Return of the GROTTO!

[short bus president]

Sorry folks, been a bit preoccupied these past few nights. Still rather much preoccupied, so probably not the best host I've ever been.

Nevertheless, come on in - the water's fine. Snap twice for a server, and stick around awhile. Talk amongst yourselves. Get cozy. Get wasted. And try yer damnedest to get laid.

For Tuesday night, cover waived for everyone in anticipation of hump day.

[XanaDUer]

1. Glad you're back!

Let's put on some bathing suits and sip some margaritas.

[short bus president]

2. you know the rules, dear

we're totally swimsuit optional, here.

But sipping, I'm sorry to say, is totally verboten. You gotsta chug here. If yer not lickin' slammin' and suckin'...

;-)

[XanaDUer]

8. Heh, heh

Chug a lug!

Where is the Slurm?

[short bus president]

18. fresh from the

worm, babe!

[leftist_rebel1569]

3. Hmph! ABOUT TIME!

I needs me some corrupting, when life gets me down....

Oh, don't worry...I'll try my damnedest to get laid...:D:P

[short bus president]

5. Ahem, young man

isn't it a school night? Is your homework all done?

:P

[leftist_rebel1569]

13. yeah, it is...

now, I need to get corrupted quickly now, I have to put aside some time for this new book I bought..."LIES AND THE LYING LIARS WHO TELL THEM"! HELL YEAH :D

so...where's Velma?

[VelmaD]

14. Hey Little Bit...

you were a good boy last week so why don't you hop on in the hot tub and tell us about your first day back at school.

I'm not guaranteeing anything on the "getting laid" thing. Exhausting day at work. But you might get a grope in after I pass out on short bus's shoulder. ;-)

[leftist_rebel1569]

23. ooh...hot tub

after a mediocre day at school, it sounds good...

I hate phy ed, I hate my lunch, I hate my locker...(sigh) oh well, I need to relax...

[VelmaD]

24. just for you...

I'll rouse myself enough to snap.

*snap snap*

Ramone...bring this boy a drink...don't tell me what's in it I don't wanta know...if it looks like a Coke then I can pretend it's a Coke. ;-)

Sorry about school Little Bit.

[leftist_rebel1569]

27. yeah, thanks...

but, what can one do? attempt to solve their problems. Oh, and will it be fun tomorrow...drinks very much appreciated...

but, on a better note, I bought Al Franken's new book! YAY! :D

[VelmaD]

29. I know baby...

school sucks...work sucks...life sucks...

But not in the Grotto. ;-) (not that there aren't plenty of lovely things in the Grotto that suck mind you)

Good for you on your purchase od Al's new book. His last one was fuckin hilarious. I did not buy it today. I did however buy 3 pairs of pants and 2 pairs of shoes. Shopping for clothes really takes it out of a girl. Hee - we stimulated the economy today. Go Us!

Be a good boy and ask Ramone nicely to bring me another glass of wine.

[leftist_rebel1569]

34. okay...

*SNAP SNAP* Ramone...bring me some more wine...

Yeah, we stimlated the economy...yay for us!

and now, I relax in the tub...must...forget...troubles...ahhhh....much better...

[VelmaD]

38. You're a good kid...

I don't care what they say about you down at the jail. ;-)

Yup, we stimulated the economy. If it turns around and whistleass gets re-elected our fellow Grotto denizens will know just who to blame.

[VelmaD]

4. Short Bus!

I have arrived. My boss was a psycho bitch today. Can I have a glass of red wine and a cuddle?

DV

[short bus president]

7. snap for the wine, hon

and come on over fer some cuddle. I actually do feel kinda cuddly tonight. Just don't feed me after midnight. ;-)

[VelmaD]

11. I'm too tired to snap baby...

do you think maybe the mind whammy would work to get Raul over here with that bottle?

I'll take that cuddle though you big ol' teddy bear you.

