Have you heard O'lielly reading his soft porn? GAG!

[SiouxJ]

O'Franken is a re-run and they were playing that clip of O'lielly reading soft porn from one of his books. OH MY GOD! It's the most nauseating thing I've ever heard! I heard it when it originally aired and it almost made me vomit. Just heard it again and it really made me gag. Have you heard this stuff? First off, he's a horrible sex writer and second, the way he reads it is just, uh, well, nothing would turn me off faster! Better than an ice-cold shower. It's got to be the most un-sexy thing I've ever heard! Can't believe he'd put that out for public consumption! There are some people that should not describe sex acts and he's top of the list. Gag!

[skypilot]

1. "Put that pipe down..

...and get my pipe up"?????

That sentence was burned right into my brain. I was wearing headphones. I literally had to snatch them off. That was the worst shit I've ever heard. And his flat, monotonous reading didn't help. Fucking hack.

[SiouxJ]

5. Lol! Yeah, the pipe line!

"she obediently preformed oral sex on him." - so sexay!

[Fenris]

8. Catholic softcore.

Obedience is the real star here.

[SiouxJ]

10. Yeah, that word stuck out like a sore thumb

coming from him.

[skypilot]

12. "Obediently"????

How creepy is that? This is how he thinks a woman should perform oral sex? Obediently. See my other post regarding how disturbing it is to even contemplate O'Reilly thinking about sex.

[DS1]

2. I've read snippets. The Starr report was more arousing

:eyes:

[SiouxJ]

6. Oh, god, you should hear him read it!

it's a thousand times worse! He has NO personality - like having sex with a robot.

[skypilot]

3. You know what else is really disturbing?

The very thought of O'Reilly thinking about sex. Imagine O'Reilly visualizing this shit in his head before writing it down.

[SiouxJ]

11. Stop it! Stop it!

There's only so much my mind can handle! Sex and O'lielly in the same thought is enough!!!!

[SheepyMcSheepster]

4. yes i heard it when it first aired, hilarious!

"get my pipe up" lol

that zaney o'reilly

[Bronco69]

7. That's just downright disgusting!

n/t

[SiouxJ]

13. Agreed. I'll excuse Al for playing it because he made a good point

he was talking about what a hypocrite O'lielly is. First played a clip of him ranting about the evils of ganster rap (promoting sex and drugs), then the clip of him reading from his book. It was perfect (and yes, disgusting too!).

[Ivan Zero]

31. Calling all gangsta rappers!

Now all that's left is for someone to record a rap called "Get My Pipe Up".

Ludacris (the rapper that O'lielly famously dissed) is just the man for the job.

[MissMillie]

9. Yeah, it's pretty bad.... and what's up

w/ a re-run? Is Al on vacation?

[SiouxJ]

14. He gave the staff the week off

said they all had worked really hard getting the first few months together. I think they deserved it though I do miss 'em!

[zbdent]

15. I made the point before

He wrote that the character was having sex with 15-year olds.

Somehow, that seems to be child pornography, doesn't it?

If you can be arrested and convicted for fantasizing about it in a diary, then why isn't it illegal in his book? Oh, that's right, he's a family-values type of guy.

Wonder how much the teenagers cost according to "family values"? Per hour?

[SiouxJ]

18. Until I read Al's book

I didn't even know he (O'lielly) wrote this kind of crap. Yeah, such a family values guy. I wonder how many of his religious fanatic fans know about this part of him? Bet they'd be shocked!

[digno dave]

36. Is it the saem book that Gibson bought the option to make a movie for?

[GOPisEvil]

16. I just ate...

:puke:

[Fenris]

17. That's what she said!

*rimshot*

[GOPisEvil]

20. Obediently.

[SiouxJ]

19. Sorry, should have put a warning

;-). Then again, Al didn't warn me!!!

:hi: This stuff should be required to have a vomit warning label. I think I'll write the publisher!

[SiouxJ]

21. Oh no! They're playing it again!

Al! Stop!

[GOPisEvil]

22. It's moments like this when I am glad I can't stream radio here at work.

[SiouxJ]

23. "he was standing there naked . .. . and at attention"

wink, wink

:-)

[GOPisEvil]

25. Ewwwww...reminds me of the transcripts from Marv Albert's trial.

Blech!

[skypilot]

24. "Snorkleman"????

What the hell?!

[SiouxJ]

26. I just spewed crackers all over my keys!

uh, from laughing, not, well, you know.

[skypilot]

27. "She spewed crackers all over her keys...

...as Snorkleman fondled her perky breasts from behind..."

[SiouxJ]

28. "Why Snorkelman, you have such a big

hard drive." She giggled in delight.



We aren't even really trying and we can be as bad as him, lol .

[skypilot]

29. See what you can accomplish...

...by not really trying. He'll go far.

[SiouxJ]

30. He already has, from one tabloid news show to another

I actually liked him a little when he hosted Inside Edition. At least he was harmless then.

[DS1]

34. Snorkelman attacked her love cave like a rabid anteater, swirling his

long, throbbing snout against all the tickley bits, as his massive dirt penetrator readied itself for a final, deep, Republican-in-thoroughness probing.

:evilgrin:

[SiouxJ]

35. Wow! You're much more creative than O'lielly

but then again, that's not saying much is it?

tickley bits - lol

[Paragon]

32. Someone's gotta have this on MP3 by now...

C'mon -- I wanna be sickened by it at my own convenience.

[SiouxJ]

33. You really do have to hear it to appreciate

just how bad it is. O'Lielly has all the sex appeal of a brick. He reads his crap writing like a robot. They should force sex addicts to listen to it as a cure.

Hmm, maybe check the AAR archives? Not sure if they're up and running yet but they might be.

[skypilot]

37. Robot

I bet he counts his thrusts.

Actually, now that I think about it, that's probably a good thing for any poor woman who ends up under this jerk (and I can guarantee she'd be on the bottom); if he's busy counting she won't have to worry about him trying to talk dirty. Just imagine it. I know you don't want to but...

[LTR]

38. Okay, a little background please

Did O'Really write soft-core porn in a previous life?

Any books? Titles?

C'mon, you people are holding out on me. I didn't catch Franken today. I gotta know.

[SiouxJ]

39. I don't know where they got this stuff from

Franken mentions it in his "Lies" book and played the "books on tape" version on the show. Maybe someone else knows?

[skypilot]

41. O'Reilly himself...

...apparently wrote a piece of soft porn hack work called something like, "Forgive Them Their Trespasses".

On edit: Correction. The book is titled, "Those Who Trespass".

[TEXASYANKEE]

40. Maybe when he's done ...

He'll read a bit of Lynn Cheney's porno book? ;-)
Those Repubs are really into porn, aren't they?