Phew!!! Just had to explain to an attractive young exchange student

[Mara Steele]

from Taiwan that I was a lesbian, and exactly what that meant... Christ, talk about awkward. It might have been comical if I hadn't been under such duress! :P

But even across language and cultural barriers, I think she understood. She did seem a little taken aback initially, but thankfully still friendly after.

Now all there is to figure out is... Is she REALLY attracted to me like I think she is? It's almost hard to believe, but that feeling(delusion??) is pretty unmistakable.

(Or did I COMPLETELY scare away this pretty, young, Asian woman with my descriptions of being a gay and a "tomboy"? I hope not, because I would really enjoy just being her friend.)

I would NEVER make a move unless I was totally sure, but she is very open and doesn't seem to mind a lot of my gestures, which naturally tend to be somewhat physical and intimate. I mean -- I absolutely respect peoples' personal spaces, but I do touch sometimes to make a point, or to look at a piece of jewelry, if I feel they are comfortable with such a gesture.

We've got plans to go to a movie or something tomorrow, and she seemed like she wanted me to take her down to the ocean for a swim, too (though that was before the "big truth" came out.)

Well, I just wanted to write down the experience for the sake of my own calm... I'm still a little nervous about everything, it all happened so quickly! Don't have much invested in this, since I only just met her... but it's all a little new & exciting to me, + the cultural thing makes it more complicated, too.

Phew.... :D Thanks for listening, guys! :hi:

[aquart]

1. Courage.

And if you get your heart broken, it will only help to make you more sensitive to the travails of others.

See? It's all good. No guts, no glory. Forget about that once burned twice shy thing. Keep on trucking.

And never forget that women, being used to men, have developed amazing skills in turning away unwanted advances before they're ever made.

[Mara Steele]

2. Thank you, aquart!

Your advice does mean a lot, and I'll take it to heart. :pals:

[Taverner]

3. Mara, what IS a lesbian?

Someone told me it had something to do with toasters....

[Mara Steele]

4. HAHAHAHAH!!!

Quit making me laugh, you guys. I'm gonna get premature wrinkles or something! :P

[Moonbeam_Starlight]

9. Do you have the shoes?

Don't you have to all wear a special kind of shoes or something?

And do you know my cousin? She's a lesbian, too.

Karen? Name ring a bell?

[SarahB]

10. Birkenstocks?

:shrug:

[Mara Steele]

12. Funny...Ha!

I have some beat up old running shoes and a pair of hiking boots... I think that they're both accepted under the Lesbian Code of Behavior. :D

Can't say I remember your cousin... But there are so many names, you know... I remember faces better :evilgrin:

[jukes]

25. Doc Marten's

the official footwear of the counter culture. just don't switch to white laces, that's an emblem of racist skinheads, & w/your new 'do, it cd cause prob's!



:hi:

[Mara Steele]

32. Docs...

Don't care for them too much, I guess because everyone else has them and they ruined my arches when I was younger. I had a pair back in the 90's when I went to a lot of rock concerts, and they gave me serious foot problems...

I would like a pair of leather city boots with a zipper on the side and a little lift in the heel, though. I'm pretty short, so I'd enjoy some extra height so long as it's not from HIGH HEELS, yikes.. :P

[jukes]

35. not a Dom

apparently! (do L's do the bondage thing?)

[Mara Steele]

37. I'm sure some do...

Probably can find that in any group of people, though! :shrug:

Nope, ain't for me. I'm a sweet, old fashioned butch. :D

[jukes]

42. i never got it

either. story-telling is my only kink, o'wise i'm a meat/potatoes man.

still like parking, though, & it's been forever since i was 16!

[nini]

5. Did I miss LynneSin ask you if you were a lesbian?

:-)


good job girl... you're doing fine. At the very least it sounds like you'll have a good friend there.

[Mara Steele]

6. I hope so...

She is very quiet and the language barrier makes it a little difficult to ascertain the finer points of her feelings on matters...