*smooches*

DV

[XanaDUer]

15. Here's a cuddle, then...

:pals:

[VelmaD]

19. Thanks sweetie.

Been wanting one of those. I love the new icons.

Hee. You're gonna melt short bus' and Leftist Rebel's brains with the hot girl-on-girl action. ;-)

DV

[short bus president]

22. shortbus brain?

you must be thinkin' of some other bus, babe. All the thinkin' blood's flown South for the winter. ;-)

[XanaDUer]

26. Well, Velma

I meant it for shortbus, but, what the hell?

Here's your cuddle! :pals:

LC

[short bus president]

20. omigawd I'm so turned on right now...

:7 :7 :7

:P

[XanaDUer]

28. And we're gonna spank ya!

:spank:

[VelmaD]

30. Well if he wasn't already...

turned on that would certainly get the little perv all excited.

Let me help. :spank: :spank: :spank:

Trust me, he loves this. ;-)

[XanaDUer]

31. LOL!

n/t.

[short bus president]

33. oh, you two!

you just know the way right to a guy's heart, don'tcha?

<bigsmooches>

[VelmaD]

35. Through his ribcage...

or possibly up through the colon. Your pick. ;-)

[short bus president]

41. Do I hear an offer of

womenema? I'll need to get really, really drunk first...

:P

[VelmaD]

44. *snap snap*...Ramon...aqui...

bring me a couple of liter bottles of Herradura.

And the enema bag, a gallon of water, a bucket of ice cubes and a bottle of tobasco sauce. And put a wiggle in it.

[short bus president]

45. Er, uh...

THIS is what you meant by "cuddle?"

We have GOT to discuss our vocabulary words, miss Deevee...

[VelmaD]

48. I'm sorry...

Liberty Chick started paddling your ass and it perked me right up.

Mmm...stingy red short bus ass...

[dolo amber]

6. Right, then...

I've done manly man work the last 2 days. I've fixed my car and moved 3000 metric tons of shingles off of my driveway. And thus, I want to celebrate and relax Uber Alpha Male Stylee!

*snap snap* "Jorge!! A bottle of whiskey, no, I don't need no steenkin' glass, a cigar, and some porn, chop chop!!"



If anyone needs me I'll be passed out in the corner with my hand down my pants...:P

[VelmaD]

10. Well...

your hand down somebody's pants anyway. ;-)


And if you need any assistance I know someone who can supply you with hot, fucked up German porn. :evilgrin:

DV

[dolo amber]

21. My good Velma...

So kind of you to offer! I will most certainly take you up on that should the opportunity ever *arise*. ;)

[short bus president]

12. Sure thing, hon

just lemme know if I can lend a hand in any way. I know I said I'm bein' a lazy host, but I AM somewhat of a handyman, as well...

;-)

[TrogL]

9. champagne please

no tequila - learned my lesson last night

[short bus president]

16. "champagne for the manly man!"

and don't sit on the jacuzzi jet, please - geez! Manners, man!

;-)

[Lady Freedom]

17. Some thing stronge and cuts all the way down!

Editors stink!!!!!!!! :grr:

[short bus president]

25. that's almost too bad

'cause if they sucked they'd be more than welcome here. ;-)

[Lady Freedom]

47. They suck more like as in...

Republican than in playfriend! They are the dumbest... corect that, 2nt. dumbest creatures on earth! :nuke:

[LeftPeopleFinishFirst]

32. I shall miss the grotto

Damn school gets in the way of everything. I should drop out and become that kid who works at the convenience store. Then I could hang out at the grotto alllll night long! :D

[VelmaD]

36. Are you 18?

Are you supposed to be in the Ball Pit?

Who let in all these darn kids? *grumble mutter* ;-)

Darth Velma

[LeftPeopleFinishFirst]

39. I got VIP passes

from da boss (see below)

[short bus president]

37. YOU are allowed in the Grotto anytime, Maggie

because you're my favorite underaged DUer. And I'm SO SORRY about the school thing. I hated it for years. But you know, necessary evil and all.

