And now for your entertainment.

[Rainbowreflect]

One liner jokes sent to me by a friend.

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.

Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.

I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it. So I said
Implants?"
She hit me.

I don't do drugs. I get the same effect just standing up fast.

I live in my own little world. But it's OK. They know me here.

I got a sweater for Christmas. I really wanted a screamer or a moaner.

I don't approve of political jokes. I've seen too many of them get
elected.

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you
want
to annoy for the rest of your life.

Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise words: Don't
pick
that up, you don't know where it's been!"

A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but, a true friend
will
be sitting next to you
saying, "Damn...that was fun!"

I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting >
clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed
up in
the first place!

Wouldn't you know it? Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FAT
cells
live forever.

[Maestro]

1. LOL!