But she is sweet, and a lot of fun to be around. I just know that in her culture that being gay is much more of a taboo subject than it is in the States, so I'm a little nervous about how that went over.

:hi: Actually, matcom asked me FOR LynneSin... I guess she just wasn't drunk enough to do it herself, lol... :D

[Rowdyboy]

7. Depending on her grasp of the English language, that could lead

to some hilarious misunderstandings. I shudder to think how I would pantomine that I was gay to a non-English speaking man. I'll bet I could get the message across though!

A moonlit beach sounds like an appropriate location at international communication....

[Mara Steele]

11. HAHAAHAHAH!!!

Yeah, you would have really laughed at my feeble attempts to explain myself...

"...Naw, I don't like to wear jewelry....I'm a tomboy...What is that??? Um, a girl who acts like a boy....No, I don't have a boyfriend... Oh, I don't really like boys LIKE THAT...NO, NO, I don't hate boys... I'm just not sexually attracted to them...I don't want to "go out" with them..."

I didn't even say "lesbian" because I figured if she didn't know what "psychology" meant it was possible she wouldn't know what being a "lesbian" meant... Or maybe I'm just chicken.... Yeah, that's it. :D

But she's smart and cute and liberal minded... in terms of, wishing the Taiwanese president would spend less on guns and more on feeding the poor. So we agree on the important stuff, anyway. :)

And that moonlit beach plan, now that sounds like a great idea, Rowdyboy! :evilgrin:

[arwalden]

46. I Could 'Pictionary' It. --- One Or Two Sketches Of Stickmen...

... and I'm sure I could make someone understand.

-- Allen

[Rowdyboy]

52. Yes, I imagine you could!

We're both pretty good at getting our "points" across, now aren't we :evilgrin:

[Mara Steele]

57. LOL!!

I'm sure you could, Allen! :D :pals:

[SarahB]

8. You're Lebanese?

Did you know Danny Thomas?

[jukes]

28. prol doesn't

but i think she has a thing for Marlo.

[AngryAmish]

13. According to Babelfish...

我是女同性恋者 is the simple Chinese translation for "I am a lesbian."

Print this out and BOOM you are done.

If this gets you in, give me your f'n toaster. Mine has poor temp control.

[Mara Steele]

14. Thanks, AngryAmish!

BTW, are you really Amish? :hi:

Thanks.

[AngryAmish]

15. No

However, there is a wrestler by the name of "Amish Roadkill" who I am a fan of. Joey Styles used to call him the Angry Amish Assassin. I shortened it for the nickname.

[Mara Steele]

16. OK, I get it

Thanks...

Wrestling, huh? Never could see the attraction, except the comical one, that is. :D

But I know there's a big following... so to each his own, I suppose!

Have a good one! I'm up too early today... :boring: :hi:

[ChavezSpeakstheTruth]

21. I didn't think the Amish were allowed to get angry

:shrug:

[AngryAmish]

23. Quiet, English.

[ChavezSpeakstheTruth]

33. Didn't mean to upset thee, sir.

[AngryAmish]

36. heh

[jukes]

49. oh, i think the amish can get pist

they just can't kick shit outa any1!

[zeemike]

17. She probably admires people in the preforming arts

Oh wait that is a Thespian

[Mara Steele]

18. Well, I'm one of those too...

Sort of... A thespian without a stage, anyway...

...Maybe you call that "a show-off"?? :shrug: :D

[zeemike]

20. Thespians don't need a stage

And Lesbians don't need a sage to tell them if she is interested.
You will find out when you make your move.

[ChavezSpeakstheTruth]

19. I can't advise about women - I got one to kiss me so I'm holding on

to her for dear life. I don't think I'll get another - you saw my comic book threads so you know what I'm talkin' 'bout!