Now get some sleep - you must be fresh and malleable for your brainwashing on the morrow. ;-)

[VelmaD]

40. Sorry...miscommunication

amongst the Grotto management. Welcome Maggie.

We gotta have more regular staff meetings ;) short bus so this kinda thing doesn't happen.

[LeftPeopleFinishFirst]

42. It's ok

:) I am going to sleep, but perhaps the grotto will be visited by me tomorrow so I can tell you all about my day at school :scared:

Enjoy the hot tub.

[short bus president]

43. sleep tight, hon

School won't be so awful.

Little birdie on my shoulder tells me there are some boys there hot to get after you...

;-)

[VelmaD]

46. Sweet dreams

You're welcome to come back any time. We're here to listen if you need us.

*age appropriate cuddle and off to bed with you*

[leftist_rebel1569]

49. i'm going to sleep too...

good night everyone! :hi:

[VelmaD]

50. G'night Little Bit...

sweet dreams and have a good day at school tomorrow...or at least as good a day as you can.

*age appropriate smooches*

[Lady Freedom]

51. Where my drink?

What happen to the servce around here? :grr: ( :) )JK!!!

[VelmaD]

52. You act like...

you've never been here before. Snap your fingers and a cabana boy will be right there. Sheesh.

[Lady Freedom]

53. My finger hurt to much!

Stupid editor!!!!!!! Can't take understand that when there is no story there is no story! :grr: anbody got bandaids for my poor fingers? :(

[VelmaD]

54. Stupid editor!

Here...allow me to be of service.

*snap snap*

Manuel...get your cute little ass over here and take this ladies drink order. Keep 'em coming - I don't wanta see her glass empty. Be good or I'll turn you over to her for "correction". ;-)

Better?

[Lady Freedom]

55. Q: Better? A: Hope he messes up!

hehe!

[VelmaD]

56. Keep hope alive

Yes, yes you do...Manuel is very good at what he does. ;-)

[Aristus]

57. Coffee and doughnuts are now being served in the Grotto.

Once again, the morning after headache: Cleaning this place up.

*empty Tequila bottles. Check. empty bikini bottoms. Check. Wonder who belongs to those? Hmm, what's-- okay, I don't even wanna KNOW what this is!*

*bottles out to the recycler. Gotta keep the Grotto green!*

Sniff-sniff. *smells like...smells like...Teen Spirit! Musta been some underagers in the ball pit last night. I'll have to take Ramon off the door and put Tiny there instead.*

Coffee and doughnuts!

:donut:

[short bus president]

58. yeah, thanks man

I'll take a gallon jug of lukewarm bean juice and a box of those Lard Lad donuts, and go hide in the corner.

Why on Earth would someone's friggin' dentist call him at 8am to remind him of an appointment later in the week scheduled for a much more laziness-appropriate time of the morning? Sigh. Quality mouth-sadists are so hard to find these days.

[Aristus]

59. Bean juice and doughnuts for sbp.

:donut: :donut:

Must have been some kind of fun here last night. Who did what to whom?

I hear Velma's been missing her Teutonic Love Slaps.

[TrogL]

69. bikini bottoms

Those would be mine.

Was wondering where they got to.

[short bus president]

70. I TOLD you

not to sit on the jacuzzi jet, fool!

;-)

How do you take your coffee, Mr. TrogL?

[Aristus]

60. Hmm. I would have expected by now to have people emerging

from the shadows, holding their heads and groaning. I'll just walk around with the coffee pot. The aroma should get people going. I'll avert my eyes if I see some Grotto-dwellers in undignified positions.

:donut: :donut: :donut: :donut: :donut:

Mmmmmm! Smell good?

