Mangle your favorite cliche - in 'Lawyer-speak'!

[kmla]

Something like this...

"It is the express opinion of this poster that concerning the events that have recently occurred may be expressed with an inevitable, 'Excrement occurs.' Now it would please all parties involved if the complainant would close that orifice into which pastry is ingested. And I express this with much force and feeling."

Translation -

"Shit happens! Shut your pie-hole!"

OK. Your turn.

:)

[aden_nak]

1. Name that phrase.

When the party of the first part is responsible for willful deception directed at or towards the party of the second part, the party of the first part is culpable. When the party of the first part is found responsible for repeated, willful deception directed at or towards the party of the second party, the party of the second part is no longer excused of liability.

Translation:

Fool me once, shame on. . . uh. . . shame on you? Uh-fool-muh-can't git fooled again!

[kmla]

2. Bwahahahahahaha!!!!

Good one!

:7

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

3. Comes now the petitioner requesting a motion to compel

the respondent to relinquish all right to use of oxygen, hydrants, nourishments so that they mey expire.


short version Drop dead

[jdonaldball]

4. "In the event of

a negotiated settlement or an award of money damages after trial, Party A (attorney for Party B) shall receive 40 percent of any such monetary settlement or award, plus reimbursement for all litigation costs."

This means: "God helps those who help themselves."

[Richardo]

5. "Be it here known that the party of the first part,

...upon complete and total compliance with the terms and conditions herein described, shall be consigned to the custody of Satan for a period not less than all of eternity.

Conversely, in the event that the party of the first part fails to comply to the terms and conditions herein described, the party of the first part shall nevertheless be consigned to the custody of Satan in the same manner and for the same term as described above."

(You're damned if you do, and you're damned if you don't.)

[baldguy]

6. To manipulate a single ornithoid

has the equivalent desirability as twofold avians located within a decorative shrubbery.

"A bird in the hand is worth two in a bush."

[Magrittes Pipe]

7. The party of the first part hereby requests that...

...the party of the second part, henceforth and with all deliberate speed, engage himself in conjugal relations.

-- what Cheney said to Leahy