Roses

[Nadienne]

And he, with a flourish - he was obviously very pleased with himself - brandished a fist full of flowers.

Nadienne's eyes narrowed momentarily. Her lips twisted into a cool sneer. He didn't see it. He was looking right at her, and yet he didn't see her. He continued to grin as Nadienne seethed.

Finally, after blank moments that neither noticed, she snatched the red roses away from him. The motion resembled the swat of a tiger. Startled, he hopped backwards, and the blood drained from his face as she spoke.

"Roses? From you? I thought you knew me. I thought you respected me. But you insult me with this!" She waggled the roses under his nose. He stepped backward again. His eyes were wide, terrified. She sighed, and continued in a gentler tone: "Generic women value roses. They've been conditioned to believe that roses, and other flowers, are something to desire. And men are happy to have it so easy. 'All you gotta do is buy her roses.' I thought you knew better. I hoped you knew better. I was wrong."

************************************************

What do y'all think about roses?

[ewagner]

1. Afraid to answer

quivering in the corner............:scared:

[Nadienne]

2. LOL

I'm not really that mean :)

[Nicholas D Wolfwood]

3. A beautiful flower

spurned by the ungrateful receiver.

And this is coming from a guy that regularly buys his woman flowers and other random gifts of appreciation.


No such gift should ever be spurned.

[SoCalDem]

4. Roses are unnecessary..

A well chosen, inexpensive, yet thoughtful trinket is more welcome than a $75 dollar bouquet bought in haste.

[Nicholas D Wolfwood]

9. This is true...

but if the purchase was made, and if it was unwarranted by circumstance (such as a fight or a big occasion), isn't it the thought that he cared that matters most? Maybe he doesn't have the time to go out for a thoughtful trinket, but only the truly ungrateful can rate roses as a bad random gift.

[Name removed]

13. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[SoCalDem]

14. The time that it took to find the right thing...... IS the gift

My husband is a "kamazazi" shopper..and I finally told him to just forget it.. If he cannot put some thought into what he thinks I might like, then I would rather not have anything..

I do not want a gift that was chosen by a random salesperson in a store..or by a phoned in order to a flower shop..

When I buy gifts for people, I make mental notes of things they have told me they liked or I watch what they buy for themselves.. I am observant, and I want my gift to them to be something they treasure, and think of me when they use it, wear it, look at it..

My husband (34 years) is NOT this kind of person, no matter how hard I tried to "train" him, so I just gave it up.. I just got tired of being disappointed, so I expect nothing (which I usually get), and I have made peace with it..

I did train my sons well, and their female friends have always thanked me for raising such a thoughtful guy..:)

[Nicholas D Wolfwood]

33. You missed the key words

If you're given a gift not for an apology or a big occasion, any kind of gift is positive and thoughtful, even if it's just "kamikazed". If someone buys you roses when it's not called for in any way, one should be grateful no matter what (unless the guy is stalking you).

[trof]

5. whew...I USED to like 'em.

Kinda funny story:
Miz t. is from Texas so I've always given her yellow roses for birthdays, anniversaries, etc. Plus, her middle name is Rose, so she really is my Yellow Rose of Texas.

A few years ago we discovered that, in the "language" of flowers, yellow roses mean infidelity.
Who knew?
I still send them to her anyway.

[Lavender Brown]

6. I thought yellow meant friendship!

[trof]

21. Decrease of love; Infidelity;

Rose, Yellow
Unfaithfulness. Decrease of love. Jealousy.
http://www.cybercom.net/~klb/flowqr.html

[BigMcLargehuge]

7. I like roses

I live giving them and I like receiving them. Is it cliche'd, sure is, but sometimes cliche's are good.

[ihaveaquestion]

11. Me, too, even if they are a bit cliche.

[TX-RAT]

8. 30 plus yrs experience here

Should have got her a diamond.

[catzies]

10. That was me, once.

And it explains why I'm still single to this day.

I detest cheap sentiment and cliche gestures.

Flashback to my 24th birthday:

"A pearl ring?!? It looks like a promise ring! We've been living together for two years, and I'm pregnant, and you want to go steady?!?!"
:(

[Caution]

12. i buy roses for my fiancee

whenever the opportunity presents itself (which is about once a month or so) because I want to let her know that I'm thinking of her. Anyone who has this kind of reaction to a simple gift doesnt deserve the thought that goes into it.

Frankly if someone did that to me i'd tell her to go fuck herself because she obviously wants to be the center of attention at all times and wants someone to buy her only the things that she deems valuable.

If she didnt like roses she should certainly show a little respect to the person who was simply saying "i was out today and I was thinking of you" or "I was out today and realized I was wrong and picked these up as a gesture of apology" or simply "I saw what I think are beautiful flowers and wanted to give you a thing of beauty".

She could do as my fiancee has done and said "While I appreciate the gesture, you get me roses all the time, how about next time something different, surprise me" so next time she got lilies. But she still gets roses when i see them because they make me think of her.

[Nadienne]

16. Personally, I have no objection to roses

or flowers or diamond rings or anything romantic.

But every time I have received roses - especially from men I've known for a long time, especially from men to whom I have said, "Roses don't mean anything to me. I would rather have a kiss, or a hug, or a smile... something more personal..." - I couldn't help but feel a little insulted. It's as though they though I was playing a game. "She says she doesn't want it; she must really, really want it."

[Caution]

20. Well i would rethink that one

Obviously it's dependent upon the person you are dating, but for me personally roses are often the only option when you are out grocery shopping or picking up a bottle of wine or on your way over to pick someone up. You can find roses. They'll have them at 7-11, at the counter of the liquor store, in the grocery store, heck they even have them at BJ's. I see them and I buy one or two or a dozen because here I was picking up a pack of gum or seomthing and I saw a rose and it made me think of her and I wanted her to know that even when doing something mundane...i'm thinking about her.

