Any good first date disaster stories out there?

[Tom_Foolery]

I've had a bunch of bad first dates, but the one that stands out happened when I was 18. I had the hots for this woman, and I spent weeks working up the courage to ask her out. Well, I asked her; and to my surprise, she said yes. I took her to a really nice restaurant. We were having a fairly good time when the manager of the place stopped by our table. He turned out to be a friend of hers, and he decided to sit at our table. He completely took over the conversation and shut me out. I was a dweeb back then, so I didn't have the balls to tell this guy to get lost.

To make a long story short, I turned out to be the person to get these two back together. They were married a few months later and now have about 10 kids...give or take a kid.

What's your story?

[Goldmund]

1. Wow

After that story, any story I could possibly tell you just seems pale in comparison.

[Tom_Foolery]

2. Give it a shot anyway. n/t

[ps1074]

3. second wow

Do they send you a Cristmas card every year?

No real first date disasters for me. But I like reading interesting stories, so guys, post your stories :)

[Tom_Foolery]

6. Nope! All I got was a broken heart...

Just kidding.

[ewagner]

4. Like you,

I tried for months to get a date with this woman....she was "the dream date". I picked her up in my car but on the way over, noticed that the air conditioner wasn't working. It was raining but in Florida, in the summer, that doesn't do much for the heat and humidity. She got in the car and the first thing I noticed was that her perfume was really, really strong (okay, okay...that wasn't the FIRST thing I noticed) We had about a 30 minute drive to the restaurant and it was really hot and humid in the car.....the perfume started to get to me....I started getting dizzy....eventually I had to pull over to the side of the road and got sick from the perfume and cancelled out on dinner....totally disgraced myself...

worst. date. ever.

[Tom_Foolery]

9. I had a friend who had just bought a new car...

He picked up this woman for their first date. Well, she cut one in his car; so he turned around and took her home. He never spoke to her again.

[redwitch]

5. He took me to his house

and introduced me to his entire family seated around the dining room table as "Mary". Mary is not my name. Ugh, I feel queasy thinking about it decades later. What an idiot!

[Worst Username Ever]

7. Worst 1st date movies:

Natural Born Killers (I was 18, she said she wanted to see it, whoops)

Happiness - hey, it sounds like a happy-fun movie, playing at an independant theater at the time. Whoops, it's about a dad who sodomizes his son's friends.

[Logansquare]

35. Similar experience: Spanking the Monkey

about mother-son incest. Not a good date movie, unless you're dating Mom.

[Worst Username Ever]

37. I saw that movie too!

But it was not a date, fortunately. Interesting film...

[Loonman]

8. No, I get stood up every time

Dammit. Never accept a blind date from anyone.

[Melsky]

10. the militant non smoker

I went out with this guy, and he kept bringing up how gross smoking was, and also that he had a job interview the next day.

After dinner, he tells me that he just quit smoking, but he's too nervous about his job interview so he needs a smoke and takes a pack of cigs out of his pocket and starts chain smoking.


That's not really a disaster, but it was pretty funny.


Then there was the time the guy took me to meet his mom on the fist date! I wasn't even sure if it was a date - we were going to the aquarium on a saturday afternoon. But we stopped at his place on the way and I had tea with most of the women in his family, mother, sisters, aunts, grandmother while they all checked me out grilled me.

That was our last date, though he kept calling me.

His family was from Lebanon, and very nice. I would have enjoyed the tea if I wasn't being evaluated as a potential wife.

[trof]

11. Well...strange.

I wasn't exactly a dork in high school, but I wasn't voted "Most Popular" or Homecoming King either. Girl-wise, there was a circle of Heavenly Bodies at altitudes far above mine.

Fast forward 7 or 8 years. I'm a mid 20s bachelor. I get a call from a woman friend.
How ya been? blah blah blah Then "Hey, remember Janie Smith?"
Oh boy. Do I! Head cheerleader, homecoming queen, a body like Brigitte Bardot (look it up), and just generally drop-dead gorgeous. I had some classes with her and knew her to say "Hi" in the hall. That was about it.
"Your name came up the other day and she said she'd like to go out with you."
"No shit? Hey, wait. She's married."
"Was. Been divorced about 6 months and trying to get back in circulation."
Well...um...sure.

I called her and asked her out. She said yes. Sounded enthusiastic. Man oh man.
When I picked her up, I also met her 2 year old son (surprise) and the babysitter. Janie still looked good.
I'd planned on dinner and a movie. The dinner conversation was pretty one-sided, all about her and the highlights of her high school and college days. Bummer. I never knew she was such an airhead. I looked forward to the movie so she'd pipe down.