:)

Good luck - my stepmother is taiwanese so the cultural thing is old hat to me - its actually quite a great twist on a relationship IMHO. Again, good luck!!!

:yourock:

[Mara Steele]

24. HAHAHA!!

Oh, shut the heck up, man... you know geeks ALWAYS get the best women. My big brother, a comic geek and art school grad like yourself, got married a couple years ago to a GORGEOUS woman, a hairstylist with tons of artistic talent.

My ONLY concern about my new friend's nationality is that I presume from what I've read that there are still a lot of taboos in her culture regarding gays, lesbians, and unconventional gender roles.

I don't know how she feels about these things, she just acted so innocent and unknowing when I explained myself, but part of me felt she was just playing a part, or else having trouble with my English.

So...I don't know! At least I have a little excitement in my life, huh?

:yourock:, too! :hi:

[ChavezSpeakstheTruth]

31. absolutely! It does sound deliciously exciting.

I do hope it works out. Besides - if the concept is taboo it might be exciting for her. Just sayin'!

Oh and you're right. I somehow convinced THE MOST BAUTIFUL AND TALENTED girl in the world that this foolish guy was a catch - she even calls me dreamy (who says that?). As an actress her art form and mine compliment rather than conflict if we were in the same field - its AWESOME!!!

Keep us posted! I love this stuff!

[Mara Steele]

38. "The taboo may make it exciting for her"

CSTT, I do like that idea very much!! Mmm hmm... :evilgrin:

Will keep y'all posted on the running queer soap-opera of my life...

After all, ya can't get this stuff on cable, folks! :D

[ChavezSpeakstheTruth]

40. Not so long as Michael Powel runs the FCC!

:)

[Mara Steele]

48. It's time for the FCC song!

(You've probably heard it already, though...)

http://homepage.mac.com/njenson/mp3/fcc.mp3

[ChavezSpeakstheTruth]

51. I hadn't - AWESOME!!!!

That is GENIUS!!!

"Fuck you and everything you do"

*wipes tear from eye*

[Mara Steele]

54. Wow, I thought everyone had heard that...

Awesome, glad you liked it!

You know, that's Eric Idle from Monty Python singing. :hi:

[ChavezSpeakstheTruth]

56. I could tell

love the man!

[WoodrowFan]

22. I'm sure I saw this in a movie!

two girls on a beach, one of them asian....(sorry, sad straight-guy fantasy)

Seriously, I hope you both have a nice time!

[Mara Steele]

29. That movie...

Hmm, does that come on late at night on PPV cable??
:shrug: LOL. Sounds like a good one.

Thanks... I'm sure we'll have fun, either innocently or sinfully, it's all in the hands of fate now, I guess....

We did REALLY hit it off, though! :shrug:

[jukes]

26. she sounds receptive

& you're def 1 seductive butch!

[Mara Steele]

30. Thanks!!

I do try my best, jukes! :evilgrin:

:pals:

[DS1]

27. Bathe her, and bring her to me

*hands on hips - waiting*

[Mara Steele]

34. Sorry, Dark Lord of DU...

Get your own woman... This one is mine!! (I hope) :D

[yellowcanine]

39. You slut. Can I watch?

.

[Mara Steele]

41. Nope...

Rent some porn, pal... :D

[yellowcanine]

43. Party pooper.

.

[Mara Steele]

44. I think you should go have a porn party

with your buddies, yellowcanine. :D

[bif]

45. A lesbian? Isn't that like an actor or something?

Oh wait, that's a thespian.

[Mara Steele]

47. Erggg...bad joke...

Already been made, too. :D

It's OK, bif, I forgive bad humor... I have a father, after all. :D

[andino]

50. I really don't have any lesbian jokes.

So just imagine that my post was funny...

:)

[Misunderestimator]

58. What did one lesbian say to the other?

Your face or mine? ba dumm bumm

[Misunderestimator]

59. What does a lesbian bring on her second date?

A U-haul.