Sometimes though you are right, some jerk buys them because it's expected and because he hopes to get something in return.

[Nadienne]

22. You are probably a hopeless romantic,

with a lucky fiance.

My boyfriend buys me camping stuff when he's being romantic.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

15. If they don't smell like roses

I'm not wild about them. I'd rather have one single sweet-scented rose from my garden than dozens of the hot-house variety.

I love getting flowers; but I love them most when they cost nothing more than the time to pick them.

Dandelions are my favorite...

[Nadienne]

17. Dandelions are great

:)

[Imalittleteapot]

18. Cut roses die.

Give me something alive, if you must give flowers ------------ like an orchid.

I'm with you Nadienne.

[Nadienne]

19. Yeah, isn't it a little morbid

to give dead things as a symbol of a relationship?

:P

[Cats Against Frist]

23. Nice flower

but I reject outright attaching symbolism, sentimentality or emotion to material things. That goes for the Statue of Liberty, Dutch Apple Pop Tarts and John Edwards' pillowcase.

[Ramsey]

24. Roses are always appreciated

My husband buys me roses for my birthday and for Valentine's Day. It's become a little tradition. He's not a sexist pig and he knows that I am a raging feminist.

He likes to do it for me and I appreciate that he does. He knows I consider Valentine's Day to be a pointless Hallmark holiday, but he gets me the roses anyway. He gets a really nice bouquet from a florist friend. He gets me different colors each time. He takes the time to think about what color he's going to get this time and to pick them up before the occasion, believe me that's quite a feat for him.

I don't want flowers as an apology, in lieu of real personal reform. I don't want flowers ridden with guilt. But a nice gesture that builds a tradition in our marriage is perfectly lovely and appreciated.

So here's one nongeneric woman who will gladly accept her husband's thoughtful gesture of roses.

[AspenRose]

25. I like getting roses

One rose is fine though. It doesn't have to be a dozen.

I got "doghouse flowers" last week and DH bought a dozen. One rose would have been enough.

[DoveTurnedHawk]

26. Uhh...I Think That's Kinda Harsh

It's the thought behind the gesture that counts, no?

Unless you've explicitly told the guy that you don't want him to give you roses or flowers, I don't think that was called for.

DTH

[TrogL]

27. I don't want to talk about it

Probably should, but not here

[geniph]

28. I have about 30 rosebushes in my garden

I'm quite fond of them. I don't particularly like them as store-bought cut flowers; would rather have carnations. I like having a few of my own in the house during the blossoming season.

Plus some of my BDSM friends are happy to get the pruned canes in spring. They make nasty things out of them.

[SoCalDem]

29. I prefer gardenias to roses any day.. They smell so great..

Old fashioned roses used to smell wonderful.. My grandmother had a huge rose garden, and when the breeze kicked up, the scent would filll the house:)..

Modern roses hardly have any scent :(

I do like carnations too... and freesias :)

[jukes]

30. as tactful

as calling a woman "hon", "sugar" or some other meaningless drivel that suggests he can't remember her name. here in the south it seems to be "little lady", "shoog" or "girly-girl".

depersonalizing & dehumanizing.

i haven't sent/brought a woman flowers in years

[DoveTurnedHawk]

31. Are You KIDDING Me?

It's a nice gesture. Someone is going out of his or her way and spending money on something that the person believes is a nice thing to do and will elicit a positive reaction. That's all. And you call it depersonalizing and dehumanizing?

:crazy:

DTH

[PopSixSquish]

32. You Really Want to Get on My Good Side

buy me Tiger Lillies!!!!

[Kenneth ken]

34. have we met?

maybe it was your twin?

I did learn that lesson about twenty-five years ago. just one more twist in the vast unmappable maze that is the "way to a woman's heart"


edit: she was kind enough to explain the rationale behind her nonappreciation of roses, much the same as has been expressed in 18 & 19 above. So that was nice.

And I would ask a woman's opinion before doing that again; some women like them some don't.

[SarahB]

35. I think they're pretty.

The one thing I sort of "collect" is stuff with roses on them. I especially love pink ones. I don't know why, they're just aesthetically pleasing. I usually smell like them too. While I'd love roses themselves, I think some new knickknack with roses on them that I could keep and treasure is even better.

[No2W2004]

36. In my experience, the best gifts of all are....

Cooking a good meal to share.

Giving each other the attention you deserve while discussing things.

A nice hot bath & letting her soak while I do the dishes.

Falling asleep in each other's arms.

That's worth more than the biggest diamond, or the finest roses.

[yvr girl]

37. One woman's thoughts on flowers....

1. I don't like flowers for an apology. It's like a monument to an argument.

2. Tuesday flowers are the best - flowers for no particular reason.

3. Don't bring flowers to a first date (way to much pressure.) If you feel you must bring flower to a first date, don't bring roses, especially red ones.

4.Roses are nice, but don't exclude other flowers. Most women love tulips. I love a spring bouquet. I love exotic flowers.

5. If you are in the mood to give a pricier gift, opt for a cool vase with simple flowers. Vases are forever.

6. You'll get more mileage out of an extremely thoughtful gift than an expensive one. (Unless she's a gold digger, and you don't want one of those.)

[Kenneth ken]

38. and yet another twist

in the unmappable maze of the "way to a woman's heart"

"cool vase" ???? :wtf:

one woman's "cool vase" is another woman's "nasty chamber pot" I'm certain. :P