Where shall I establish my Evil Bond Villain Secret Base?

[Screaming Lord Byron]

Need some help here, DUers.

I was considering the West Edmonton Mall.

Plenty of space for the Giant Octopus


and my Mutant Henchmen



Well laid-out spacious torture areas



And of course, a dock for my Evil Submarines


However, there's no underground monorail.
Any suggestions for alternate locales?

[terrya]

1. I'd suggest Crawford, Tx, but there's an evil base of operations there now

[Screaming Lord Byron]

3. Yeah. Golden Rule of Bad Guy Networking.

Never shit in another guy's shithole.

[sus]

2. good work.

do you *really need* an underground monorail though?

[Screaming Lord Byron]

4. Look. I don't ask for much. I'm a modest man.

But, don't I deserve an underground monorail. Hmm? Please.

[sus]

8. oh no??

well what about the time you just HAD TO HAVE sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads?

[Screaming Lord Byron]

10. How would I look at the next Vicious Bad Guy AGM if I didn't?

I'd be humiliated in front of my Evil Peers.

[sus]

15. Vanity, thy name is Screaming Lord Byron

sigh..

[Screaming Lord Byron]

18. Damn Right! Now go get me my 47 identical brown Nehru suits.

They've been at the dry-cleaners for a week, dammit!

[GOPisEvil]

20. Have you got a menacing scar on your face?

You can't be an evil overlord if you don't have a menacing facial scar.

[Screaming Lord Byron]

23. No, but if this damn fluffy white cat gets any closer.....

[GOPisEvil]

27. You could always ride about in a motorized wheel chair...

[Screaming Lord Byron]

28. Cool. Wanna see that Ultra-modern Super-Computer I just got?

Bitchin'!

[GOPisEvil]

29. Nice!

Where's the loudspeaker for all those important announcements your minions will need to hear?

[Screaming Lord Byron]

30. Somewhere up here on the Viewing Platform I had built

so I could observe construction on the Giant Evil Rockets.

[GOPisEvil]

33. Excellent!

You need more clocks though. Set to all the world's time zones. You'd hate to announce the destruction of China only find out they're all asleep.

[Screaming Lord Byron]

34. Good Point. What do you make of the Action Room?

[GOPisEvil]

35. Very impressive!

Good looking persons of hench you have there.

[GOPisEvil]

5. I suggest purchasing a used missile silo.

1. Hardened against attack.
2. Non-descript from the air.
3. Already wired for cool electronics and secure communications.
4. Lots of land for building housing for your evil minions.

[terrya]

6. That's a pretty cool idea!

Great idea! :-)

[Screaming Lord Byron]

7. Yeah, and they're usually in the middle of nowhere.

I'll check it out. Cheers.

[Screaming Lord Byron]

9. Here's the guys working on our last base.

Which, thanks very much Derek Flint, imploded in a manner the insurance wouldn't cover. Curses!

[terrya]

12. Damn Flint and those ZOWIE bastards! Sorry they ruined it, SLB.

[Screaming Lord Byron]

14. I'll get them next time.

I have a cabal of women agents ready to take over the world. Sexy-like.

[terrya]

24. And they're using hair dryers to brainwash women around the world, right?

That would be the way to do it, I imagine.

[Screaming Lord Byron]

25. It was that or the killer bacillus that destroys all crops and livestock

while rendering all men over 5' 4 impotent.

[tigereye]

38. can I be one of your minions please

I think I would be a good minion. And I know tai-chi. I could be a new -agey feminist- type minion. Or is that an oxymoron?

I promise to listen well. And wear one of those catstuits. I always wanted to wear one of those. ;)

BTW how big is your underground mall lair. That one posted above was pretty big. Good grief.

good luck in your plan for hegemony. I love that word.

[Screaming Lord Byron]

41. What do you reckon for the catsuit. Black, Gold Lame or Silver?

It's an important detail. I have to have stylish minions.

[tigereye]

45. have to be black

and I have boots to match! I'm more a leather than a lame'.

or MAYBE silver lame. I'm not really the gold lame type. Not sure I'm the lame' type period, but in the interest of properly stocking your lair with stylish minions, that is, I might relent.

[Screaming Lord Byron]

46. That's OK. We can stock the lair on an Avengers tip.

I think I have my bowler hat and killer umbrella around here somewhere.

[tigereye]

49. yeah she always looked really good!

something to aspire to.

Mondo megalo - mania... The Hegemoniacs. New band names for your favorite world domineer! :)

[Screaming Lord Byron]

51. How 'bout Global Domination Sound System?

[tigereye]

52. global overseer

probably been done

ubermeister... sounds too b and d like

Planetary Villain Inc. why limit yourself to just one planet?

hmmm. What world changes would you make? Have you considered that as part of your master plan, oh evil one. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.

I have a Black Adder question for you. Ok if I pm you?

[Screaming Lord Byron]

54. Of course.

I'd want to have a band called The Dominators, but I might only get a certain crowd, eh?

