Paragon
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Mon Jul-19-04 01:08 PM
Original message |
My Fundie Mom's Forwarded E-Mails, vol. VIII |
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THE LORD'S BASEBALL GAME
Freddy and the Lord stood by to observe a baseball game. The Lord's team was playing Satan's team.
The Lord's team was at bat, the score was tied zero to zero, and it was the bottom of the 9th inning with two outs. They continued to watch as a batter stepped up to the plate named 'Love.'
Love swung at the first pitch and hit a single, because "Love never fails." The next batter was named Faith, who also got a single because Faith works with Love. The next batter up was named Godly Wisdom. Satan wound up and threw the first pitch. Godly Wisdom looked it over and let it pass: Ball one. Three more pitches and Godly Wisdom walked because he never swings at what Satan throws. The bases were now loaded. The Lord then turned to Freddy and told him He was now going to bring in His starplayer. Up to the plate stepped Grace. Freddy said, "He sure doesn't look like much!"
Satan's whole team relaxed when they saw Grace. Thinking he had won the game, Satan wound up and fired his first pitch. To the shock of everyone, Grace hit the ball harder than anyone had ever seen! But Satan was not worried; his center fielder let very few get by. He went up for the ball, but it went right through his glove, hit him on the head and sent him crashing on the ground; the roaring crowds went wild as the ball continued over the fence . . . for a home run! The Lord's team wn!
The Lord then asked Freddy if he knew why Love, Faith and Godly Wisdom could get on base but couldn't win the game. Freddy answered that he didn't know why.
The Lord explained, "If your love, faith and wisdom had won the game, you would think you had done it by yourself. Love, Faith and Wisdom will get you on base but only My Grace can get you Home: 'For by Grace are you saved, it is a gift of God; not of works, lest any man should boast."
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toddzilla
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Mon Jul-19-04 01:10 PM
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1. i guess grace forgot about those latin american death squads? |
mrboba1
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Mon Jul-19-04 01:11 PM
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The Lord then asked Freddy if he knew why Love, Faith and Godly Wisdom could get on base but couldn't win the game. Freddy answered that he didn't know why.
Well, duh! Everyone knows you can't score from 2nd on a walk!!
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XNASA
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Mon Jul-19-04 01:16 PM
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3. The Cubs had Grace for years........ |
Paragon
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Mon Jul-19-04 01:17 PM
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Commie Pinko Dirtbag
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Mon Jul-19-04 01:21 PM
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5. Ahhh, God the good father... |
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...who always says to his children:
"You're good for nothing! If it SEEMS you did something good it wasn't YOU, it was ME, and don't you ever forget it, punk!"
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delete_bush
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Mon Jul-19-04 01:29 PM
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6. Most baseball fantasies |
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have the visiting team ahead by 3 runs going into the bottom of the ninth, so that it takes a grand slam to win the game.
Satan is smarter than this, he would not have said that he has the game won when the score is tied. If he gets the out he would not immediately win, it would go to extra innings.
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Rainbowreflect
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Mon Jul-19-04 01:30 PM
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7. My question, why was God's team still tied in the 9th? |
jmowreader
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Mon Jul-19-04 02:01 PM
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9. Because Satan hired Randy Johnson? |
frylock
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Mon Jul-19-04 01:34 PM
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8. satan has always had a problem with middle-relief.. |
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despite the game being tied, Satan should have brought in his closer, and worked him for a couple of innings.
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KamaAina
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Mon Jul-19-04 03:04 PM
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10. Well, clearly the "Lord's team" was the Angels... |
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let me guess, they were playing the Devil Rays?
:evilgrin:
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DU
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Fri Apr 19th 2024, 07:22 AM
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