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George_Bonanza Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-07-03 02:24 AM
Original message
Share poems, and judge!
I'd like to hear some of the poems that you guys write.

I must warn, I have a bias against free verse. I have seen too much crap in school newspapers and teen forums. I'm no poetry judge, but I know when somebody's basically writing a fragmented and disjointed piece of prose and passing it off as poetry. It's always about "pain this," "loneliness that," "torture, lament..." Blah blah. BTW, no offense to the writer of the poem with the deceased brother. I could appreciate the real emotion you put into that, as opposed to some turned-down date angst. I have a natural liking for traditional rhyme and rhythm, like Shakespearean sonnets, opposed to modern free verse stuff. I just like having the rules presented to me, and having to struggle to reach and bend those boundaries, as opposed to being able to do whatever I want, almost being overwhelmed by the infinite choices. All the stuff I write are usually in a very traditional "ABAB" format. Perhaps as I write more, I'll grow tired of it and try exploring more. But this is my preferred format so far.


Title: Observations from my window, 11:00 pm

A solitary light, outside my view
Posted upon my telephone pole
Homely and warm in its yellow hue
Whose luminescence modernity has stole

Darkened edifaces with a window light
Out come the owls with the night to gain
Remembering their days when joy was at its height
While the rest of the world gladly forgets their pain

Jams are no more, the streets look old
The grandiose mountains have gone to fade
Whose towering peaks, at day appear so bold
Have bowed behind night's moody shade

A tall oasis of shining appears in the east
Whose longing eminence catches my eye
Proving the wheels of thought are perpetually greased
And the ingenuity of mankind never does die


Title: New York Poem (My Favourite City)

Heaven's lustre gives no justice to you
For your beauty is lost in its palate
Your full splendor can only be seen through
The brief stoking fires that morn does lit

The clouds roll from your majestic skyline
All the imitators, how I pity
From the lands of ice to the lands of pine
Who stand pale next to my New York City

My memory recalls your unique skies
As one dwarfed kid gazes from the streets
To the high rises, like gods, old and wise
Walking the streets, feel the city heartbeats

I still wait for the celestial shades
To bestow its fullest blessing to thee
Each spectrum falling to earth like cascades
Ode to mankind to last eternity!


Title: My Nation's Army

This is my nation, the purple and gold!
And I stand among them, ready for battle
To continue a war, both embattered and old
The hymns blare and the very ground rattles

The armour is donned, we are not weary
My captain is taut, like a lion to roar
We are armed and ready, to battle clearly
And my general I do see, with a clipboard

I sense noon is high, as we take the field
Which will serve as this day's battleground
And since it is yet that our fates are to be sealed
We pray to hold the honour to which we are bound

The conflict commences, with brutal zeal
Lines are advanced, then soon counter-attacked
A fallen one looms on the far side field!
A daring ace has caught some flak

The surrender is issued at 3 hours
When it was beyond clear they could not win
A humbled nation, but by no means cowards
They retreat from the grounds, to their consoling kin

Our resounding victory of tact and skill
Has come at a price, for we are worn
But we rise early next morn, and train still
For our muscles are not severed, merely torn

Thus is football, when a group of one and ten
Of boyish comrades, after school, briefly become men


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JohnKleeb Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-07-03 02:30 AM
Response to Original message
1. cool I am bound to make one for DK soon
BTW

Heres a quite simple one

War
Its rather sad, all the dead
for they all had a story
someone or something to live for
now its gone and gone for the ages
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Jim Sagle Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-07-03 02:40 AM
Response to Original message
2. Here's a REALLY simple one.
A Question for the Resident

Hickory dickory dock
Why don't you suck my cock?
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KeepItReal Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-07-03 03:12 AM
Response to Original message
3. Ode to D.U.?
I once thought I was losing my mind
Like I was the only one who was not blind
To the schemes of the "Right"
As they used all their might - and stole our Democracy.

Then somehow I found D.U.
And right then and there I knew
I was not all alone
Since then a light has shown - and our Democracy will be again.
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