I have just GOT to rant

[GirlinContempt]

When I went to Montreal, for some unknown reason, my family decided to take all the stuff I'd left behind, and put it in the basement. Why it couldn't sit here for 2-4 months, I don't know. Whatever. Since I've been back, I've been living in the laundry room, as my uncle was sleeping in my bed while he visited. (Not a good reason to dispose of my stuff, however, as he wasn't LIVING here, and all he used was the bed and half the closet).
So, I'm back in my apartment, and I decide to go down and get my stuff and start putting my apartment back in order.
First off, I'm really angry, because a lot of my stuff was taken and shoved into a big box, with not thought for the fact that it's fragile, etc. So I have some broken picture frames, candle holders, glasses, etc.
Then, I notice, in a pile on the floor, my computer parts. Thats right. In a pile, on the floor, collecting dust, being crawled all over by basement bugs. I'm going to have to go through and test everything, see what I can salvage.
But thats not the worst of it. I mean, at that point, I was pretty annoyed. But it doesn't even compare to what came next.
I started looking for my computers. I had three on the go for different people, in various states of build. One was my own, an old and irreplaceable system, and a beauty. I can't find them. I'm confused. I look everywhere. Still nothing. So I call my Mum and ask her, she has no idea. Puts me on with my Dad. He says to me "I threw them out."
HE THREW THEM OUT.
I said "WHAT?!", he started saying something about "I can't have..." and I said "Kay, bye" and hung up. I was too upset to even think about talking to him about it. I would have just ended up screaming incoherently.
I calmed myself down. Then I thought about the combined value of the computers that WERE NOT MINE, and what I now owe people. I freaked out again. After another calming, I call my Mum.
What is her reaction? "Well, you should have said something."
Pardon? Excuse me? I should have told my family "Please don't throw out my own personal belongings without consulting me first."?! I'm sorry, it just never occurred to me that I would HAVE to say that to my family. Kinda like I assume when I'm out with my friends, if I leave my purse on the table, they aren't going to snatch my wallet out of it. I don't feel like I need to say, "Excuse me friends, please don't steal my wallet while I'm in the bathroom".
Fuck.
Anyway, she kept saying "He didn't know what it was"
Great. If I don't know what something is, and it doesn't belong to me, I don't touch it. I leave it alone.
So, now I'm an additional $800-$900 in the hole. And it would be fantastic if I could hold him responsible for those costs. Because it's his fault. However, I highly doubt that he will see it that way.
What makes this even harder for me to understand, is that I talked to them almost EVERY day that I was away. In fact, I talked to him the DAY he was cleaning up the basement. He was in the middle of it when I called. He could have said "Hey, do you need this stuff?". But he didn't say a word.
This is possibly the angriest I have ever been at them. Him.
I just can't understand how it ever seemed OK to do that. It's common sense. Not yours, no touch.
Argh. Theres nothing left to say.
Help. I'm freaking.

[swag]

1. I am very sorry - that is beyond sucky.

[GirlinContempt]

2. Thanks

[realisticphish]

3. just breathe a deep breathe

and move them down a notch on the nursing home quality list :evilgrin:


:hippie: The Incorrigible Democrat

[GirlinContempt]

6. *laugh*

Cute
Made me smile ;)

[flordehinojos]

4. I don't know if this would help...

I've a son who likes to leave stuff of his here (he moved out about five years ago) and uses what used to be his room (which i've now converted into some sort of half florida room) as one of those "u-store it" places.

I've often asked him to at least leave things in some sort of neat orderly arrangement--he often just throws everything anywhere in the room, says he has to run out and that he'll be back to fix it and as the weeks go by and things are still where he initially left them, i put them in the order (or in the space) that is most convenient for me.

He has somehow in the process learned to let me know what specifically he may not want me to touch, move to a different place, or put out in the shed. He has also learned to find a neat corner for those things...and I've learned to understand that coming home and storing things here is a way in which we still remain connected.

Maybe if you could explain to your dad and your mom that you trusted that connection between the three of you to take care of the things you had left with them, they could see some way of helping you with the $800 or $900 that have you in the hole.

My son and I have learned not to assume a lot. We have learned to talk about what we expect and also about what might be disappointing. I don't know if this might help you but this is how he and i have worked it out. Take care.
:loveya:

[GirlinContempt]

7. Yeah........

I hear what you're saying, totally, and it sounds like a good idea,it's just, I only left for a couple of months, and they KNEW that. they KNEW I'd be back. And my stuff wasn't messy or in the way at all. Thats the big problem

[dorktv]

5. Write down everything you feel, put it in a logical order

then sit both of them down, ask them to let you explain how you feel and then tell them your ideas for a solution before letting them talk.

[GirlinContempt]

8. If my

parent's wern't such huge alcoholics, that might work.
I'm going to try, I just don't have much faith, based on how things have gone in the past.

[Bat Boy]

9. Yeesh!

And I thought it sucked when my dad pitched my bong...

That's seriously fucked up.