[short bus president]

61. well, I know where at least one Grotto-dweller has gone

but she'll be here before too long - slaves to train first, ya know. But I have it on good authority she's DEFINITELY looking for a good "bent oafer" time this mornin'. ;-)

[Aristus]

62. I'm glad. I've come to enjoy my 'morning-after' sessions with

Velma. Makes up for missing the night action. :evilgrin:

*gathers up cocktail napkins and liquor-bottle seals and throws them away*

[Aristus]

63. Well, I'm just going to sit in the shade with my coffee

and some doughnuts. Watch the world go by.

[short bus president]

64. well, er, um...

if yer that bored, I could always use a German lesson - the ladies really seem to dig it. I understand the meaning of "nein" (dammit), and I've got the "bent oafer" thing down, but there must be more to German than refusing and grabbing ankles...

[Aristus]

65. Well, there's

Bitte, kommen Sie hierher, schatzie! (Come here, please, sweetie!)

Wie alt sind Sie? Uber achtzehn? (How old are you? Over eighteen?)

That's a good start.

[short bus president]

67. OK, I see a few interesting words in there...

"uber" could be useful - how does one say "my knee?"

Also, the first sentence seems much too polite to me. How would one substitute "bring yer arsch" for "come here?" And also, um, how does one say "right f*ckin' now!" ?

Much obliged. ;-)

[Aristus]

71. 'Meinen k-nee' Pronounce the 'k'.

'Bring doch Ihrer susser arsch!' (Bring your sweet ass over here!)

Probably easier on the ear in French, but at least in German, they know you mean business!

[short bus president]

73. yup - German seems to be

all business. But you know, some girls like that. There's no doubt that when someone yells at you in German, they mean it.

So, uh, "bring" is "bring?" That's convenient...

[Aristus]

75. Yeah, German can be pretty easy.

For example: "Bitte, kommen Sie hierher." Might be difficult to translate. It's the polite form. Now, if you use the direct order, "Komm hier!" it becomes perfectly clear.

If you've ever seen "Raiders of the Lost Ark" where the giant mechanic is wanting to fight Indy, it sounds like he's saying 'come here, come here' in English, but he's really speaking German.

[Kellanved]

113. Not all business

It's just that it can be easier to be "direct" than courteous in German.
I don't want to know where Aristus picked up these phrases :evilgrin:

For a quick reference http://dict.leo.org is the best ressource.

[Aristus]

66. Guess I'd better get the pool-net and fish those boxers out of the

pool. Ew! Where is the owners of these? Okay, I need another cup of coffee.

:donut: More coffee, sbp?

Noch ein kaffee fur Sie?

[short bus president]

68. yup - mine's gone cold

fresh gallon, please. And maybe a liter of Baileys with it? My head's startin' to catch up with me. Needin' some dog hair...

[Aristus]

72. Hair of the Dog comin' right up.

Coffee with Bailey's, sir.

:donut:

Man, where are the ladies? Late sleepers?

[short bus president]

74. one's on her way

the rest are scared of us. ;-)

[VelmaD]

76. I have returned...

from training the wage-slaves. And while yes I am wearing black leather boots that lace up the back today there were no whips or chains involved (more's the pity).

And just *thud* over your German lessons for short bus.

Ready to scream a little and paddle my ass? *begs prettily* ;-)

Darth Velma

[Aristus]

77. God! I 've been waiting for you.

Now that your here, I don't feel like paddling right now. I need to get in the mood. Can I just caress your butt for a while?

[VelmaD]

78. You mean to tell me...

my mere presence doesn't inspire you to a whip-wielding frenzy? I'm hurt...deeply. ;-)

Fine. Feel free to fondle to your little heart's content if it'll help move things along. *sigh...I'm so put upon* ;-)

That tattoo on my right hip could probably use a little extra attention.

DV

[Aristus]

79. Well, fondling whips me into a frenzy, that's for sure!

Care to return the favor? I'll make it worth your while.