Ok, I'm done. :)

[Mara Steele]

66. HAHAHAH!!

You got me again :D

[Mara Steele]

65. HAHAH!

Thanks Mis. Under E. :D

[Jack_Dawson]

53. Have you always known you were a lesbian?

[Mara Steele]

55. Nope...

Always had sort-of feelings in that direction, falling in love with best friends, and never much luck getting turned on w/guys.... But I was also chronically fatigued for much of my adolescence and early adulthood... And it takes a certain amount of energy to feel desire...

So, it wasn't until I was pretty much over the CFS that I realized I was gay, not bisexual, just totally and completely a dyke (and a pretty damn butch one at that.)

Kind of a heavy thing to have hit you head-on like that, but I guess that's what happens when you ignore something your whole life... :shrug:

[name not needed]

60. "never much luck getting turned on w/guys"

You obviously haven't met me. :evilgrin:

[Misunderestimator]

61. and if I had a buck for every guy who's said that...

DU would only need me as a donor.

[jukes]

62. i know, mis

what's up w/that? b/s male ego?


if only THEY'D meet the right guy...



:bounce:

[Misunderestimator]

63. Exactly!

[Mara Steele]

64. Well, this one's only fourteen years old...

What is really unbelievable is the ones who are thirty and forty and still say the same thing... :eyes:

[Misunderestimator]

67. Fourteen?!? Who? Unfortunately, I've found that a male who would EVER

say such a stupid thing will pretty much KEEP saying the same stupid thing over and over. A little like "How's the air up there" to a tall person. Lame.

[Mara Steele]

71. name not needed is fourteen years old.

And I asked the mods to delete his post, so hopefully he'll learn his lesson while young...

Good liberals need good manners, right?? :D

[name not needed]

70. The difference is, they actually believe their own bullshit.

I however, know that most of the time I am bullshitting someone. And I am actually 15, for another couple of months anyway.

[Misunderestimator]

72. Ah... so question answered...

and now you know how tired that MEME is. ;)

[name not needed]

75. What the hell is a "meme"?

I've been here almost 2 years and I still don't know!

[Misunderestimator]

77. Haha... There's a poll on that today, which is why I used it...

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x1434624

I think that's the first time I've used it actually... I hate the word.

:)

[jukes]

78. name

keep forgetting, 'cause USUALLY you post like an adult.


major faux pas, myman, but all will forgive, due to your tender years!

just remember, if you say that to a serious lesbian w/ a short fuze, she'll flatten you.




i've stepped on plenty of toes here, so don't get too fretted, 'k?


:pals:

[Nikia]

68. Be careful about cultural differences

I don't know a lot about Taiwanese culture but in some cultures friendships tend to be closer emotionally and physically than mainstream American culture. If she wants to hug you or hold your hand don't assume that she is a lesbian too and attracted to you. The signs of attraction to her might be signs of friendship. It doesn't mean that you might not get lucky, but make sure you are really on the same page before making a move.

[Misunderestimator]

69. I agree... be up front and honest... just come right out and

...say that you're attracted to her. (Of course it didn't work for me when I was 18 and said that to a professor of mine at college, but that's another story altogether.)

[Mara Steele]

74. HA HA!

Boy, you were an audacious gal!

A gal with gall, that is! :D

[Misunderestimator]

76. Always! Never get anywhere if you don't try.

And I have been on some fantastic adventures... ;)

[Mara Steele]

81. My problem: I don't want to taint the purity of friendship w/an attempted

sexual advance... That is where I've gone wrong before and always regretted
the innocent & simple friendship I missed out on.

So, I guess I don't have your gall, but hopefully my cautious charm and alligator slippers will win over Ms. Right eventually. :D

[Misunderestimator]

83. You have a point... however, in my experience....

and in that particular experience with the professor... having got it out in the open actually made the friendship better. If she's insulted by you simply being attracted to her and open to a relationship, then she might not be someone you want in your life as a friend. I've had plenty of men come on to me... and as long as they don't go past an innocent "I'm attracted to you..." I have no problem with a friendship.