The ride home was quiet. Neither of us had had a good time and both of us knew the other hadn't. Last date.
When we got back to her apartment there was a very long, awkward moment of saying goodbye with the babysitter there. It wasn't like I was going to put any moves on her anyway, but it just felt very awkward and I didn't know why. I offered to take the b.s. home, but she lived upstairs in the same building.

My friend later told me the long, hemming and hawing, awkward silence was because my date was waiting for me to pay the babysitter. Hell, I'd never dated someone with a kid before. How was I supposed to know?
Anyway...moral of the story...All that glitters is not gold?

[Logansquare]

36. Uh, it's not normally expected that the date pays the babysitter

I see why her husband got out of there.

[eyesroll]

12. I've never had a truly disastrous first date

Then again, I haven't had a first date in more than 10 years (and before that, I was in high school).

I had a truly disastrous a-few-months-into-it date, though. I was 14, the boy was 16-ish, we were at the restaurant before the youth-group formal and a condom fell out of his wallet when he went to pay for something. Now, I was not a prude, and I understood that 16-year-old boys often carry condoms with them, even when they really have no chance of getting sex (wishful thinking? advice of a father/uncle/older brother? just in case? to be cool?). If he just picked it up and put it back, there would have been no harm done.

But. He made a scene: "Oh, you weren't supposed to see that until later! It was going to be a surprise!"

He didn't seem to understand why a 14-year-old virgin didn't want to have surprise sex. (I should add that all of the "should we or shouldn't we" talk we'd had in previous months centered around "um, no, I'm 14 and not ready.") We broke up soon thereafter.

[Fight_n_back]

13. I was on a date recent;ly with a "dancer"

a very, very attractive woman with a good sense of humor plus she really liked me.

So we arrive at the beach for a nighttime stroll and she says, "do you mind if I smoke some crack?".

"Uhh, yes I do as a matter of fact, there is this thing called mandatory minimum sentencing where I will get twenty years just for driving you around so I think I should take you home."

She started to cry and tell me about her rehab issues. It was not really the kind of evening I had in mind.

[underpants]

14. With my now wife - I decide to cook (HUGE mistake) and the bug

I asked her over for dinner at my place and I was going to impress her with my cooking. First of all it was clean but a bachelor pad-indoor/outdoor carpet in the kitchen and bathroom and a rubber chicken to pull on the light in the bathroom.

I cooked for myself so pretty much anything passed the test. I decided to be adventurous and cook a meal that I actually had impressed myself with. Frozen veggies that you just cooked the meat and added. I was browning the ground beef and when I pulled out the veggies from the freezer it was sweet and sour-which I hate anyway but sweet and sour ground beef? It was HORRIBLE I ended up taking her down the street to a restaurant.

While setting the table (little marble thing I had just bought) we were talking and I opened the cabinet to get the plates and out dropped what to this day I still say was a water bug but she swears it was a roach-Biggest I have ever seen either way. The only bug I ever saw in that apartment.

[GOPisEvil]

16. Indoor/outdoor carpeting in the kitchen?!

Rubber chicken light switch?!

And she still married you?! She must be SOME woman!

[underpants]

17. Crappy flooring

Hey it was cheap and easy to keep clean :shrug:

The rubber chicken was a big favorite with the ladies.

[GOPisEvil]

18. No wonder I'm still single!

I have light switches and tile...

[underpants]

21. 3rd floor walk up

That was one helluva hike.

I just trolled off a friend of mine and his current girlfriend's girlfriends. Hey what ya gonna do?

[Tom_Foolery]

20. The rubber chicken is pure genius!! n/t

[underpants]

23. Thank you thank you

My wife finally made me get rid of it a few months ago. It was getting a bit gamey in the closet.

[Tom_Foolery]

25. Well, if my wife and I ever get to do Trading Spaces...

I want you for my designer. I like the Three Stooges motif.

[underpants]

32. I almost forgot-with the rope tied in a noose

Nice touch huh?

[Tom_Foolery]

33. Wow! Three Stooges decor accented with a little Addams Family...

Excellent!!

[Beaker]

15. just think if you had pickd a different restaurant...

man...you'll be kicking yourself forever over that one.

[Tom_Foolery]

19. Yeah, that's why I wonder if there really is such a thing as fate...

She was a babe, too. I was lucky she even went out with me.

[TrogL]

22. I got really, really sick

I had lived next door to this girl since I was born but she was a little older. She had a bad marriage and was about a year out of divorce. I had just lost my wife in a car accident.

Five minutes into the date, I came down with the sniffles, ten minutes later I was coughing and sneezing, then I was nauseous, then I threw up, then I started coughing up blood.

I took it as an omen.

In hindsight, it wouldn't have worked.

[TrogL]

24. I got really, really drunk

I visited her apartment. She got out the champagne - lots of champagne. Part way through the second bottle I got drunk and obnoxious and she threw me out. Five minutes later I knocked on her door crying so she let me back in to sleep it off 'cause I obviously wasn't in any condition to drive.

