How the Neo-cons think - Hyperliteralism and the new Political Math.

[Screaming Lord Byron]

So, there I was on a Canadian political board discussing the nature of socialism when a Con troll pops up with this little gem -
'Sure, Socialism's an acceptable idea in theory, but it's been responsible for more deaths than any other idea in human history'
to which the collective response is 'huh? is your crack-pipe jammed?'
Troll continues with this -
'Castro = Communist = Socialist - Thousands Dead
Pinochet = Socialist - Thousands Dead
Stalin = Stalinist = Socialist - Millions Dead
Hitler = Socialist - Worst Dictator In History

Now, ignoring the bizarre claim that General Pinochet was in some way left-of-centre, which is probably the most ignorant historical reference ever, I think this comment displays perfectly a crucial part of neo-con thinking. To wit - I claim X has something in common with Y, therefore X is Y.
It's Hyperliteralism, and its what our opponents do best. Never mind that it involves taking the claims of Adolf Hitler as gospel fact, its a simple, easy-to-understand dogmatic trick that can satisfy any wild-eyed neo-con radical.
Stalin = Communist = Socialist = Liberal = John Kerry

See? Stalin to Kerry in three easy steps.

Of course, the New Political Math works for us too -
Roger Ailes = Favours News Broadcasting with a Conservative Slant = Joseph Goebbels.
Condoleeza Rice = Wants A Stronger Military = Darth Vader
John Ashcroft = Lay Preacher = Scary Dead Guy from Poltergeist II

Why were we bothering with complex, reasoned debate, when all along, simple mathematics held the solution to politics?

[ihaveaquestion]

1. Completing the conservative analogies

Roger Ailes = Favours News Broadcasting with a Conservative Slant = Joseph Goebbels = facist = millions dead
Condoleeza Rice = Wants A Stronger Military = Darth Vader = empirialist = millions dead
John Ashcroft = Lay Preacher = Scary Dead Guy from Poltergeist II = radical theist = millions dead

[Screaming Lord Byron]

2. See? These equations work in every political circumstance.

[Rabrrrrrr]

5. But everything that isn't democracy, you have to stupidly call socialism

So it would go like this:

Roger Ailes = Favours News Broadcasting with a Conservative Slant = Joseph Goebbels = facist = socialist = millions dead
Condoleeza Rice = Wants A Stronger Military = Darth Vader = empirialist = socialist = millions dead
John Ashcroft = Lay Preacher = Scary Dead Guy from Poltergeist II = radical theist = socialist = millions dead


But the rightwing have one distinctg advantage - they are clueless, brainless Jesus Crispies, so facts and truth don't hagve to get in their way, like the utter and significant differences between socialism, dictatorships, fascism, communism, totalitarianism, despotism, etc.

They can just say everything that isn't the US is "socialist" because they're so stupid, they can accept all the logical fallacies and untruth of the statement.

[ihaveaquestion]

6. 'Jesus Crispies' I like that!

My friend and I were just talking about her sister who's a real Jesus Crispie and she said the same thing about logic not being part of their thought process. I don't know how we'll beat these fruitcakes except to run past them with overwhelming numbers. You can't talk to them, we should just dismiss them as radicals and move on. The repugs are able to dismiss anyone they disagree with as a liberal and then they move on to their agenda. We should be able to do the same.

[King Of Paperboys]

3. None of those equations is valid.

I mean, where the hell is Kevin Bacon?

[Screaming Lord Byron]

4. Doesn't get to seven degrees yet.

He usually only makes an appearance after Mussolini.

[Fenris]

7. Nominate this topic, people.

:D Brilliant theory!

Condoleeza Rice = Wants A Stronger Military = Darth Vader

[Screaming Lord Byron]

8. Doesn't it all make sense now?

[Fenris]

9. How could I have been so blind?!

[southpaw]

10. How' s this for twisted math?

Ann Coulter = Right Wing Propagandist = Joseph Goebbels = National Socialist = Socialist = Liberal

So Ann Coulter is a LIBERAL. Therefore she is guilty of Treason!

[Screaming Lord Byron]

11. It is as if a veil has fallen from my eyes.

Logic is a beautiful, beautiful thing.

[denverbill]

12. They are mind-bogglingly dumb that way.

The idea that Hitler was a Socialist is also nuts. Yes, the name of his party was National Socialist German Workers Party, but that was more semantics than anything. Hitler was fervently anti-communist. He disbanded all labor unions and jailed labor leaders. He had the support of the wealthy industrialists and bankers, as well as the military. He didn't nationalize any industries. The wealthy made millions in war profits.

He was also an extreme nationalist xenophobe, just like American conservatives, and launched numerous unprovoked, unjustified attacks on foreign countries based on trumped up charges, ignored international law and opinion, and arrested and tortured innocent civilians.

[Screaming Lord Byron]

13. I wonder why Hitler chose to exploit the word 'Socialism'

I've never quite understood that.

[Guaranteed]

14. Hey, I LIKE Darth Vader...

Leave him alone. :)

[Screaming Lord Byron]

15. He was basically a good guy,

just a little over-zealous on the Galactic Domination file.