[VelmaD]

80. My momma always told me...

not to take candy from strangers. ;-)

Seriously though, sure, I believe in tit for tat. ;-)

[Aristus]

81. Okay.

I'll take a little tit now, and give you some tat in a little while.

I heard you missed my German lessons. And I read that I was on your list of want-to-meets! How sweet.

How does that feel?

[VelmaD]

82. Nice...

Just keep headed back toward the tattoos. They're like a little road-map to keeping me happy. *shh, don't thell short bus, he's already obsessed with them enough as is*

And of course I missed my German lessons. I haven't been paddled properly in days and days. Blame short bus. I know I do. :P And you know my retention is not so good. I may not remember much more than "Nein". Then again, what else does a girl really need to know.

re: "want-to-meets" Remember the company you were in on that list. Are you sure you're touched to be listed alongside DarkPhenyx, short bus, and Leftist Rebel? ;-)

[Aristus]

83. Sure, why not? Although I'd rather have you to myself!

*caress* *caress* *SLAP!* Just getting warmed up now.

Okay, now for your tattoo. *caress* *caress*.

Ist das gut fur Sie, schatz? Brauchen Sie mehr?

[VelmaD]

84. Warming up is important...

wouldn't want to pull a muscle or anything. ;-)

Jah, ist gut.

As for question number 2, well...you're gonna have to do a little "correctional instruction" because I didn't understand. :-(

[Aristus]

85. Do you need more?

*slap, slap!* Because I've got more.

*slap, slap!* Okay. here goes.

:spank: :spank: :spank:

[short bus president]

87. Pssst! Aristus!

Lemme give you a helping hand, here...

[VelmaD]

88. I always need more.

Give it to me baby. ;-)

*grabs the chair legs and settles in for the afternoon*

*happy sigh*

[short bus president]

86. yup, you folks go right on with what yer doin'

pay no attention to the bald weeping gentleman over in the corner with his hand down his pants...

<pout>

[VelmaD]

89. Don't cry sweetie pie...

you can have a turn too when we're done. *smooches*

[Aristus]

90. She looks cute like that, doesn't she, sbp?

Got endurance, too.

:spank: :spank:

:spank: :spank:

Ooo, it's turning pink! I like it!

[short bus president]

91. redden sie arsch!

or something like that, anyway. My Germglish kinda sucks. ;-)

[VelmaD]

93. Wowee...

I have multiple men hollering at me in German today. I'm such a lucky girl. ;-)

*smooches all around*

[VelmaD]

92. Yup...

you keep dishing it out 'cause I can keep on takin' it.

No stopping til the red on my ass matches the red on my tattoo. ;-)

[short bus president]

94. mm-hmmm...

<lick>

;-)

[Aristus]

95. Bikini tan-marks are so sexy!

They show you what you'd be missing if she were dressed!

Hey, sbp, not to be a Bogart or anything, but you had your fun last night. Can me and Velma be alone for a bit?

You hush! Keep your head down! :spank:

[VelmaD]

96. At least let him watch.

Otherwise he'll pout and he really holds onto that kind of thing and he won't be any fun for me later on in the Grotto tonight.

Plus he might learn something. :evilgrin:

Ok, shutting up now sir. ;-)

[short bus president]

97. all yers, friend

all I ask is that you leave me somethin' to wrap the hotwire around later...

[Aristus]

98. Okay, thanks sbp.

Okay, Velma, you relax now. *gentle caresses on tattoo and surrounding area*. I'll take my payment now. You can go slow. Don't want to tire you out for tonight.

[VelmaD]

99. Tire me out?...

snort...you're obviously confusing me with some other bottom. ;-)

Oh well, untie me from the chair and tell me what you'd like. *only slightly frustrated sigh*

[Aristus]

100. Well, if you got that much get-up-and-go, don't use

half-measures on me! Just a little fondling and caressing and smooching, thank you. Feel free to use your imagination. :evilgrin:

[VelmaD]

101. You might wanta consult...

with short bus before you go offering to let me use my imagination. (The stories that boy could tell. And he's really indiscreet.) ;-)

You just want me to give you a tumble in the hot tub or are you up for the thing with the glass rod and the rubber mallet?

