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Wed Jun-30-04 11:06 AM
Response to Reply #6 |
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A friend of mine went to a 24 hour convenience store as the clerk was locking the doors. She said, "Your sign says you're open 24 hours." "Yes," he replied, "But it doesn't say in a row."
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mac56
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Wed Jun-30-04 11:08 AM
Response to Reply #9 |
10. I went to Seven-Eleven.. |
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and asked for a two-by-four and some three-by-fives. The clerk said, "Ten-four." - Steven Wright
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DS1
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Wed Jun-30-04 10:32 AM
Response to Original message |
7. Why are the worst drivers in the country driving tow trucks.. What, |
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do they get passed on after accidents?
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Commie Pinko Dirtbag
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Wed Jun-30-04 10:33 AM
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8. In Brazil there IS an answer to the second question |
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There is an explicit depth limit written in law. Everything below that "belongs" to the government.
In particular, you don't get to keep oil unless it oozes to the surface or very near it. All oil deposits are way below that limit.
Precious minerals are another matter. There have been quite a few gold rushes in Brazil in recent history.
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Thu Apr 25th 2024, 05:57 PM
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