[sundog]

26. yes, attempting to discuss religious ideology...

with an adamant christian... needless to say, a second date didn't happen (thankfully)

[TrogL]

27. It got really, really smoky, then crazy then crazier

This is part of a much longer story that I've told before (probably in conflicting versions).

We had finally kicked the neighbours out so we could have some time alone and their fire alarm went off. I went over and they'd left a pot on the stove and it caught fire. I put out the fire, then called the fire department to see if I could borrow a fan to blow smoke out of the building. They came over for a look-see and totally disrupted the place.

Later I woke up screaming and complaining about the cat at the door. She doesn't have a cat.

Later on (I think it was within the same date) there was a huge crash of breaking glass above so we called the police and she got out pellet guns to repel invaders but the police knocked on our door instead of where the crash came from so we had to hide the guns under seat cushions.

[TrogL]

28. you mean like when the RCMP got involved?

His mother knew he was gay but I guess he'd never actually invited a gay *cough* friend over while she was there.

He's not from North American culture so things got really, really confused.

He invited me in to "see a movie", which I took as a *nudge, nudge, wink, wink, say no more* invitation. There really was a movie.

Then he told me to "get more comfortable" which I took as a *nudge, nudge, wink, wink, say no more* invitation to curl up in his lap and start running the bases - he thought I looked tense and uncomfortable.

In the middle of all this, his Rabid Religious Right mother bursts in and starts ranting and raving about God and the Devil and the Anti-Christ (probably meaning me) then she couldn't take it any longer and went roaring off in the car and the RCMP picked her up outside of town and she was acting crazy and... (Oh, just imagine the rest).

[TrogL]

29. ..or the time I ended up running down the apartment hallway naked...

...because the girl's girlfriend woke up too early and found us in bed and chased me out the door with the skinny end of a broom handle?

[TrogL]

30. Come to think of it

I've never had a sane first date. They've all been nightmares.

[Red State Rebel]

40. Remind me if we ever meet to politely decline.....

Nothing personal mind you....I'd just rather avoid a felony conviction......

[yvr girl]

31. My friend's story....

An acquaintance asked her to a banquet. She said yes. He told her that he was going to wear a brown suit, and that she should wear a pink dress (so they would match??.) I don't know why she didn't make up a death in the family, but she didn't.

On the actual date, he was really obnoxious, trying to be 'Joe cool.' My friend won an award. After they announced her name, he said Jane Smith (not her real name, natch), who is Jane Smith? 'Jane' just glared at him while she got up to accept her award. Really, you should endeavor to know your date's name.

Things went downhill from there. She got so fed up on the way home, that she just demanded that he STOP THE CAR. She got out, and hitchhiked home.

[baldguy]

34. Blind date. Friend neglected to tell me one thing,

She was a rabid vegetarian animal-lover. Did you know that when you order hasenpheffer, they bring you the entire rabbit carcass? I didn't.

[Skittles]

38. blind date with a lawyer

he takes me to a nice restaurant - and parks in the HANDICAPPED spot. When I questioned him he BRAGGED that a client of his had given him one of those cards so he could park there. He moved the car after I had a fit. Once inside the restaurant, he treated the waiter like shit. So I said WHY DO YOU KEEP PICKING ON THE WAITER and he said HE'S JUST A F***ING WAITER so I said AND YOU ARE JUST A F***ING ASSHOLE. I proceeded to storm out (after giving the waiter a big giant tip) and took a cab home.

[Red State Rebel]

39. I'll start with the one who fell off a cliff...

Met a guy while I was volunteering at a Red Cross truck during a flood nearby while I was in high school. We talked, talked on the phone and he asked me for a date. He decided we should go on a picnic at a place he knew about an hour away. When we got there, he told me about a cave at the top of this cliff across the large creek/small river and suggested we climb up to have a look. Sounded interesting to me, so why not.

We climbed up this cliff wall about 25 feet high - wasn't difficult and looked around the cave for a while, chatted, etc. When it was time to go back, he went first and as he turned and went to climb down, he stepped onto a ledge that promptly broke out from under him and he proceeded to fall the entire way down, then roll down the hill to the river at the bottom of the cliff. Meanwhile, I'm standing on the top of the cliff screaming like a fool. Somehow the fall didn't knock him out but his leg was injured. He was able to drag himself back up the hill to the bottom of the cliff while I Somehow I made it down and helped him back down the hill, across the river and to the car. At this time, I was 16 but didn't have a license yet. We stopped at a house near the entrance of the park and they gave us a wet wash cloth to put over the gash in his leg and he proceeded to drive us all the way back home.

He dropped me off then went home to get his parents to take him to a hospital where he had a ton of stitches to fix his leg.

We went out one or two more times after that, but it never went anywhere.....