[Aristus]

102. Good point.

A tumble sounds great. The glass rod and rubber mallet: not so great.

In the hot tub. I like. Very Hugh Hefner!

[VelmaD]

103. *whine*

Why is it no one will let me do the thing with the glass rod and the rubber mallet? *pout*

Alright. Shimmy outta those lederhosen and let's get it on. *smacks you on the ass and shoves you toward the hot tub*

And I don't care how much money he has - Hugh Heffner is a singularly unattractive man. Ick.

[short bus president]

104. I'll make you a deal, babe

we can discuss the rod and mallet fantasy over some clown makeup and KY. Sound like fun? :evilgrin:

[VelmaD]

106. NO CLOWN MAKEUP!

No circus music either! That's your kink not mine.

You can fill the freakin' hot tub with KY though. You're gonna need it. :evilgrin:

[Aristus]

105. Ahh, nice 'n' hot!

*lederhosen off* Sorry if I turned you off with the mention of Hef. Get it back, girl. Get it back.

Nice. I like the look of the water trickling off your shoulders. I submit to your will. ;-)

[short bus president]

107. and I,

having been suffiently threatened, now back quietly away...

[VelmaD]

108. No, no, no...

leave on the cute little hat. ;-)

So nice of short bus to fill the hot tub with KY today. You're going to be ever so grateful.

SHORT BUS! Fetch me some rubber gloves. Time to play "naughty prison guard". ;-) So, you got any body cavities that need to be searched baby? ;-)

This may hurt a little but it's something you'll get used to.

[Aristus]

109. Whoa, whoa, WHOA! It's not the cavities that need attention!

Although the KY is a good idea. I'm about as lubed up as I'm gonna get. Put me outta my misery. :pals:

[VelmaD]

110. Oh calm down.

Relax. Trust me. I have little hands. Won't hurt a bit.

You can't tell me you've never let anyone do this. And if you haven't believe me you're in for a very special afternoon. ;-)

And it's a quid pro quo kind of thing so think about how much fun it'll be when it's your turn. ;-)

[Aristus]

111. Nope. Never done this kinda thing.

A woman's tackle goes IN. A man's goes OUT. That's the way it is. Just be nice, wouldja?

[VelmaD]

112. I'm thinking I can swap you...

German lessons for anatomy lessons.

The gods gave us some lovely, almost entirely identical "tackle". In fact you got the better end *snort* of the deal on this one.

Time to make friends with Mr. Prostate. :-)

[Aristus]

114. Ooo, look at the time! Gotta run!

*quick smooch* BTW, scroll up the thread a little. Kellenved is dissing my German.

Okay, it's official; Velma is way more kinky than I am! Oh well, it was fun, honey! :hug:

[VelmaD]

115. Drat!

I scared off another one. *pout*

I suppose it's ok. Gotta learn where each other's boundaries are. ;-) No more prostate diving threats (at leat for a while) if it'll keep you here beating me soundly in the mornings. *smooches*

It was fun. See you tomorrow. Same bat-time. Same bat-paddle. ;-)

[Aristus]

116. Sorry there, sexy.

I guess in some respects, I'm still a babe in the woods. I'm still good for a nice fondle and a squeeze or two, though. And my paddle is always at your command!

[VelmaD]

117. There's nothing wrong...

with a nice fondle and a squeeze or two.

The whole point with the paddle sweetie is that I am at YOUR command.

Don't worry. We can teach you these things as we go along. Ask Leftist Rebel...I'm a very good teacher. ;-)

[Aristus]

118. Oh, I believe it.

*caresses your cheek with finger* See you tomorrow, sexy girl. Go easy on LR tonight.