Story of the Christian

[JanMichael]

Don't beat me up - I made this up off of a goofy Atheist "email" posted here: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=170460 .........

A Christian was walking through the woods one day in Alaska, admiring
all that God had created. "What majestic trees! What a powerful river!

What beautiful animals!" he said to himself.

As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. Turning to look, he saw a 13-foot Kodiak brown bear beginning to charge towards him. He ran as fast as he could down the path. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was rapidly closing on him.

Somehow, he ran even faster, so scared that tears came to his eyes.
He looked again & the bear was even closer. His heart pounding in his chest, he tried to run faster yet. But alas, he tripped and fell to the ground.

As he rolled over to pick himself up, the bear was right over him, reaching for him with it's left paw and raising its right paw to strike him....he yelled out, "OH MY GOD!"

Time didn't stop.......
The bear attacked.......
The forest was filled with the sounds of a bear lunch............
The river ran red.

While being savaged, a brilliant light shone in the man's mind, a thunderous voice came from within his brain, HE THOUGHT GOD SPOKE: "YOU CLAIM MY EXISTENCE FOR ALL THESE YEARS, TEACH OTHERS THAT THE BIBLE IS FACT AND EVEN CREDIT EVOLUTION TO SOME "INTELLIGENT DESIGN". DO YOU EXPECT ME TO HELP YOU OUT OF THIS PREDICAMENT? "AM I SUPPOSED TO MAKE UP SOME DUMBASSED MIRACLE TO SAVE YOUR SORRY ASS?"

Difficult as it was, the Christian looked directly into the light (IN HIS OWN WITTLE MIND) & said, "It would be reasonable to ask that you save me after all these years.

"NO!" said GOD.

The light went out...
The river ran...
The sounds of the forest resumed...

AND the bear dropped down on his knees, brought both paws together, bowed his head and ate.
========================================



Hardy har har har. "Get it" now? Funny, eh?


PS~ MODS: Delete or lock this thread as it's nothing more than flame bait.

[trof]

1. Oh my.

Is this going to be one of those "gotcha last" threads?
;-)

[JanMichael]

2. Nah. Just a point to be made.

Like I said, lock it, delete it, et freakin' cetera:-)

[Blue_Chill]

3. So defensive.

why? :D

[JanMichael]

4. You know why, don't you?

Seriously, I don't see DU as a good place for either sort (Atheist, Christian, Islamic, Gay, Sexual, Theist, et cetera.) of jabbing (Intentionally Obtuse either counts) jocular conversation.

Please don't forget that I just married an Episcopalian theology student that intends to counsel trauma victims. I respect her choices and do my best not to mock or belittle them. I expect the same here, I'd like to see some civil behavior.