How I keep Jehova Witnesses from knocking on my door

[Booberdawg]

[Uncle Sam]

1. Daves not home

When they knock at the door keep yelling " Daves not home, go away"

Works for me. lol

[rucky]

2. Nice Knocker!

...that brass thing on the door is pretty cool, too.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

3. tell them you didn't see the accident

[salmonhorse]

11. that'z a goo't 1

[HawkerHurricane]

4. Save pamphlets

Jehovah's Witnesses, Mormans, Fundies...I have some pamphlets from all three lying around (hidden where the kids can't find them and corrupt thier innocent minds).

If one group comes to the door, they get paperwork from both the others. Hey, you want me to read your stuff? You've got to read mine!

[ewagner]

5. I invited them in

debated them for about an hour...brought out books..argued historical facts....

two weeks later they came back...I dragged out the books and they left in five minutes....

I think they put some kind of secret mark on the sidewalk....they haven't stopped since although I've seen the team walk by....

I'm almost insulted .....uuuummmm...maybe not

[devarsi]

13. It's true!

they keep some kind of secret list on which doors to approach, and which doors to skip.

After running my pagan vegetarian routine, where I invited them to look at my altar and offer an incense stick to a Hindu deity, while I played Hare Krishna music in the background, they pause at my door for a moment, then put their heads down and skidadle. :eyes:

[Wwagsthedog]

16. It is a good tactic

I invited them in, sat them down, then brought out a bottle of vodka and told them I wouldn't talk to anyone who wouldn't have a drink with me. They excused themselves and left. Too bad they didn't know I take so many medications that I can't drink alcohol. Haven't seen them since.

[devarsi]

6. I invite them in to chant Hare Krishna with me

They came by once, left in a puff of smoke. I never have seen them again.

Doesn't seem to work with the Mormons. They love to talk about Krishna. Weird....

[BurtWorm]

7. It takes some serious balls to do that.

That's nuts.

[Booberdawg]

9. Burt!

Get a hold of yourself!:D

[BurtWorm]

12. I'm sorry. I see big fat balls coming at me

I'm going to swing the bat.

[Dogmudgeon]

8. Fight Fire With "Entheta"

When the J-Wits hit my town, I make sure to have a couple of free copies of Dianetics to lay upon 'em.

I have the Sicentology rap down pretty well, and can get them to bugger themselves off in five minutes or less.

--bkl
And my Body Thetans are ALL sexually active!

[salmonhorse]

10. The Jehovah Witness Protection Program?

I explain to them I was baptised a Catholic; that my uncle is a Bishop in the Mormon Church; I've studied 'the east'; have a Torah; find no conflict between evolution & creation (in fact they complement one another) and that in any event they are preaching to the choir and need to apply their wares to the truly lost and forsaken who are legion and elsewhere ~

They blink, pass out a few pamphlets, smile and leave...

:shrug:

[opihimoimoi]

15. That JW cult is known for their brainwashing. These guys are sheep doing

the bidding of their Hd Bros, sorry, no Hd Sisterhood, nada. The sheep get lessons in how to "sell" their shit.
They are made to feel guilty if they cannot do as the others do, walk around and sell their shit hoping to find a "soul" to save by recruiting them into the fold.

In a way, they don want to recruit "smart", they would prefer dumb and easily fooled sheep. What can I say??

[Booberdawg]

14. I don't explain anything to them.

I just say no thanks and close the door.

[kodi]

17. open the door naked...with an erection.

i promise, they wont come back

[CanuckAmok]

19. OMG--read my "Slayer" post! You're not my old room-mate, are you?!

n/t

[CanuckAmok]

18. "Slayer" works wonders...

...kill silverfish, too.

I lived off-base one year, and had a civilian roomie who made a point of stripping down naked everytime he saw them working the neighbourhood, and he'd answer the door that way. The best was that some of them would deliver their schpiel, pretending not to notice!!