I'm a corporate shill dream analyst - let me analyze your dreams

[Merrick]

Hello, my name is Dr. Shill - executive board licensed psychiatrist specializing in dream analysis. Submit your dreams for analysis here. Some of my previous work can be viewed in the column I update periodically: http://www.newsmutiny.com/drshill.htm (and don't worry - that white stuff isnt your computer, its actually on my face... goes with the territory).

[everythingsxen]

1. Doctor Doctor!!

Last night I dreamed I was a tee-pee and the night before I dreamed I was a wig-wam. What does it mean???

:evilgrin:

[Taylor Mason Powell]

3. I know! I know!!

But I'll let the good doctor answer. It's his thread.

[Merrick]

5. Dear everythingsxen

Your dream reveals a subconscious affinity for Native American culture. To best nurture these percolating yearnings, I'd recommend you purchase a crate of Jim Beam whiskey, which happens to be the finest, smoothest brand of fire water available on the market today.

Yours,
Dr. Shill

[AlienGirl]

9. Hah!

Better than that other dream you had...you know the one I mean...it took place in a car...

Tucker

[regnaD kciN]

10. Since Merrick didn't see fit to give a concise answer...

...I'll do so: you're two tents.

[Taylor Mason Powell]

2. Ha!!

Good stuff!

[ZenLefty]

4. Okay.

I had this dream about seven months ago now, and posted it in the Lounge because it creeped me out so much I just wanted to get it out of my system. I'll repost it down here verbatim:

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I had the CREEPIEST dream the other night

This has got to be the creepiest nightmare I have ever had. I'm considering it for a short story. I've never written horror before, but I think this is pretty creepy horror material if I've ever seen it before.



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In the dream, I'm in a shopping mall, and I'm watching this girl talking on her cellphone. She's young and attractive, smartly dressed. Listening to the conversation, it's clear that she's breaking up with a quarrelsome boyfriend. I get the impression that he's a real jerk. When she hangs up, she looks quite liberated, and seems happy about it. She leaves the mall and prances out to her car, a silver convertible of some sort. She puts her hair up and the convertible cover down, and starts driving on a road that leads into some beautiful forested mountains.

It is autumn, and the trees in the mountains are vibrant in color. Amber and gold, a little green here and there, brilliant oranges and reds throughout. As my eyes get closer to the trees, I notice that some patches of red leaves seem different than the others. Deeper in hue. Glistening.

They're not leaves. They are odd looking clumps of blood, hanging there in the branches. They look like spiderwebs would look if the strands were wet with blood, and a globule of it was clumped in the middle. They look alien, and frightening. From above, it can be seen that these globules are clustered together in large patches in a couple of places in the forest.

And the road the young girl is driving on goes right through the middle of it all.

Next thing I know, in this dream, it's like watching one of those little .mpg movies that a digital camera can make. It looks like a red filter was used to make the movie, but I know that it is the sunlight casting its way through the clumps of blood above. I see the girl from behind, she's completely naked, and it's very clear she's been badly assaulted. There are cuts and welts all over her body. She staggers down along the side of a road to a ditch, where she falls flat on her face, and does not get up.

And next, I'm in a police office where detectives are watching this small movie on a computer screen. The digital camera in question is wired up to the computer, and it's covered in blood. There are odd, tentacle-like marks all over it, making a pattern in the dried blood that reminds me of intestines. There is also a manila folder of pictures developed from the camera. I never see them but I somehow know that they are blurry pics of the girl as she was assaulted. And I somehow know they never show the attacker, only the girl's terrified face. The police are talking about the girl's boyfriend, as he has a history of assault. One of them remarks that there are no prints on the camera, and it looks like he pressed the camera's button with his tongue. I somehow know that it was no human tongue that pressed that button, more like a creature with tongues for fingers or something.

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That's about where the dream ended. Believe me, it's a lot creepier having dreamed it than reading about it. When I woke up from that one, I could not go back to sleep (and I've got a pretty strong stomach for nightmares). For some reason, it still creeps me out at night, even though some time has passed. It's almost like this dream connected with some kind of 'fear register' in me. The kind of thing that might only be frightening to me personally, but not necessarily anyone else. That's actually why I'm thinking of making it into a short story, some kind of Cthulhu-ish prose or what not, that might serve to take the fearful edge off of it for me.

If you've read this far, let me know what you think of it. As for me, I think I'll take a little nap. *yawn*

[Merrick]

6. hmmm...

One of the fundamental beliefs within the field of dream analysis is that everybody you encounter within your dream is an extension of yourself - so that different emotional states, hope, fears etc. are imposed on and embodied by these "external characters" for your objective ego mind to assess. In light of this, I'd conjecture that you're harboring some deep seeded misogynistic attitudes beneath the surface of your conscious mind and that you should tune into the Rush Limbaugh radio show on a daily basis to gratify these impulses. Also, if your insomnia persists, I'd recommend getting yourself some Xanax or Valium (Pfizer brand - none of that generic shit).

Yours,
Dr. Shill

[rbnyc]

7. I had a dream last night....

...that I had to clean and change a baby over and over and over again with no end in sight.

:)

[Merrick]

8. Dear rbnyc,

I have two different interpretations of your dream. Which one is more accurate depends on certain details of the dream which hopefully you know - therefore enabling you to determine the more valid response.

Possibility #1: Such dreams of feeling "stuck" are quite common and are reverberations of an internal plea to break out of the trappings of your tedious, hum-drum life with a rollicking, heart-pounding off road adventure in a brand new Land Rover.

Possibility #2: If the mess the baby made was a #2 and contained nuts, this is likely an indication that you're subconsciously craving a Snickers bar and should go purchase one immediately.

yours,
Dr. Shill

[Merrick]

11. The doctor is in

for one more day