[tigereye]

60. well you're the one who wants to dominate

THE WORLD! That's a pretty grand scale there.

[baldguy]

11. well, theres this:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=1423722



And you can browse here:
http://www.villainsupply.com/index1.html

[Screaming Lord Byron]

13. How did I miss that. Very, very interesting.

Rubs hands together with evil glee.

[Village Idiot]

17. Might as well keep it Canadian

and recycle! Re-use this:

The Diefenbunker

[Screaming Lord Byron]

21. Already am. I believe you're referring to the Byronbunker.

Check out my state-of-the-art control facilities.

[tigereye]

40. snort

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

19. Damn, beat me to it!

The utter humiliation you made me suffer means you are my SWORN ENEMY now!

Hmmm... "baldguy"... wouldn't your initials be LL perchance?

[baldguy]

31. MWA-HA-Ha-ha!

There's more too:

The Top 100 Things I'd Do If I Ever Became An Evil Overlord

1. My Legions of Terror will have helmets with clear plexiglass visors, not face-concealing ones.

2. My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.

3. My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be killed, not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon.

4. Shooting is *not* too good for my enemies.

5. The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness.

more:
http://www.eviloverlord.com/lists/overlord.html

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

16. Go to this place for all your needs:

http://www.villainsupply.com

[jpgray]

22. Free tip--no female henchmen

And send your goons to remedial marksman school immediately.

[Screaming Lord Byron]

26. OK, gotta go under the knife again. So long as I don't look like Kojak

this time around.

[Ready4Change]

32. Hve you considered locating in Washington DC?

Reflecting pools could be good for your octopus (rather than the dank, dark places most evil super villians put them into.) Plenty of henchmen already in place, convenient river access, and it already has a well known reputation for decision making that many US citezens find tortuous.

However, you might have to evict the current evil in residence.

[ChavezSpeakstheTruth]

36. This seems more classically apropriate

http://www.darkpassage.com/hopscotch/dioramas/teeth/article.htm
An old abandoned mental institution complete with:
Creepy cells:
Plenty of tunnels:
Vats of cryogenic chemicals:
Targets for practicing killing:

it even has a logo for you to use:

[Screaming Lord Byron]

37. That is a deeply cool logo.

[ChavezSpeakstheTruth]

44. I know - I want to make it into a t-shirt

Fitting for a cryogenic company no?

Eery

[Fenris]

39. A Scottish Bond-style villain?

Your name isn't Magnus Armstrong is it?



:D

[Screaming Lord Byron]

42. No. Nor is it Magnus Twatt.

Hero of the Hudson Bay Company in 1801 (yes, there really was a Magnus Twatt)

[Fenris]

53. Aye.

But what of Angus Cuntt?

[Screaming Lord Byron]

55. That guy was such a pu......

No, I can't do it. I can't, I tell ya!

[Fenris]

56. Let it be known that Byron the supervillain won't work blue for a laugh.

He goes close though.

[XNASA]

43. Abandonned 'Dixie Square Mall', 20 miles south of downtown Chicago.

The mall scene in the Blues Brothers Movie was shot there. It's been empty for 25 years.

Centrally located, yet unassuming.

It's perfect.

[Screaming Lord Byron]

47. Wooah! Abandoned Malls.

They're like the creepy-old-house-where-the-crazy-old-lady-with-the-cats-suffocated-her-family-thirty-years-back of the 21st century. Kewl.

[baldguy]

48. Unused psych hospitals are cool too

This one's in Buffalo:

[Screaming Lord Byron]

50. Oh yeah. You can just see the towers collapsing backwards

to reveal the missile launchers.

[Magrittes Pipe]

57. Uranus.

[Fenris]

58. Impossible! It's full of gas!

Well it is. It's a gas giant.

[Magrittes Pipe]

59. Someday, Fenris, man will find himself in Uranus.

[Fenris]

61. And that man's name is Rick Santorum.

[Magrittes Pipe]

62. * just announced his plans to send a team of astronauts...

...to explore Uranus.

I just wonder how they're gonna get past the smell of methane. :puke:

[Screaming Lord Byron]

63. What, like in Fantastic Voyage?

[Magrittes Pipe]

64. Yeah...

...Coolio's gonna do Fenris.


On edit: slide, slide, slippity-slide.

[Fenris]

65. When you're livin' in the city...

It's do or die.

[dolo amber]

66. If Santorum is going to Uranus

he's gonna have to get past me first! :grr:

I mean...ummmm....yeah. :think:


:D

[Magrittes Pipe]

67. Huh huh.

You said "Uranus."

[Fenris]

68. You are bad!

I like that. ;)

[GOPisEvil]

69. Dude!!! You need THIS!!!

http://www.yachtworld.com/core/listing/pl_boat_detail.jsp?&units=Feet&checked_boats=1169128&slim=broker&&hosturl=berkeley&&ywo=berkeley&