[Mara Steele]

85. You're right...

My newfound queer carnality seems almost predatory in a way, and makes me a little nervous sometimes...

But you're right, everything really is innocent, as long as you don't cross certain personal boundaries...

Thanks! :)

[Mara Steele]

73. I couldn't agree more, Nikia

I am really one of the most polite people you'll meet and cautious to a fault.

I would be honored just to be her friend; she's an incredibly nice person who hasn't met many people here yet.

Thanks for your comments. :)

[jukes]

79. Nikia

a *very* valid point. i was major culture shocked @ 18 when i went to vietnam & saw lots of young men holding hands walking down the street. not gay, just a different approach to friendship.



Ms Steele is much to astute & worldly to make that error; also nice as...hmmm, does jukes know anything about nice?

oh, yeah, nice as a cat!

[Mara Steele]

80. That's really interesting, jukes!

I think I remember you mentioning this before...

It might even surprise me to see that, now.

Astute and worldly.... aw, shucks... y'know it's all an act. :D

Nice as a cat??

Now there's a compliment I can take to heart. :D

[Endangered Specie]

82. Just Great, now I got images of you and an asian girl stuck in my head...

Thanks!!!! ;) :P

[name not needed]

84. LOL!

:P

[Mara Steele]

86. Damn it, I bet you're really mad at me, bro!

Well, try not to hold the grudge too long...

it's not healthy. ;)

[Endangered Specie]

88. Im sure I'll be able to survive this traumatic episode of my life

;)

[Mara Steele]

91. ES, if you do have any lingering problems, just come see me in a few years

when I'm a practicing shrink.... :D :P

...I'll just beat the shit out of you, that should get any pleasurable images out of your
head....

j/k!! :D

[Endangered Specie]

92. Hmm, I might like that...

:evilgrin:

And the experience would probably be filed under pleasurable images, kinda defeating the purpose :P :)

[Mara Steele]

93. Oooh you're bad...

I'll have to think of some other kind of torture for you...maybe I'll consult our n'tl defense secretaries....

No, seriously man, I'm training in kickboxing. I really don't think you'd like it. :D

[Endangered Specie]

95. Now thats just unsportmanlike

;)

But I know some Repo friends who say that sorta stuff is actually fun too (ala Jack Ryan)

[Mara Steele]

97. Repo

If psych doesn't work out,

I'll do repo --

Thanks! :D

[geniph]

87. Did you get your toaster yet?

and do you have your copy of the Agenda? I'm still waiting for both of mine, dammit!

[Mara Steele]

89. Hi geniph

Yes on both counts. I must have registered before I was born, because they were here waiting for me after I "came out". :D

[Mara Steele]

90. Well, she's coming over in a few minutes...

And for my guest, I've just purchased an economy size box of black tea, a jar of honey, and a 6-pack of Foster's Lager (that's Australian for beer, BTW :D)...

I'm thinking that I am surely certain to charm the socks off her feet w/that assortment of delights... whether merely platonically or otherwise, remains to be seen...

:D

[Misunderestimator]

94. I'd be going for more than the socks...

:evilgrin:

[Mara Steele]

96. Well, we watched the first "Lethal Weapon"...

and talked about the different attitudes in Taiwan and America towards gay people.

I am still pretty baffled. It sucks to have the soul of a guy.... At least when you're a girl you're the "chooser".... As a gay girl/guy it seems one must wait to be chosen...

Oh well.. I told her I liked her hair a couple times.

So be proud of me. I was audacious in my own little way... :P :D

[jukes]

98. good luck, mara steele

whichever way it flops!



:hug:

[Mara Steele]

99. Thanks, jukes

I feel silly for spilling my guts in the Lounge, but there's something in the Foster's Lager that makes it hard to resist...:D