A Celebration of Father Ted.

[Screaming Lord Byron]

Some quotes from a work of genius.

Nun: Father Clippit says a good long mass. Four hours he does. Since his stroke.

Dougal: I'm no good at judging the size of crowds Ted, but I'd say there's about seventeen million of them out there.

Dougal: It's like a great big tide of jam. But jam made out of... old women.

Mrs Doyle: Are you looking forward to your lunch tomorrow, Father?
Ted: Hmmm? I suppose so.
Mrs Doyle: You do like pheasant, don't you Father?
Ted: Pheasant? I love pheasant.
Mrs Doyle: Well there's a little clue. The thing you'll be eating likes pheasant as well.

Dougal: God, I've heard about those cults Ted. People dressing up in black and saying Our Lord's going to come back and save us all.
Ted: No, Dougal, that's us. That's Catholicism.
Dougal: Oh right.

Ted: Sheep, like all wool-bearing animals, instinctively travel north, where it's colder, and they won't be so stuffy.

Dougal: Can I stay up tonight to watch the scary film?
Ted: Ah, no no no. The last time you stayed up to watch a scary film you ended up having to sleep in my bed. I wouldn't mind, but it wasn't even a scary film.
Dougal: Come on, Ted. A Volkswagen with a mind of its own. If that isn't scary, I don't know what is.

Ted: I'm not a fascist. I'm a priest. Fascists dress up in black and tell people what to do. Whereas priests...

Polly Clarke: My husband. Now there was a man who really was afraid of Virginia Woolf.
Ted: Why? Was she... following him or something?

Mrs Doyle: Won't you have some cake, Father? It's got cocaine in it. Oh no, hang on, it's not cocaine, is it. What do I mean now? - the little things... Raisins!

Ted: The holy stone... It must be even holier than we thought. Perhaps it's something to do with that fellow who came over from England last year. He touched it - and he grew a beard!
Dougal: Wow. Weird. That'd be nearly enough to upgrade it to a Class 1.
Ted: Ooh, Class 1'd be very rare. That'd be bringing people back to life... time travel... cloning dinosaurs... Very rare.

I love Father Ted.

[BigMcLargehuge]

1. ROFLOL...

Love that show :)

[NanBo]

2. Father Jack

DRINK! DRINK! :)

[BigMcLargehuge]

3. FECK! DRINK! GIRLS! FECK!

LOL

[Screaming Lord Byron]

4. A couple more.

Ted: Now concentrate this time, Dougal. These (pointing to plastic cows on table) are very small; those (pointing out of the window) are far away...

DOUGAL- Ahh, lets see,
I'll have the Hindu Curry, Steak and Chips, and a glass of Coke thanks.
POLICEMAN- Do you know where you are? Your in a police station.
DOUGAL- Oh right. Well, in that case, I'll just have the Satay Chicken.

Ted: Maybe he's agoraphobic.
Dougal: Jack? Scared of fighting? I don't think so, Ted!

[sybylla]

5. Thanks for adding a bit of cheer to my day.

It's been a while since Father Ted has been on BBCA and I miss it dreadfully.

You posted my favorite Father Ted line I'm not a fascist. I'm a priest. Fascists dress up in black and tell people what to do. Whereas priests...

A toast to the Brits :toast: No one can do comedy like they can.

[GCP]

6. I loved the one where it was a take-off of "Speed"

with the milk float not being able to go slower than about 5 miles an hour. Ted has some priests over to brain-storm and they come up with the idea of a mobile altar to say mass for Dougal while he's in the milk float - I laughed unitl there were tears streaming down my face, OMG.

It's a pity the guy who played Ted is dead, he was fantastic.

Two other faves - Kicking Bishop Brennan up the Arse
and the Eurovision Song Contest - "My Little Horse"

Priceless.

[Bridget Burke]

7. There are rumors of an American version of Father Ted.

Starring Steve Martin.

Let us hope it never actually comes to be.

[GCP]

8. UGH, NO

We all saw what they did to "Coupling", they'd ruin "Father Ted" because it has such a light touch and American writers can't seem to handle it.

[mulsh]

9. brilliant show

makes me proud to Irish. even prowder I don't live on craggy island.
guy who plays father dougal is a pretty good stand up comic.

[ChickMagic]

11. Dougal

I just saw his stand up act on Comedy Central last weekend. What a hoot! I love that guy! He talked about how women can avoid sex by claiming a headache, they're tired or they need to put little things in little boxes. He says, "I promise - I can put little things in little boxes too!" Hysterical.

[CaptainClark23]

10. NUNS! NUNS! REVERSE, REVERSE!!

[Donkeyboy75]

12. Mrs. Doyle: What do you say to a cup?

Father Jack: Feck off, cup!

[realisticphish]

13. Ted to Dougal:

how did you become a priest? was it collect ten crisp packets and become a priest?


I LOVE MY BRICK!

:hippie: The Incorrigible Democrat