Joke (Religious)

[johnnie]

So, Jesus is hanging on the cross and he looks out and sees Peter way out in the crowd. "Peter" Jesus yells, "Come here, there is something I have to tell you". Peter starts running through the crowd and a soldier pulls his sword and whack! He cuts of one of Peter's legs. Peter hits the ground, with blood pouring out of his stump Peter looks up. "Peter...Please, I need to tell you something" yells Jesus.
Peter gets up and starts hopping on one leg toward the cross and yet another soldier pulls his sword and whack!! ...cuts off one of Peter's arms. Peter is now bleeding from a stump of a leg and blood is pouring out of his shoulder. Once again Jesus looks toward Peter and says "Peter, there is something I need to tell you. Please come to me".
Peter hops his way toward the cross and gets to the bottom of the cross as another soldier pulls his sword and slices off Peter's other leg. Peter hits the dirt and with blood shooting from his shoulder and waist he grabs a hold of the cross and starts his one armed climb to answer Jesus' call.
"Peter", Jesus says as he looks down at his bleeding follower as he climbs the cross, "I need to tell you this, please come to me". Peter makes his way to the top of the cross and gasps a troubled "Yes Lord, what is it that you need to say to me?"
Jesus looks up and says.......... "Look, I can see your house from here".

[kixot]

1. damn

That made me smile. Totally had Monty Python music going in my head for that.

[demodewd]

2. kick

That's definitely worth a kick. :kick: