I have another question I need to ask...

[battleknight24]

... I'm the guy who posted the thread last night about my friend who is having unprotected sex (and doesn't seem that worried about STDs or pregnancy...)

You guys have given me some good advice such as sitting down and talking with her, giving condoms, convincing her to take a blood test and get on the pill, etc.

The problem is... well, in case you guys missed one of my more infamous post, I'm a 22 year old virgin (well, a "technical" virgin if you get my drift...)

I know its going to be difficult for me to talk and difficult for her to listen when I don't fully know what I am talking about. I'm not talking about pregnancy, STDs, and protection... I know as much as anyone else... but I just feel like she might say something along the lines of:

"you don't know what its like to make love, to give yourself to someone you love, etc, etc"

How do I talk to her?

[Not Me]

1. Go to a Planned Parenthood center and talk with a counselor there

They will give you all you need to know and advice as to how to talk with her in a way that should not make her feel threatened.

Or, better yet, bring her with you.

I cannot say enough good things about this organization. And I am a gay guy.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

2. You are a human, impulse is impulse and has nothing to do

with making sure one protects themselves in those moments of impulse.

[fdr_hst_fan]

3. Tell her: "That's true, I haven't.

But I've also never thrown myself in front of a speeding truck; like unprotected sex, THAT'S not recommendable, either!"
And there's nothing wrong with being a 22-year-old virgin, TECHNICAL or otherwise! I was until I was 28!
Here's to your virginity!

:toast:

[Blue-Jay]

4. I know a lot about the space program,

but I'm not an astronaut.

I know good writing when I read it, but I'm not an author.

I know what can happen if you don't eat healthy, but I'm not a nutritionist.


/you dig?

You don't have to be Ron Jeremy to know which sex habits are unhealthy. Talk to her. If she doesn't want to listen to you because you're a virgin, maybe she'll screw you first and then talk.

[battleknight24]

5. (OPH) Yeah, I dig...

... and if we do screw, don't worry, I'll have my Jimmy Cap on...


Peace,

[Rowdyboy]

6. Ask her if a judge should be required to kill someone before

judging a murder case? How about rape? I mean, if you haven't done it, how do you know it's bad? <sarcasm>

You won't have any problem because you have much more common sense that she does (obviously). She really needs your friendship right now. Good luck to you.

[Marvelous_Smarty]

7. What I found amazing,

when I was hooking up with women through the internet was how not a single one of them (there were 16 of them in less than a year) insisted on condom use. I was me who made the choice, they would have been just fine to go without one. On a couple of occassions I did.

[Misunderestimator]

10. On a couple of occassions you did?

I assume you mean, did go without a condom. Why is that? It's not like you weren't subjecting yourself to the same diseases.

[Marvelous_Smarty]

14. I really don't know.

I guess being caught in the moment or whatever. Not very responsible, I'll tell you that.

[Blue-Jay]

12. Shenanigans!

feh.

[SarahB]

8. If you are close enough to someone to have sex with them....

you should be able to have a frank discussion about birth control. Love is rather mysterious and mystical and all that mushy stuff, but it has nothing to do with being practical and sensible about this stuff.

If you're too embarrassed to get birth control, you're too young to be having sex.

[truthspeaker]

15. Words of wisdom!

"If you're too embarrassed to get birth control, you're too young to be having sex."

Can't say that enough.

[jukes]

9. battleknight24

you mentioned in your previous post your discomfort @ attending a Planned Parenthood counseling session w/your friend. I can empathize w/that, but must point out that bravery *isn't* fearlessness, it's facing your fears to do what's right.

this *very* young woman is your friend, you have an obligation to help & support her, even to the point of confronting her on the obvious danger she's placing herself in. if you are too inexperienced, or o'wise incapable of formulating a convincing argument, you *must* steel yourself to overcome your discomfort & go w/her to a valid counseling service.

the alternative is to continue to allow her to endanger herself, and eventually observe the anguish when the inevitable happens.


from your posts, you're to sensitive and caring to allow this tragedy to continue. do what must be done.

STDs can be horribly disfiguring, painful; even life threatening. and i assure you, as an unwanted child, i suffered terribly @ the hands of my mother, and she was broken w/ remorse and died young from the trauma of her guilt.


ACT NOW!

[Misunderestimator]

11. jukes

I'm sorry about your experience with your mom. It's a hard road ahead of a kid that isn't wanted... I can relate. :hug:

[SarahB]

13. It's hard for me to understand some women.

My oldest wasn't planned and it wasn't the best of situations, but as soon as I found out I was pregnant, I quit smoking, ate totally healthy, read to her before she was even born, breastfed all the time, etc, etc, etc. The thing about being a mom to me is that I fell in love with her as soon as she was born (probably before). When you you truly love your children, even the sacrifices have meaning. I don't regret any of those I made for them and she (and all of them) have thrived. Every child deserves that and they shouldn't be blamed or hurt in any way for one second because of the choices their parents made.

[jukes]

16. Misunderestimator & SarahBelle

Tx for the props. i've mostly outgrown the resentment now, & have mostly forgiven her.

my mother's abuse was "sybil" level, & scarring, but, in her defense, she had many problems of her own.

some research has disclosed she was a magdelena; either a teen unwanted pregnancy (way before me) or her nubile beauty, caused her to be incarcerated in 1 of those horrid catholic homes for temptresses. she was physically abused, worked 16 hrs a day in the nun's laundry, & was perhaps raped by nuns/priests.

as she aged, her buxom figure became obese, & she jonesed on the '50s/'60s amphetamine/downer cycle & was a stone chem dependent.

strange that abused children often abuse their own progeny. i maintain some pride in 2 facts:

i never used corporal punishment or mental abuse on my son.

although i've lived a very violent life, i've *NEVER* been unjustly violent.


the cycle *CAN* be broken.

SB: you sound like a wonderful parent

Mis: so sorry for your pain, also. life is, indeed, a bitch.