Democratic Underground Latest Greatest Lobby Journals Search Options Help Login
Google

Neocon Riots Rock DC

Printer-friendly format Printer-friendly format
Printer-friendly format Email this thread to a friend
Printer-friendly format Bookmark this thread
This topic is archived.
Home » Discuss » The DU Lounge Donate to DU
 
HawkerHurricane Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-20-04 10:22 PM
Original message
Neocon Riots Rock DC
Edited on Wed Jul-21-04 07:05 AM by Skinner
Large areas of the nation's capital were in ruins as violent protests continued for the third day against a bill that would revive the military draft, but only for neoconservatives.

The bill, officially called the Bellicose Resources Deployment Act but informally known as the Roast Chickenhawk Initiative, would supplement the nation's dwindling supplies of mindless belligerence by drawing on inexhaustible deposits found in seething think tanks, frothing newspaper columns, fulminating talk-radio programs, frenzied Sunday morning television and publications owned by Australians. It would then be shipped to the Middle East, where it is urgently needed.

The bill, explicitly requiring people who have never been in combat to serve in the wars they start, would affect thousands of neoconservatives in Washington and New York. It was strongly opposed by the Bush Administration on the grounds that it would leave most of the Administration's upper-level positions vacant, including the presidency and vice-presidency, but it was left unattended on President Bush's desk and he inadvertently signed it after deciding it looked too long and too hard to read first.

As the riots surged through Washington, 1,427 rioters were arrested by District police, all of them from poorer neighborhoods in the city and backwoods areas of nearby states like Virginia, West Virginia and Maryland. The detained rioters said in their statements to the police that they had been recruited by roving committees of neoconservatives. They were promised up to $3 an hour for the rioting, to be paid out by Halliburton and other private contractors that have been awarded lucrative deals for providing mayhem logistics and infrastructure, with a secret Defense Department fund believed to be compensating the companies as much as $485 for each brick thrown and $17,000 for each Molotov cocktail. The neocons assured the hired rioters that they would be only too happy to join the rioting themselves, but they had "other priorities." Instead, they have volunteered to map rioting strategy and shout encouragement in the general direction of the rioters from their tables at their favorite expensive Washington-area restaurants, such as Forward Position in Chevy Chase, Foxhole in Bethesda and Sortie in Georgetown.

More...

Source: http://www.thenation.com/doc.mhtml?i=20040802&s=kenning

EDITED BY ADMIN TO ADD LINK
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
Redneck Socialist Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-20-04 10:27 PM
Response to Original message
1. Thank you!
That's the funniest shit I've read in a while. Keep up the good work.

:bounce: :toast: :yourock:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Spiffarino Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-20-04 10:30 PM
Response to Original message
2. Dead on.
Excellent satire. You earned a nomination.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
punpirate Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-20-04 10:40 PM
Response to Original message
3. Very clever, Hawker...
... but it needs a line about Condoleezza Rice stumbling through the wreckage, mumbling over and over, "We didn't knowwwwww...." and maybe that Paul Wolfowitz intends to attend, but he's still combing his hair.... :P
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
nini Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-20-04 10:42 PM
Response to Original message
4. hahahah
especially the flight suit part.. LOL this one's getting sent out..

:thumbsup:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
LWolf Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-21-04 10:50 AM
Response to Original message
5. Priceless.
Thanks for the morning grin.

:kick:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Demeter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-21-04 03:16 PM
Response to Original message
6. Now That's MY Definition Of RAPTURE! n/t
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
myrna minx Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-21-04 03:26 PM
Response to Original message
7. Hilarious.
Thanks for posting. :toast:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
DU AdBot (1000+ posts) Click to send private message to this author Click to view 
this author's profile Click to add 
this author to your buddy list Click to add 
this author to your Ignore list Tue Apr 23rd 2024, 02:18 AM
Response to Original message
Advertisements [?]
 Top

Home » Discuss » The DU Lounge Donate to DU

Powered by DCForum+ Version 1.1 Copyright 1997-2002 DCScripts.com
Software has been extensively modified by the DU administrators


Important Notices: By participating on this discussion board, visitors agree to abide by the rules outlined on our Rules page. Messages posted on the Democratic Underground Discussion Forums are the opinions of the individuals who post them, and do not necessarily represent the opinions of Democratic Underground, LLC.

Home  |  Discussion Forums  |  Journals |  Store  |  Donate

About DU  |  Contact Us  |  Privacy Policy

Got a message for Democratic Underground? Click here to send us a message.

© 2001 - 2011 Democratic Underground, LLC